(no subject)
yea, so...
i have been told that some of the things i said may have hurt some people. well, to those people i appologize. BUT im not going to stop writing about the way i feel about things in my live journal. i AM blowing off steam b/c thats the reason a lot of people keep journals. I do feel that everybody makes mistakes, and yes i have made some, im not denying anything. I know what kind of person i am, and i dont need lectures from anybody. Im sorry if the last entry may have seemed a little harsh but the one thing i hate is when i am lied to. And to wake up one day, and find out that your best friend has lied to your face about everything they are, it broke my heart. It made me furious and it made me really fucking upset. I felt like a moron b/c i never wanted somebody to pull me in that much just to see that the whole thing was some fake joke. Thats not fair. I am human, i have feelings. According to some poeple, i am a cheater, a liar, a theif, whatever. In my life, people are going to look down on me, that should be expected. But i never would have thought to expect that somebody whole told me they cared about me and that they trusted me to my face, would tell everybody else that i was dishonest. I AM honest, i rarely ever lie to my friends or people that i know. The only reason i ever would have lied is if somebody set up the situation where i would have to lie. Everybody can think that im a liar or anything you want, it doesnt even phase me, but please rethink who you are getting your information from. If jens mom thinks im a liar, its only because jenn told her mom crap about me. Jenn lied to me about her career, all her 'free clothes' that she got as a model, she lied about her modeling photo shoots, she lied about how i would NOT get in trouble b/c she would pay her mom back for every check out of her nonexsistant modeling fund if her mom ever caught her for the fake checks she was writing. It was stupid of me to believe it and still cash them. I realize this NOW. Im young, and im sorry. But when i was with jennifer, i truely thought i knew her and she was my best friend, and i fell into a hole everytime i was around her, and it was just me and her...in our own little world. I didnt think about anything. I became dishonest and i began being a 'bad' person. But now i've snapped back into my own world, into a real place. Now im with real people, and i can really be myself now. Because i AM an honest person, too honest actually. But you would have to actually know me i guess....
ANYWAYS.
Today i spent the whole day with my boyfriend and laura, just like the day before that and they day before that. He is goign back to augusta tomorrow so im a little sad but it will be okay. Laura is becoming one of my very best friends in the whole world. :)
Laura and i have decided that we want an alpaca. really bad.
I still miss my older friends, and im going to try to meet up with them and hang otu with them for the rest of summer.
Yep...thats all.
Love, bek
i have been told that some of the things i said may have hurt some people. well, to those people i appologize. BUT im not going to stop writing about the way i feel about things in my live journal. i AM blowing off steam b/c thats the reason a lot of people keep journals. I do feel that everybody makes mistakes, and yes i have made some, im not denying anything. I know what kind of person i am, and i dont need lectures from anybody. Im sorry if the last entry may have seemed a little harsh but the one thing i hate is when i am lied to. And to wake up one day, and find out that your best friend has lied to your face about everything they are, it broke my heart. It made me furious and it made me really fucking upset. I felt like a moron b/c i never wanted somebody to pull me in that much just to see that the whole thing was some fake joke. Thats not fair. I am human, i have feelings. According to some poeple, i am a cheater, a liar, a theif, whatever. In my life, people are going to look down on me, that should be expected. But i never would have thought to expect that somebody whole told me they cared about me and that they trusted me to my face, would tell everybody else that i was dishonest. I AM honest, i rarely ever lie to my friends or people that i know. The only reason i ever would have lied is if somebody set up the situation where i would have to lie. Everybody can think that im a liar or anything you want, it doesnt even phase me, but please rethink who you are getting your information from. If jens mom thinks im a liar, its only because jenn told her mom crap about me. Jenn lied to me about her career, all her 'free clothes' that she got as a model, she lied about her modeling photo shoots, she lied about how i would NOT get in trouble b/c she would pay her mom back for every check out of her nonexsistant modeling fund if her mom ever caught her for the fake checks she was writing. It was stupid of me to believe it and still cash them. I realize this NOW. Im young, and im sorry. But when i was with jennifer, i truely thought i knew her and she was my best friend, and i fell into a hole everytime i was around her, and it was just me and her...in our own little world. I didnt think about anything. I became dishonest and i began being a 'bad' person. But now i've snapped back into my own world, into a real place. Now im with real people, and i can really be myself now. Because i AM an honest person, too honest actually. But you would have to actually know me i guess....
ANYWAYS.
Today i spent the whole day with my boyfriend and laura, just like the day before that and they day before that. He is goign back to augusta tomorrow so im a little sad but it will be okay. Laura is becoming one of my very best friends in the whole world. :)
Laura and i have decided that we want an alpaca. really bad.
I still miss my older friends, and im going to try to meet up with them and hang otu with them for the rest of summer.
Yep...thats all.
Love, bek