to stand so tall when in fact in ruins

Feb 16, 2007 23:07

i'm not actually dead,
heart still beats and head still thinks. feet still move and tongue still spits; strung along.

my stomach is in a lot of pain right now. i'm not sure what the fuck is wrong but it's pretty awful. i'm probably going to lie down after this.

i've been doing well with classes, in particular, logic class. for some reason i just get it, and i've gotten 94s on both of my tests so far.

it seems i can't stop making people mad at me, so lately i've been just trying to say as little as possible when i'm around other people. this might make me boring, but i'd rather be bored and accepted than outspoken and outcast.

this weekend has been good so far, i got practically blackout drunk last night and passed out on ryan's floor for a few minutes. i saw gym class heroes for free tonight, and tomorrow i'm going with emma and everyone to look at a house that we might get next year. hopefully that works out.

i'm not really sure what the fuck i did, really, but maybe i'm just not as good as when you met me. something's changed; maybe it's me. please dont push me out, please. i dont know what i'd do. but i feel like i am on my way out.
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