Remember that Mind on a Platter speech...yeah same deal...

[killianorlight]

So its 2:04am and I cant sleep. And you know why? Because of The Soul Sucking She-Bitch Sherri...all I did was see her in passing today, and now I cant stop fucking thinking about her. I mean for chrissake what the hell is wrong with me. Am I just completely mental or what. I mean apparently if I look at what exactly my mind is doing to me right now, as much as lets say the front part of my brain wants nothing to do with her the back part apparently does, and my lower head...well thats an easy guess. I want to gouge my eyes out with spoons right now, rusty ones, with jagged edges...or a rusty spork, that would work. I mean what the hell kind of punishment does my mind want. While trying to sleep I had a thought that Blamed ME for her leaving me, what kind of fucked up person who gets left by a woman twice for bullshit reasons thinks that HE is the problem this long after said relationship has been over. Something really need to be fixed in my head. Like maybe removing it...that might help. The fact it is affecting my sleep, and that this all happened as I was starting to think maybe, just maybe I was ready for a relationship again. I am one self-destructive motherfucker...and its really starting to piss me off. I mean, I found out yesterday that I cant give a compliment without it having something to do with me. And the only reason I'm so self-centric is that no one ever compliments me except me, so I try to whenever I can. And of course it comes off as I am some fucking EGOMANIAC...fuck that...if my ego is big its because I have covered all the holes with Duct Tape and am trying to keep it slightly inflated so that it doesn't die completely and I become that worthless piece of shit I was in High School. I mean I fucking YouTube now, because frankly or apparently as I didn't know this till yesterday, I really like hearing myself speak, or some shit like that. And of course this entire rant probably proves anyones theories that I am in fact an EGO-FUCKING-MANIAC. Well Piss off...I am who I am right now because I got tired of being the rug I was in high school. I am allowed to change myself into something I respect aren't I...or is that not allowed around here.

Of course this Sherri thing still fucking pisses me the fuck off.

And, I am out of cigarettes and I really don't want a beer.

I have reached a new level of pissed.