Home
I was sitting at work yesterday afternoon, talking with Larissa and our LiveJournal’s and how neither one of us had updated in awhile. I started to update mine on just what I had been doing recently (which is nothing exciting, just working a lot) and stopped mid update and didn’t really continue. I guess I was having trouble putting things into words and realized that what I was writing about really didn’t seem all that fitting at the moment. It’s like I was trying to cover my feelings about something up. But what exactly? And then, this morning, I saw an away message and it suddenly hit me: home isn’t really home anymore. The away message was this:
You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have a place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone. You’ll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it’s just gone. And you can never get it back. It’s like you get homesick for a place that doesn’t exist. I mean, it’s like a right of passage, ya know. You won’t have this feeling until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start; it’s like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
I have come to that point in my life. As much as I love my house in Pepperell and I know that it holds all my memories up until this point in my life, it really isn’t truly my home anymore. I don’t feel like I truly live there or belong there anymore. I mean, in a sense, I guess a home is wherever your family is and that is true but what truly defines family? Just blood relation or is it more than that? Obviously, my parents and my brother and such are family, but I’ve come to realize that they aren’t the only ones. My friends from school have really become my family as well. We spend a majority of the year together, living together, growing together, crying together, and laughing together. We deal with everything together on some level-we’re in a sense the glue that holds everyone together through thick and thin. I don’t have that relationship with my friends at home really, except for Jess. Remember when graduation was approaching and everyone promised that we would never lose touch and would be friends forever and nothing would change? What happened to that promise? Did everyone just forget or have we moved on from the point of caring about the past and only worrying about the future and forging ahead in our own worlds?
Not much more on this topic-maybe I’ll post more later on when I get home. Any thoughts on this topic are greatly appreciated.
~*Katina*~
You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have a place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone. You’ll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it’s just gone. And you can never get it back. It’s like you get homesick for a place that doesn’t exist. I mean, it’s like a right of passage, ya know. You won’t have this feeling until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start; it’s like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
I have come to that point in my life. As much as I love my house in Pepperell and I know that it holds all my memories up until this point in my life, it really isn’t truly my home anymore. I don’t feel like I truly live there or belong there anymore. I mean, in a sense, I guess a home is wherever your family is and that is true but what truly defines family? Just blood relation or is it more than that? Obviously, my parents and my brother and such are family, but I’ve come to realize that they aren’t the only ones. My friends from school have really become my family as well. We spend a majority of the year together, living together, growing together, crying together, and laughing together. We deal with everything together on some level-we’re in a sense the glue that holds everyone together through thick and thin. I don’t have that relationship with my friends at home really, except for Jess. Remember when graduation was approaching and everyone promised that we would never lose touch and would be friends forever and nothing would change? What happened to that promise? Did everyone just forget or have we moved on from the point of caring about the past and only worrying about the future and forging ahead in our own worlds?
Not much more on this topic-maybe I’ll post more later on when I get home. Any thoughts on this topic are greatly appreciated.
~*Katina*~