(no subject)
I have just decided taht i really like delayed starts. i wake up to my own alarm clock, not my parents yelling for me to get the hell up. and the whole house is so peaceful. I love being the only person here, especially in the mornings. Walking around in my pj's and drinking my moms left over coffee. I can already tell that today is going to be a good day.
Over the past few months ive been trying really hard to figure out what my life is missing. I thought it was the lack of love, or good friends, or hobbies...but i realize that the only thing that i think i was ever missing was myself, and how i used to be. I think everybody must just come to a point in their life where they just grow up and your point of view completely changes, things dont matter like they used to, and you just realize how shitty the world really is. I miss the times i had my freshman year and probably part of my sophomore year when i was so fucking immature, lived in my own little world, didnt care about other people, or how lame of a person i was, because i had fun. i thought i was loved, and i thought i had real friends. But both of those things slipped away, and its sad to know that i've probably never even touched either.
I want to know how i can somehow be happy again, because i dont know what exactly happened to make me this miserable and bitchy. I dont want to live in another world and live in that ignorant bliss, but i do want to grasp some sort of happiness.
And on that thought, i think im going to end this entry. My coffee is getting cold and i need a ciggarette.
Over the past few months ive been trying really hard to figure out what my life is missing. I thought it was the lack of love, or good friends, or hobbies...but i realize that the only thing that i think i was ever missing was myself, and how i used to be. I think everybody must just come to a point in their life where they just grow up and your point of view completely changes, things dont matter like they used to, and you just realize how shitty the world really is. I miss the times i had my freshman year and probably part of my sophomore year when i was so fucking immature, lived in my own little world, didnt care about other people, or how lame of a person i was, because i had fun. i thought i was loved, and i thought i had real friends. But both of those things slipped away, and its sad to know that i've probably never even touched either.
I want to know how i can somehow be happy again, because i dont know what exactly happened to make me this miserable and bitchy. I dont want to live in another world and live in that ignorant bliss, but i do want to grasp some sort of happiness.
And on that thought, i think im going to end this entry. My coffee is getting cold and i need a ciggarette.