(no subject)
on waking up in the dark end of the day.
i suck at the moment. i'm an implosion of crap. i have to be in tottenham for work at 8am, at least the 8-6 leaves me little time to remember. im listening to the fireworks right now. my heart hurts. my headhurts. i will throw myself into my work tomorrow. i will apply for ten jobs, painstakingly. i will only have one or two hours to kill before bed again. i don't want tv and i don't want music. i don't want other people. i want mindless productivity and mindless sleep. i will turn my phone off. i will throw it in the lake and i will sleep and i will wake up at the dark end of the night. and i will go to work and hopefully, somewhere along the line, i will stop waking up in the dark.
i suck at the moment. i'm an implosion of crap. i have to be in tottenham for work at 8am, at least the 8-6 leaves me little time to remember. im listening to the fireworks right now. my heart hurts. my headhurts. i will throw myself into my work tomorrow. i will apply for ten jobs, painstakingly. i will only have one or two hours to kill before bed again. i don't want tv and i don't want music. i don't want other people. i want mindless productivity and mindless sleep. i will turn my phone off. i will throw it in the lake and i will sleep and i will wake up at the dark end of the night. and i will go to work and hopefully, somewhere along the line, i will stop waking up in the dark.