kill him.
i was so nervous and i didnt think that youd be able to tell. im sorry. i didnt know you payed that much attention to my heart beat. understand that i just dont want to ruin things for you. i think that you are happy not thinking about me. and even though i need you more than ever rigt now, i am still biting my tongue. i dont want to give you any reason to worry about me. but i do at the same time. i find myself conused at some points. but then i realize that its not you confusing me, it is only myself. i often find that im only teasing myself with you. i love way you look at me sometimes. and i love the way you hold me on that rare occasion. or vise versa?. there are so many things that i miss that i know i could never replace. and all i want is for you to come back to me. thats all i want. thats all i know ill ever want. and its the one thing i cant have. i guess it just kinda makes me mad that he barely knows who you are and gets to have what i want.