Sunscreen and such
What is the deal with sunscreen? No matter what brand I buy it all has that “sunscreen-y” smell. I have the normal waterproof super sport SPF 70 stuff that blocks everything then I have this really great expensive Skinceuticals stuff I wear under make up cuz it’s not greasy and really light. They both have that smell. It’s not horrible but I can still smell ME and it just gets irritating. It makes me self conscious.
Yes I’m becoming more and more sun-conscientious lately. I have a mole on my back that I think started out as a freckle. It’s still flat but has gotten much larger over the past year I think. The Dr says I need to have it removed because it is a little oversized and that it probably isn’t cancerous but it’s better to be safe and have it checked. So now I’m paranoid and terrified of the sun. Suddenly every mole and freckle on my body that I have had my entire life has seemed to grow overnight to a huge or misshapen mass or changes colors as I sit and stare at them in the mirror. I have never been one to live in the sun so to speak, last summer I tanned for the first time regularly in years but I still wore sunscreen outside and didn’t tan my face, neck, or hands. I do love being darker in the summer but I don’t bake myself to a freakish color like so many people do. Even though I’m fair, my family on my dad’s side is of Indian descent and I used to be much darker when I was little so I still rarely burn and have had little damage over the years. I know I must be overreacting, but maybe if I overreact when the news is good I’ll be relieved. But what if I’m not overreacting? Weird shit is always happening to me so who knows. I hate this. And honestly I already miss the sun.
Yes I’m becoming more and more sun-conscientious lately. I have a mole on my back that I think started out as a freckle. It’s still flat but has gotten much larger over the past year I think. The Dr says I need to have it removed because it is a little oversized and that it probably isn’t cancerous but it’s better to be safe and have it checked. So now I’m paranoid and terrified of the sun. Suddenly every mole and freckle on my body that I have had my entire life has seemed to grow overnight to a huge or misshapen mass or changes colors as I sit and stare at them in the mirror. I have never been one to live in the sun so to speak, last summer I tanned for the first time regularly in years but I still wore sunscreen outside and didn’t tan my face, neck, or hands. I do love being darker in the summer but I don’t bake myself to a freakish color like so many people do. Even though I’m fair, my family on my dad’s side is of Indian descent and I used to be much darker when I was little so I still rarely burn and have had little damage over the years. I know I must be overreacting, but maybe if I overreact when the news is good I’ll be relieved. But what if I’m not overreacting? Weird shit is always happening to me so who knows. I hate this. And honestly I already miss the sun.