Flashbacks
For me, a flashback isn't just a memory. It's a targeted, highly painful memory that something sets off. The flashback is in technicolor glory over half the time, and it isn't strange that when I come out of a flashback, I'm *very* confused. And upset.
I had a bad flashback yesterday evening after my roommates decided to "tease" me about cutting my hair. I was sent back to a more painful memory from childhood, freaked out on my roommate (thinking, more or less, that she was my mother) and half the dorm. So they aren't speaking to me, and my sister and parents are now incredibly aware that I'm not half as comfortable about my grandmother and aunt coming to visit as I tried to pretend.
Because that's the other aspect. I have to be on edge to begin with (in this case, because my biological mother's family has decided to visit) to go into a full-fledged flashback. Last night, I was tired, incredibly jumpy, and then the roommates just made it all worse.
I had a bad flashback yesterday evening after my roommates decided to "tease" me about cutting my hair. I was sent back to a more painful memory from childhood, freaked out on my roommate (thinking, more or less, that she was my mother) and half the dorm. So they aren't speaking to me, and my sister and parents are now incredibly aware that I'm not half as comfortable about my grandmother and aunt coming to visit as I tried to pretend.
Because that's the other aspect. I have to be on edge to begin with (in this case, because my biological mother's family has decided to visit) to go into a full-fledged flashback. Last night, I was tired, incredibly jumpy, and then the roommates just made it all worse.