blocked off
I look into your eyes and I see you deep in thought.. thinking about distant memories. Your green eyes wished for the past to come again, for true happiness to surround you. I feel myself spinning in your eyes, in your heart, in your mind. I don't know where I stand with you cuz I'm so lost, so damn confused from what you did, from what you put me through. Maybe you think it was nothing but you made me lose faith in something I held so dear, you made me take a step back and wonder to myself...
You looked so sad as the clock ticked on and time began running out. It was rushing you, choking you, wasn't it? I felt your palms sweating and your mind plunging into deep turmoil... your hell is painful... To feel your breath was to burn my skin...
~~~~~~~~~
I've felt so sick the last couple days and I wish I knew why. Every time I look in the mirror my eyes are tearfilled and I'm shaking cuz I'm so scared of myself. I hate how I am, I hate why I am the way I am. I get these flash backs from things that happened when I was a child but they haven't been kicking in till lately; they're horrible memories that I wish I never knew about, but now I know why I'm bisexual and why I'm suicidal. There are so many people in the world I know, but none of them know me. I wish I could count on just one person, one fucking person to be there for me when I reach out in my lonely nights and beg for help. No one knows the monsters in my mind and honestly, I'm glad that no one has to deal with them. Look into my eyes... they are so distant, so lost, so overwhelmed. I try to get away by writing and listening to music when I have no other alternatives, but this music pounds on my head... it attempts to make my mind burst.. and my writing, it doesn't do anything anymore, it doesn't even make sense, not like it ever did. My friends, they can be great, but some of them make me wonder if they even care at all. PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING BLIND! I'm so alone... I'm so alone... I'm so alone... and with that, my tears flow, blocking off the exits... killing me
Goodbye
You looked so sad as the clock ticked on and time began running out. It was rushing you, choking you, wasn't it? I felt your palms sweating and your mind plunging into deep turmoil... your hell is painful... To feel your breath was to burn my skin...
~~~~~~~~~
I've felt so sick the last couple days and I wish I knew why. Every time I look in the mirror my eyes are tearfilled and I'm shaking cuz I'm so scared of myself. I hate how I am, I hate why I am the way I am. I get these flash backs from things that happened when I was a child but they haven't been kicking in till lately; they're horrible memories that I wish I never knew about, but now I know why I'm bisexual and why I'm suicidal. There are so many people in the world I know, but none of them know me. I wish I could count on just one person, one fucking person to be there for me when I reach out in my lonely nights and beg for help. No one knows the monsters in my mind and honestly, I'm glad that no one has to deal with them. Look into my eyes... they are so distant, so lost, so overwhelmed. I try to get away by writing and listening to music when I have no other alternatives, but this music pounds on my head... it attempts to make my mind burst.. and my writing, it doesn't do anything anymore, it doesn't even make sense, not like it ever did. My friends, they can be great, but some of them make me wonder if they even care at all. PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING BLIND! I'm so alone... I'm so alone... I'm so alone... and with that, my tears flow, blocking off the exits... killing me
Goodbye