(no subject)
5 months today.
I'm actually really impressed, considering how rough a ride this thing can get sometimes.
For an English major, I never seem to say the right thing, to be able to formulate the sentences necessary to make him understand that he hasn't screwed up, and that sometimes it is just simply MY FAULT.
I wrote this poem once after a massive fight we had about wanting to say the right thing but failing because i'm breaking his heart with every syllable, and sometimes thats what it feels like.
I'm scared of how hard I've fallen, how much I rely on knowing that someone loves me. I sat in my room and cried the other night because I couldn't get a hold of him no matter what I did and he had promised to call me back, which he did, and I just missed the calls. I don't know why I'm so damn irrational, but I am. I hate that I need him.
I like that we don't acknowledge stupid anniversaries, we both just know. We don't do anything special, I'm working, he's going to Brock and Dom's party. Just knowing is enough, actually I spent the first few months believing that there was no anniversary. How dumb did I feel when he told me. hahaha
Its too late, though. I've already let him in, and all I can do is hope that he keeps loving me like he does now.
He promises me California, and skating, and coffee in real cafes in Paris. He knows me, and I want to go all of these places with him. It's only 5 months.
I'm actually really impressed, considering how rough a ride this thing can get sometimes.
For an English major, I never seem to say the right thing, to be able to formulate the sentences necessary to make him understand that he hasn't screwed up, and that sometimes it is just simply MY FAULT.
I wrote this poem once after a massive fight we had about wanting to say the right thing but failing because i'm breaking his heart with every syllable, and sometimes thats what it feels like.
I'm scared of how hard I've fallen, how much I rely on knowing that someone loves me. I sat in my room and cried the other night because I couldn't get a hold of him no matter what I did and he had promised to call me back, which he did, and I just missed the calls. I don't know why I'm so damn irrational, but I am. I hate that I need him.
I like that we don't acknowledge stupid anniversaries, we both just know. We don't do anything special, I'm working, he's going to Brock and Dom's party. Just knowing is enough, actually I spent the first few months believing that there was no anniversary. How dumb did I feel when he told me. hahaha
Its too late, though. I've already let him in, and all I can do is hope that he keeps loving me like he does now.
He promises me California, and skating, and coffee in real cafes in Paris. He knows me, and I want to go all of these places with him. It's only 5 months.