You can't go home again
So my mother and I just finished having a discussion about whether or not I should continue living at our house in Bobcaygeon in the summer.
And I think I choose....not to.
I am a "stressful" child to have around. This is because my mother has certain rules I disagree with. For instance, my boyfriend slept over last night...he is allowed to sleep on the futon downstairs. My room is downstairs. So 'what's the difference/harm if he comes into my room?', is what I figure.
But this morning my parents opened my bedroom door to let the dog out (that I stupidly left in there because I know how she likes to sleep-in with whoever is still in bed)...and they saw Eric there.
My mom said there was going to be a "huge fight" in a bit...
and after some ignoring...said that I am disrespectful, and that we did not discuss 'that'...
I said I thought she wouldn't care because she said he could sleep in the futon which is so close to my room anyways, like it is practically impossible for us to not sleep together while being that close. Plus it SUCKS I mean we can do it at his house...we do it all the time!
I just assumed (for some strange reason) that she would not care...
Wrong.
So here I am again. The bad daughter. Why am I constantly fucking up?
I need to stop doing whatever I want, and assuming it will be okay.
She said the reason was that it made her and dad uncomfortable. I guess that is reasonable.
I think sometimes I just get so sick of feeling guilty for everything that I have ever done wrong in my life, and I just go on a rebellious spree where I don't care what happens because I am making myself happy.
Recently I learned my mother lived with her parents while attending college. This might explain her traditional behaviour.
My grandpa was a strict man. My nanny, very traditional as well.
I must be a total nightmare to her.
Anyways, I am considering moving into a house in Peterborough after I am done school. I really like my house in Bobcaygeon, and I really like everyone at my job in Bobcaygeon. I really like Bobcaygeon.
But I am really unsure as to how successful I will be in not pissing off my mom again.
I can't seem to resist it.
But...in the summer, I will probably be at Eric's a lot. I will probably need them for rides...for food...for showers...and for laundry. I can just see it not going well.
I really wish I didn't owe my mom ......*calculating* $2070.00
I wish I could buy a car...
And have enough to pay rent in the summer
I wish I didn't make so many mistakes in so little time
And I think I choose....not to.
I am a "stressful" child to have around. This is because my mother has certain rules I disagree with. For instance, my boyfriend slept over last night...he is allowed to sleep on the futon downstairs. My room is downstairs. So 'what's the difference/harm if he comes into my room?', is what I figure.
But this morning my parents opened my bedroom door to let the dog out (that I stupidly left in there because I know how she likes to sleep-in with whoever is still in bed)...and they saw Eric there.
My mom said there was going to be a "huge fight" in a bit...
and after some ignoring...said that I am disrespectful, and that we did not discuss 'that'...
I said I thought she wouldn't care because she said he could sleep in the futon which is so close to my room anyways, like it is practically impossible for us to not sleep together while being that close. Plus it SUCKS I mean we can do it at his house...we do it all the time!
I just assumed (for some strange reason) that she would not care...
Wrong.
So here I am again. The bad daughter. Why am I constantly fucking up?
I need to stop doing whatever I want, and assuming it will be okay.
She said the reason was that it made her and dad uncomfortable. I guess that is reasonable.
I think sometimes I just get so sick of feeling guilty for everything that I have ever done wrong in my life, and I just go on a rebellious spree where I don't care what happens because I am making myself happy.
Recently I learned my mother lived with her parents while attending college. This might explain her traditional behaviour.
My grandpa was a strict man. My nanny, very traditional as well.
I must be a total nightmare to her.
Anyways, I am considering moving into a house in Peterborough after I am done school. I really like my house in Bobcaygeon, and I really like everyone at my job in Bobcaygeon. I really like Bobcaygeon.
But I am really unsure as to how successful I will be in not pissing off my mom again.
I can't seem to resist it.
But...in the summer, I will probably be at Eric's a lot. I will probably need them for rides...for food...for showers...and for laundry. I can just see it not going well.
I really wish I didn't owe my mom ......*calculating* $2070.00
I wish I could buy a car...
And have enough to pay rent in the summer
I wish I didn't make so many mistakes in so little time