What about raping Japanese schoolgirls?!?1?!
You are Kyo.
Which Dir en grey Member Are You?
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Ah yes, it's been quite odd lately. XD Me revealing to [Tasha] and [Angie] what has to be, my most deepest, darkest, secret. Yet once you know you'll all be laughing your asses! >_____<;;
Then I've just been very weary and mentally exhausted. I'm so sick of people's shit. >_>;;
Well, I started getting messages on MySpace from [Bryce], which I wasn't quite happy with at first but I decided to be nice to him. Yet all of sudden he's dissing on me, [Jason] and [Gage] about how "uberly goth" we are and our so-called "uber goth friends". It pissed me off because then he has the nerve to comment me just to insult my pictures! So I told him,as if yours are any better, dear, and he proceeds to act like he never insulted me and goes on rambling about how he's superior than anyone because he's the "real thing" and B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T! Pbbft. .____.;;
Oh it gets better. If I remember well, when I first started getting into [Tragic Black], he would make fun of me and comment on how their music pretty much sucks compared to the stuff he listens to. Yeah ok, [Virgin Prunes] and [Razed In Black] are really awesome bands but you don't go over someone's house just ot diss on the type of music they listen to. So now that he got a MySpace guess what he does? He adds [TxB]! >.< So I told him, I thought you didn't like [Tragic Black], and he says,Yeah well, free merchandise never hurt anyone. WTF?? Excuse me, but I only got [Articulate Lacerations] because [Derek] was late on my order and I still fucking pay for their stuff! That's soo fucked up of him and I just hate people who do that!
Blaah, then I'm kind of mad at [Brittney] because she comes over, we have fun at first, but then she starts getting all... selfish. Everything has to be about her. And so she wants to know what happened between me and [Chaz] and I tell her and guess what? I get called cheap and easy. Umm, [Britt], if I were cheap and easy I wouldn't be a virgin still. I would've let [Chaz] fuck me over and get away with it. But did I? Noo, and now he's the one that wants me back. >__>;; I'm sorry, hun, but you being my friend, it hurt that you'd say something like that to me. And i think it's really disrespectful what you did between [Angie] and her friend. I have no clue what's going on with you, doll, but it's making me and [Angie] mad and I'd appreciate if you'd stop with all these cries for attention because we've always been there for you and all you've ever done was leave us until you needed us.
Then things between my mom and me are getting out of hand. I'm sick of her talking down on me. Today I went to go walk HER stupid, fat, idiotic, dog and when I get home, what do I get?
Mom:: Haha with that choker, the dog can walk you!
Me:: Hrm, funny. >___>;;
Mom:: Go give this to MY dog *hands me bowl of beef* Oh and there are beans in the fridge for you. MY dog gets all the meat and you get all the trash.
Me:: That's nice. I'd rather die. *calling to dog* DAISY! DAISY!!
*5 minutes later*
Me:: DAISY YOU DAMN DOG COME EAT YOUR DINNER!
Mother:: *laughs* Even the dog won't listen to you. No one will listen to you because you're nothing. You're even lower than dogs.
Me:: *throws bowl* Go to hell you bitch!
Keep in mind, we had guests when my mom was doing this to me. And 20 minutes later I'm on the computer talking to friends and here comes good ol' bitch aka [Mother] with her bullshit:
Mother:: *with memory card to digi cam* Ok, so how do you do this? *looks at me* Why don't you take all that shit off of you. And oh god, where on earth did you get those ugly thingS! *pulls on one of my earrings*
Me:: Are we going to start with this again? I'm not in the mood, MOTHER. I'm already pissed off at you.
Mother:: Well, what is this? How do you work it? *throws me memory card*
Me:: How the hell am I suposed to know?? I never use the camera!
Mother:: *snatches back memory card* You never know anything!
Me:: Fine. Then get out of my room!
Hrrrrm. >__>;; I'm trying to keep my cool here but it gets soo hard with her, my stepdad, and now even my siblings who've been taught to fucking hit me and insult me, to get on peacefully just through ONE DAY. I feel so stressed, tired, and just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<
Hopefully, everything turns out fine... yes, fine.
I'm also getting very sick and tired of certain people making fun of me for going sXe. Ok, I get it, it's funny that I'm all emo and shit but enough is enough. I hate calling some of them up only to get, STEFF IS EMO!! EMO!! GO CUT YOURSELF EMO GIRL!! for no fucking reason except because I went temporarily sXe.
