life sucks a little more each day...
well so far i haven't got any plans for my future, sooo i defidently need some. i'm still currently license-less and i hate it . i think that that was one of my dad's ways of making shure i stay here in dinky-ass Georgetown fuckin Indiana. well i dunno. Its not so much indiana as it is georgetown. Like i wouldnt mind living up by indy or something around there. Everyone here is soo worrried about their fucking reputation,... "we live in a small town dont fuck up or everyone knows.." etc.. WTF? what do i care if someone that i DONT know knows that i fucked up? OMG i smoke cigs.. whats the big fuckin deal? its not like i do anything else even though i know people who could get me pretty much ANYTHING!.. meth.. X..... ANYTHING!! well this town pretty much sucks.And its not like i really get to talk to the people back in Cali they are all doing their own thing and i'm not really in their lives anymore. Which is fine and i get that but yea.. I MISS THEM! Ike, kristin, Sarah, Cole, rachel, Devin, Jeanee, Ryan.. fuckin everybody.. i wish i could be there but money is the obstacle i have currently. I need moeny to do anything, plus at this point in my relationship with Logan i'm pretty shure i wouldnt go anywhere that far without him. i love him and of that i'm shure! I'm pretty sure that he is the only person i'm going to be with for a long while.
But on a different note:
I've done some pretty stupid things in my life and i know i that i cant change them but now that my sister has surpassed me on the stupidity/ druggie level what am i supposed to say to her when i used to do the same stuff and dont want to sound hypocritical? he dad, my step-dad, told her that she cant get her permit if she doesnt enter a drug rehab program. Its a 6 month program . She is an admitted alcoholic, even though she admits it she's fighting going to the rehab program tooth and nail. A couple of friends of mine in Davis say that she blames me for leaving and i get to here all these stories of kelsey in her drunken stupor. part of the drinking i know comes from her last december incident, but she was drinking WAY before she got raped in December. But if she blames me for leaving her she knows that it wasn't up to me to leave, if she doesnt know that,.. she should! I cant get through to her and we used to be closer than anybody. She and i were always each others best friends b/c we used to move so much. i miss my sister!
all i can do is ask for help and that's all i want her to do.
SOMEONE HELP ME ...JUST PULL THE TRIGGER AND SEND ME INTO AN OBLIVION..
But on a different note:
I've done some pretty stupid things in my life and i know i that i cant change them but now that my sister has surpassed me on the stupidity/ druggie level what am i supposed to say to her when i used to do the same stuff and dont want to sound hypocritical? he dad, my step-dad, told her that she cant get her permit if she doesnt enter a drug rehab program. Its a 6 month program . She is an admitted alcoholic, even though she admits it she's fighting going to the rehab program tooth and nail. A couple of friends of mine in Davis say that she blames me for leaving and i get to here all these stories of kelsey in her drunken stupor. part of the drinking i know comes from her last december incident, but she was drinking WAY before she got raped in December. But if she blames me for leaving her she knows that it wasn't up to me to leave, if she doesnt know that,.. she should! I cant get through to her and we used to be closer than anybody. She and i were always each others best friends b/c we used to move so much. i miss my sister!
all i can do is ask for help and that's all i want her to do.
SOMEONE HELP ME ...JUST PULL THE TRIGGER AND SEND ME INTO AN OBLIVION..