Going Back
"Wala ka pang plan na bumalik dito?"
("No plans of coming back here?")
"Bakasyon (lang). Haha, wala nang babalikan eh, gustuhin man."
("Only for vacation. Haha, I don't have anything to go back for, much as I want to (have something to go back for).)
"Iba na. Dami nang nagbago."
(It's different (now). There's just so many changes.")
Above, is an excerpt of a facebook conversation between my friend, Ivan Mariano and I.
I happened to be going through my facebook messages and chanced upon the ones I haven't responded to. He messaged me months earlier and just neglected to respond back.
We talked about YFC and SFC--about our jobs, life here in Canada, and well, me going back home.
Even though most of the times, I feel rather homesick --and yes, I know it has been 5 years-- I still can't help feeling melancholia and nostalgic about the life I had back in the Philippines. It was too easy. I miss my friends and my family. I miss the easy lifestyle.
However, whenever I get asked whether I want to go back and live there, I can't say I want to go back and live there for good anymore. It's just like what I said, there's nothing to go back there for--everything is different. I would go back to visit but not stay. My friends aren't there anymore--some of them are overseas, some of them have families, and have different priorities in life.
Life here is better--though not easy. It's quite an adjustment, believe me--having grown up in the Metro.
I wish I can expound on this even more but truthfully, I can't. I have misplaced my ability to write eloquently. I need to write more in order for me to articulate what my thoughts and feelings are. To be able to use metaphors as examples to visualize how I'm feeling, would be a quest.
But bottomline: I can't go back for good. I can, however, visit. :) Perhaps, with my loved one in the near future...
("No plans of coming back here?")
"Bakasyon (lang). Haha, wala nang babalikan eh, gustuhin man."
("Only for vacation. Haha, I don't have anything to go back for, much as I want to (have something to go back for).)
"Iba na. Dami nang nagbago."
(It's different (now). There's just so many changes.")
Above, is an excerpt of a facebook conversation between my friend, Ivan Mariano and I.
I happened to be going through my facebook messages and chanced upon the ones I haven't responded to. He messaged me months earlier and just neglected to respond back.
We talked about YFC and SFC--about our jobs, life here in Canada, and well, me going back home.
Even though most of the times, I feel rather homesick --and yes, I know it has been 5 years-- I still can't help feeling melancholia and nostalgic about the life I had back in the Philippines. It was too easy. I miss my friends and my family. I miss the easy lifestyle.
However, whenever I get asked whether I want to go back and live there, I can't say I want to go back and live there for good anymore. It's just like what I said, there's nothing to go back there for--everything is different. I would go back to visit but not stay. My friends aren't there anymore--some of them are overseas, some of them have families, and have different priorities in life.
Life here is better--though not easy. It's quite an adjustment, believe me--having grown up in the Metro.
I wish I can expound on this even more but truthfully, I can't. I have misplaced my ability to write eloquently. I need to write more in order for me to articulate what my thoughts and feelings are. To be able to use metaphors as examples to visualize how I'm feeling, would be a quest.
But bottomline: I can't go back for good. I can, however, visit. :) Perhaps, with my loved one in the near future...