Yeah
I'm Tyler. What I'm about to write is extremely negative. You will not find anything other than pessimism in all of this. Nature doesn't permit us to have a good life as many obstacles are immune to your ambition to get better and succeed. You can put forth the greatest of efforts and remain in the same shitty situation as you would if you didn't do shit. This is why I don't do shit. I know that no matter how hard I try at whatever I do, it won't help me transcend the quality of my life. To me, life is a joke because it can't do anything but suck. I'm not interested by much of anything. I like really funny jokes when I'm in an above average mood. I don't really like music anymore, and I don't really have inspiration or motivation for anything. I can play a good couple of instruments pretty decent, but none of it really matters. While part of me would like to completely void myself of an ego, I also consider maintaining an ego a crucial step in experiencing life as a human being to the fullest. You can't just get rid of your ego, you have to play with it. Experiment with your surroundings. When you get bored with people, change the way you react to them, and this will force them to change the way they react to you. While Earth is my playground, it's not much of a fun one. It can't be. In this game of life, they left out character selection and a reset button. Fuck that. I feel like I'll never be able to change my mind about anything ever again. I'd probably be diagnosed with schizophrenia if I was tested, but I don't even believe in that disease the way other psychiatrists believe it. I place meaning on the dumbest shit just to make my life partially seem like shit has meaning in it. But honestly, I don't like anything about this life, and I'm too selfish to be truly empathetic with anyone ever. I think people have the right to be selfish. I'd love to care about people, but if doing so won't serve me any good, why bother?