and you know i wouldnt say 'i hate you' if it wasnt true...
you asked me.....
why i dont have a boyfriend.
and what possible reason i could have for never really having one previously.
at the time you had brought up my insanely high standards
and what you thought was a fear that all guys were just trying to get some.
you made me live in my head all night and all day, just rethinking everything
trying to come up with an answer
i established that it could possibly i fall for taken guys because then i dont have to be afraid of being hurt, because as much as id like to pretend that i had a chance, in reality, and deep down, totally dont have a chance in hell.
and i also established that i possibly set incredibly high standards and compare all possible guys to the taken ones i so longed for. i set these standards so that i didnt have to worry about anyone actually meeting them, thus also making it impossible to get hurt.
and i proved this theory actually when going out with matt
the entire time i suspected alterior motives
i always accused him of trying to play me and not being geniune.
im sure now that he wasnt and geniunely liked me
but whatev it doesnt matter all too much cuz i wasnt entirely interested anyways.
but going back to the question of the night.
you asked me why i didnt have a boyfriend now
well...to put it simply, its because of guys like you.
my biggest fear is trusting someone, and then finding out i was getting played
that it was all a joke
hence why i think any guy that likes me is pretending either on a bet or just to see if they can get me or with me or whatever.
i dont trust people easily
i am always scared they will turn, talk behind my back, take my trust and use it for evil instead of good.
i always have had this problem
without really having anything to base it on
sort of
ive always been on the receiving end of the 'i dont want you talking to/being friends with her anymore', and they always cave and fucking bend to the stupid bitches every crazy whim. :/
but ive always just had this intense fear that the guys intentions are bad and that i will end up being hurt and played and used.
and congratulations,
i never really had anything to base that fear on before
and you just proved my point
you talked shit behind my back, played me
you even made me feel like shit and fucked with my head about why i never go out with people that like me
i was actually starting to think maybe your right, maybe i should just give people a chance
and worry about being screwed over later, but enjoy it at the time.
thanks. thanks alot.
i dont want to hear from you again.
im glad youre gonna be gone for a few days
i wish you were gone for good
i dont want to see you again.
no. thats not true
i want to see you just once
to confront you
to call you an asshole and tell you that youre the reason i am the way i am, guys like you
that guys like you are why im so fucked up and incapeable of being in a realtionship, letting a guy in, or trusting anyone.
and to slap you if you tried to talk or defend yourself with more lies.
ive always just wanted to give a guy a good deserved slap across the face
possibly while having tears in my eyes
and saying something piercingly hurtful that will sting for hours...days....years.
i want you to feel as bad as i feel now.
if i could, id tell you that..what was it?
i cant even stand you, and that you get old after a while.
im sure there were some other choice phrases that i wasnt informed were said
but ill find out eventually
im done with you.
youre dead to me.
dead.
why i dont have a boyfriend.
and what possible reason i could have for never really having one previously.
at the time you had brought up my insanely high standards
and what you thought was a fear that all guys were just trying to get some.
you made me live in my head all night and all day, just rethinking everything
trying to come up with an answer
i established that it could possibly i fall for taken guys because then i dont have to be afraid of being hurt, because as much as id like to pretend that i had a chance, in reality, and deep down, totally dont have a chance in hell.
and i also established that i possibly set incredibly high standards and compare all possible guys to the taken ones i so longed for. i set these standards so that i didnt have to worry about anyone actually meeting them, thus also making it impossible to get hurt.
and i proved this theory actually when going out with matt
the entire time i suspected alterior motives
i always accused him of trying to play me and not being geniune.
im sure now that he wasnt and geniunely liked me
but whatev it doesnt matter all too much cuz i wasnt entirely interested anyways.
but going back to the question of the night.
you asked me why i didnt have a boyfriend now
well...to put it simply, its because of guys like you.
my biggest fear is trusting someone, and then finding out i was getting played
that it was all a joke
hence why i think any guy that likes me is pretending either on a bet or just to see if they can get me or with me or whatever.
i dont trust people easily
i am always scared they will turn, talk behind my back, take my trust and use it for evil instead of good.
i always have had this problem
without really having anything to base it on
sort of
ive always been on the receiving end of the 'i dont want you talking to/being friends with her anymore', and they always cave and fucking bend to the stupid bitches every crazy whim. :/
but ive always just had this intense fear that the guys intentions are bad and that i will end up being hurt and played and used.
and congratulations,
i never really had anything to base that fear on before
and you just proved my point
you talked shit behind my back, played me
you even made me feel like shit and fucked with my head about why i never go out with people that like me
i was actually starting to think maybe your right, maybe i should just give people a chance
and worry about being screwed over later, but enjoy it at the time.
thanks. thanks alot.
i dont want to hear from you again.
im glad youre gonna be gone for a few days
i wish you were gone for good
i dont want to see you again.
no. thats not true
i want to see you just once
to confront you
to call you an asshole and tell you that youre the reason i am the way i am, guys like you
that guys like you are why im so fucked up and incapeable of being in a realtionship, letting a guy in, or trusting anyone.
and to slap you if you tried to talk or defend yourself with more lies.
ive always just wanted to give a guy a good deserved slap across the face
possibly while having tears in my eyes
and saying something piercingly hurtful that will sting for hours...days....years.
i want you to feel as bad as i feel now.
if i could, id tell you that..what was it?
i cant even stand you, and that you get old after a while.
im sure there were some other choice phrases that i wasnt informed were said
but ill find out eventually
im done with you.
youre dead to me.
dead.