as much as i hate myself, i hate you more

[killmefuckme]

wow. long time. summer's over. which sucks. a lot.
in fact right now it's pouring and crazy windy, which just reminds me even more how quickly colder weather is approaching. i love fall, but its so short. im not looking forward to 5 months of winter.

i know a lot has happened. but right now i cant remember anything.
school is going fine. except bio. i just hate it.
i dont mind any of my other classes.
in fact im looking forward to going out to the designer showhouse on thursday. im just not looking forward to driving to jamesport.

tonight i made a hugggge mistake.
and though i feel like crying, it probably wont happen until tomorrow.
fuck fuck fuck. i hate getting angry and doing stupid things.

on a different note, im drinking nothing but cranberry juice and water. and it sucks. ive even tried to cut myself back to only one or two cups of coffee a day so i can consume more cranberry juice. eff drug tests.
but i have two possible jobs to call back and set up interviews. which is woo. it's about fucking time.

this is too long.