Yeah, I do poke fun at myself but not all the goddamn time because I have a life. I'm actually liking this experience despite the fact that I keep breaking my edge. =___=;; I've learned a lot and I've met a lot of cool people whom I can trust and know that i don't need drugs, cigarettes, dunno about sex, and liqueur to have a good time. I respect myself more and I haven't drunk as much as I used to. I've also been opened to a lot of good music. [Minor Threat] and [Earth Crisis] to name a few. And although it seems very hilarious I can't stop listening to [Kill Hannah], [Silverstein], and now even... ::le sigh:: [The Used].
The style has also got me hooked, lol. I always wore my hair extensions because I didn't like the unevenness of my hair and now I just love it! I love what my hardcore friends did with my hair, how they styled it. Lol I can show off my uneven hair now because it kicks ass! XD And living in [Las Vegas] I couldn't stand wearing all black anymore. Too hot! And my friends came over and helped me "emo-fy," as we say, my closet which wasn't bad at all. I love my outfit! A black and white striped pirate shirt, jeans, chains on the side, a belt, handcuffs on the front of my pants, converse(I <3 those), black, satin, fingetip-less gloves, a pink, spiky, collar, my Isis necklace, my black mini tie, and my glasses! I never wear my glasses except in class or when I'm using my comp. I feel sexy in my glasses too and I would've never felt like this about wearing my glasses all the time if I hadn't chosen this path for a while. ^___^
I'm always bitching to people about how I hate being judged and looked down upon based on a stereotype yet that's exactly what I've been doing with sXe people, hardcore kids, and emo music. It's not as bad as people make it out to be. And this is exactly why I chose to go sXe for 3 weeks. It was my own insight on what it's really all about and I got to experience for myself the harsh judgments these people face based on their label, look, and music genre. Yeah I know, the X's are very stupid, labels aren't cool, tight pants can be a pain in the ass(literally), but I've learned to see beyond that. W0ot for new experiences! ^_____________________^;;
Anyhow, last night I talked with [Chaz] and he made the cutest thing for me ever!
Isn't it effing sweet!? Lmao yeah right. XD It was weird talking to him cuz I thought he hated me and he thinks I hate him and blaaaaaah, whatever. You see why I don't date people?? Then I talked with [Kat] and apparently we've become best friends forever. ^____^
Well, today I went over [Nicole]'s to pick up some stuff. W00t! I got these cute little earrings with ankhs and crosses on them. ^___^ Hee hee, then [Angie] and me might hang out soon and I can't wait cuz I miss her already! :)
Umm, [Alyssa], [Kat]'s ex gf, wants to hang out with me this Saturday so I might just do that and at the same time meet this guy, [Hide]. >__>;; Oi, what a strange world indeed. But I wrote a song today that kinda scares me now that I read back on it. AND I'm posting pics for your enjoyment so yeeeah.
P e t u l a n c e
Little girl,
Would you cry for me?
Those tears mean nothing,
Those tears of greed.
Why stand alone
When I can touch your face.
And kiss those eyes,
Of utter disgrace.
Sweety won’t you give in
To my crude petulance?
Won’t you please allow these
Hands of mine to touch,
And caress your sweet body,
Undo this dress and moan for me,
Darling you’ll submit,
To these lustful thoughts of mine.
I’m making you beg for me,
And cry my name for all.
A bitter taste of sweetness,
Cums from your life and calls
My name in throbbing pain
Yet I feel no need to leave.
Your virginity’s been stolen,
Oh darling won’t you scream??
Struggle all you can,
This is just mundane for me,
Contumacious little girl,
But I won’t let you free.
I’ll fuck all I can,
Until your knees are weak,
My submissive little girl,
Interminable disease.
Sweety won’t you let me,
Tie you down and caress thee?
Your clit wont deny
My tongues’ epiphany.
Your struggles and your screams,
Turn me on and make me cream,
Of once having you inside
A force life can’t deny.
Your body lays aside,
Wipe the sweat off me.
I lick those bloody tears,
Off the face I came to see.
A helpless body on the floor,
I turn around,
Walk out the door.
You’re crying from inside,
A fetal progeny.
Darling go ahead and pray,
For chastity and lustful hate,
Don’t be rushed to forget,
Bonds between you and me.
A heaven’s lust,
A heaven’s sake,
My hands the ones that always take
The life you deny,
Your sweet virginity.
And you try to hate,
But you can’t hate me.
And you try to take,
But my life’s in your need.
My darling,
My darling,
My darling,
I’ll come back and finish you
And scream.
[Goodnight Motherfuckers!]
PS. I'm still waiting for my [Tragic Black] shirt. I'm very excited! ^__^