monday,tuesday,random
i dont know why i feel this way. my feelings come from such a different place. according to adam the heart necklace i found in the taxi was an omen. He thinks ill find love. He's also a kabbalist.adam is one of the teachers here in china. he is an art appreciator and is showcasing some art in london.He showed me pictures of what he'll be showcasing and i couldnt help it but my critical side of me came out.I of course kept all my comments in my head.....they almost made it to my mouth. I mean what he has done as "art" has been done before. He is exploiting consumerism by putting together ad's from different designers and photocopying words on it. adbuster magazine is the pioneer of such criticism...in my opinon but he is very inspiring. I myself am experiencing a sort of prison within the four walls of my imagination. I went to a junk shop and picked up all these old television remote controls. I also passed by a dumbster and picked up this huge white board....im going to use this as a mounting block. I lined up the remote controls on the bottom of the white board to signify buildings and i bought some chinese ink and made some dramatic clouds with a sort of ink splatter to represent rain. I have some other art pieces in the works and on tuesday im going to have my very first art show...in my hotel room!! Those of you in america, if you can make it, are invited...my hotel room number is 8202 and im at the longyou grand hotel. Today i went to a very old temple with no tourists (thank GOD). It was so beautiful and the broken bricked walls and the trees and the little orange fishes swimming in the pond really altered my acceptence of the chinese culture and craftmenship. Today, while i was walking down the corridor of the anciant chinese building (alone) i couldnt believe the fact that im here in china. It almost feels like a dream to me, like tomorrow ill wake up in my room alone with the sun shineing on my face through my half opened blinds. Today carla, adam and i were talking about wet dreams...which i only have had one since being here. carla thinks that people who have wet dreams are sexually deprived. I beg to differ. I just watched hero with all my roomates and it was cool, (may i say that i want to delete the word "cool" from my venacular). we all ate kfc for dinner which is across the street from are hotel. I also think ive lost all my body fat. Im kind of tired of fried tofu and noodles and rice and cucumbers...but its all have. carla went and bought some skippy peanut butter and jam. It was great making sandwhiches and talking until three in the morning. As i sit in this internet cafe next to this asian gamer i feel a sense of tiredness. Not that im ready to go home but that im ready to continue traveling. I like the idea of sleeping on the train or flying in an aeroplane. Its comforting. Im also on a road to massive growth, not one from child to adolescence but one from adult to an adult of understanding and character.gosh! I cant help it........fuck!. Im so deep and im always sitting in a corner of my mind just thinking of random ideas and things, I feel like i dont even dream anymore. Like when your a kid you dream all the time. whether it be about animals, or flying or something. I dont have that anymore. I want to be a kid. that careless kid with no responsibilitys and burdens. I want to go outside and fly a kite or sit on a balcony and blow bubbles and watch them pop or fly into the sky with grace. Thinking is such a disease.......i cant stop. plato and descarte are my source of inspiration when it comes to life and living. words, the common currency of communication, thank GOD for words and voice. without neither we could never get to know eachother and nature. human nature trying to touch nature and vice versa. Is it wrong to be me? Why is it hard to be carefree. Analytical? yes. careless? not even close.