rant

[killmealready]

For some reason I’m feeling really bad right now and it’s making the world seem so grey. I just need someone who knows what to say when they have to leave when I don’t want them to but I haven’t met anyone like that yet, and I don’t expect to either because I want no one but Nick because he’s perfect for me. We’ve given each other so much of ourselves that I don’t ever want to go back and I hope he won’t either even though I know eventually, he will. Life is bad for him and I don’t help… he just needs support and I won’t help because “I have my own problems and my life sucks and the past haunts me and yadda yadda yadda”… who gives a fuck about anything I have to say anymore? I hope the answer is no one cuz it’s the same damn shit over and over again. It’s like I can’t let go of it… or is it more like, it won’t let go of me? Either way it’s hard on me to go through some of this feeling alone but I’m so much happier with my life right now. I feel strong. I feel happy. But I will always have those pitfalls of mine that show me where I came from and what will soon be mine again when whatever being is up there decides to play havoc with my life as he/she/it has done before.

…Lovely rant I must say…