Dang, I should have posted on this the other day instead of just adding it to my memory list and going "damn good post". It will not change the ignorance or stupidity of those who refuse to listen to anything that might threaten their safe little view of the world and their secure place in it. But, I have to add my two cents.
Over half of my female (and a few of my male) friends growing up have been victims of rape at some point in their lives. I have never had a situation arise personally, but I have trained myself extensively in women's self defense beyond my black belt training. Several people have commented in all seriousness that anyone who means me or my loved ones harm would have to have a death wish. I know my capabilities and limitations well enough to say that not everyone who might mean me harm would risk their life in messing with me, but no one would come out of a fight with me unmarked and happy.
I have the training & knowledge to disable, maim, or kill someone if the situation called for it. But, what does my training mean in the face for preventing rape...? Nothing, absolutely nothing. In most instances, I can prevent myself from being raped. If I am nearby, I can prevent someone I care about from being raped. But, I could educate & train every woman I met and it would still not change things.
In essence, defense training is meant as a precaution against those who are relatively unprepared for the violence they threaten, but otherwise it just raises the bar. Honest citizens learn self-defense, but criminals can train in martial arts as well and bend it to their needs. People can watch their drinks, but criminals can be friends with the bartender or pay them off. People can cover up their bodies, but most rapists aren't motivated any more or less by that short skirt or clingy top. Well trained martial artists dressed conservatively can be raped too...and if you don't believe that one, there's a guy I'd like to introduce you to.
The biggest factor in why rape occurs is because, in many countries, the general mind set is one which fosters rape. Men are taught to be overly bold in romance, to ignore patience in all things, and to have a disrespect for women. Not all, but many, find this to be a perfectly fine thing--they're safe to do as they please and not feel ashamed because that girl brought it on herself by having fun at the party or attempting to walk home when she needed to. On the other side, women are taught that men always want sex, can be ready at the drop of a hat, and will never say no...that if they do say no, then something is wrong with them. It's a general lack of being proactive about a problem, then making excuses when it happens.
For those who took this OP to mean that one shouldn't be cautious, this is not a literal piece, but something meant to point out where the energies should be put if you want to really solve the problem. If you have limited resources and really want to prevent rape, don't spend the money/time on defense classes and telling women they need to cut their hair or just blaming the victims when they cry for help. If you really want to solve the problem, you need to do what is working in the countries/societies with low/no rates of rape. Namely, children are raised with a healthy outlook on relationships and the other sex. Believe it or not, there are places out there where someone would never even think to rape another person or do anything to condone such behavior because rape is seen as a crime whose than murder. In all truth, it is worse; rape is a crime done out of desperation, a lack of skills, and a self-hating attitude. There really isn't any image more pathetic than the frat guy who "got some" with the unconconscious woman upstairs because he couldn't do any better, doesn't have any self-control or respect for other people, doesn't have the skills to compete on a fair playing field, and doesn't have the self-respect to demand any better of himself.
I am one person and I have limited resources. I am a martial artist at heart and a cautious person, so I will remain such and would teach my daughters self-defense, alongside my sons, for all its benefits. But, the more valuable training will be in respect for themselves and others, in how a having healthy relationship means hard work & skills developed over time, and to not condone any dishonorable act.
(Sorry for the long post; I'll get off the soapbox now.)
Over half of my female (and a few of my male) friends growing up have been victims of rape at some point in their lives. I have never had a situation arise personally, but I have trained myself extensively in women's self defense beyond my black belt training. Several people have commented in all seriousness that anyone who means me or my loved ones harm would have to have a death wish. I know my capabilities and limitations well enough to say that not everyone who might mean me harm would risk their life in messing with me, but no one would come out of a fight with me unmarked and happy.
I have the training & knowledge to disable, maim, or kill someone if the situation called for it. But, what does my training mean in the face for preventing rape...? Nothing, absolutely nothing. In most instances, I can prevent myself from being raped. If I am nearby, I can prevent someone I care about from being raped. But, I could educate & train every woman I met and it would still not change things.
In essence, defense training is meant as a precaution against those who are relatively unprepared for the violence they threaten, but otherwise it just raises the bar. Honest citizens learn self-defense, but criminals can train in martial arts as well and bend it to their needs. People can watch their drinks, but criminals can be friends with the bartender or pay them off. People can cover up their bodies, but most rapists aren't motivated any more or less by that short skirt or clingy top. Well trained martial artists dressed conservatively can be raped too...and if you don't believe that one, there's a guy I'd like to introduce you to.
The biggest factor in why rape occurs is because, in many countries, the general mind set is one which fosters rape. Men are taught to be overly bold in romance, to ignore patience in all things, and to have a disrespect for women. Not all, but many, find this to be a perfectly fine thing--they're safe to do as they please and not feel ashamed because that girl brought it on herself by having fun at the party or attempting to walk home when she needed to. On the other side, women are taught that men always want sex, can be ready at the drop of a hat, and will never say no...that if they do say no, then something is wrong with them. It's a general lack of being proactive about a problem, then making excuses when it happens.
For those who took this OP to mean that one shouldn't be cautious, this is not a literal piece, but something meant to point out where the energies should be put if you want to really solve the problem. If you have limited resources and really want to prevent rape, don't spend the money/time on defense classes and telling women they need to cut their hair or just blaming the victims when they cry for help. If you really want to solve the problem, you need to do what is working in the countries/societies with low/no rates of rape. Namely, children are raised with a healthy outlook on relationships and the other sex. Believe it or not, there are places out there where someone would never even think to rape another person or do anything to condone such behavior because rape is seen as a crime whose than murder. In all truth, it is worse; rape is a crime done out of desperation, a lack of skills, and a self-hating attitude. There really isn't any image more pathetic than the frat guy who "got some" with the unconconscious woman upstairs because he couldn't do any better, doesn't have any self-control or respect for other people, doesn't have the skills to compete on a fair playing field, and doesn't have the self-respect to demand any better of himself.
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(Sorry for the long post; I'll get off the soapbox now.)
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