forever was...
one year and a week...
it's over. i ended it last night. i actually managed to fool myslef last week into believeing everything was gonna work out. but he had to keep on pushing it yesterday morning and i started thinking. i hate to think! i always realise the truth, and it isnt always a fun thing to do. anyhow i thought of what i wanted from a relationship and realised this wasnt what i wanted. it was a year ago... but we all change and i want something different from what i wanted ayear ago. and we keep holding eachother back. thinks wont work out, it hasnt been these past few months and if we stoop lying and be realistic for a change it's easy to realise we're bound to end up somewhere we don't really want to be. so i ended it. it sucks, we had our dreams, planned the future... but its never ever gonna happen. sad to say hes still got some stuffs in his apartment and lst week i got loads of stuffs i really like and keeps reminding me of him. i think ill just send it all back to him once i get a payment.. hopefully end of this month...
im kinda ok.. just wished that the right thing to do didnt hurt this much.
i just feel like being the most selfish, egoistic bitch in the whole world. but i know im doing the best thing. its not worth living in a lie and pretending to be happy. hopefully it's worth being sad...
btw did i say i had a job? handing out free news papers in la in the mornings before i ahve to go to uni.. have had it for a week and i love it!
it's over. i ended it last night. i actually managed to fool myslef last week into believeing everything was gonna work out. but he had to keep on pushing it yesterday morning and i started thinking. i hate to think! i always realise the truth, and it isnt always a fun thing to do. anyhow i thought of what i wanted from a relationship and realised this wasnt what i wanted. it was a year ago... but we all change and i want something different from what i wanted ayear ago. and we keep holding eachother back. thinks wont work out, it hasnt been these past few months and if we stoop lying and be realistic for a change it's easy to realise we're bound to end up somewhere we don't really want to be. so i ended it. it sucks, we had our dreams, planned the future... but its never ever gonna happen. sad to say hes still got some stuffs in his apartment and lst week i got loads of stuffs i really like and keeps reminding me of him. i think ill just send it all back to him once i get a payment.. hopefully end of this month...
im kinda ok.. just wished that the right thing to do didnt hurt this much.
i just feel like being the most selfish, egoistic bitch in the whole world. but i know im doing the best thing. its not worth living in a lie and pretending to be happy. hopefully it's worth being sad...
btw did i say i had a job? handing out free news papers in la in the mornings before i ahve to go to uni.. have had it for a week and i love it!