"so, belle, what'll it be? is it yes or is it oh yes!"
just a quote from the musical; perhaps my favorite line or one of my many favorites.
today was another wonderful day. i just hope that i dont get use to it. i know that right when you start getting use to it always being great, that is right when it all comes crashing down. i can be happy but just not too happy. lol.
well, i guess that today i will tell you what i was so excited about in my last entry. i have a date to winter formal! isnt that cool? i thought it was. and some people on here might be suprised about who it is...others wont. okay, it is richey or gaston from the musical. he is new this year and i see him a ton. he is in musical with us, of course, and he also goes to my church and youth group. it is nice getting to see a nice guy like that a ton. i also found out today that he likes me, so that is pretty flippin sweet! things are looking up...but im still worried. i told him that i really didnt want to date right now, that i dont really want to date anyone right now and he was fine with it. but what about later. plus, if him and i started dating i would be his first girl friend. never a good idea in my book. i dont know why...it just isnt. but i do like him and would like to get to know him better. so things are pretty wonderful right now. even though this afternoon at musical practice, i about killed a couple of sopranos. "if you cant sing the high note...dont!" i was so close. i just had to stop singing and try to calm down bc i about turned around and told them to shut up. i think the cast might have a pretty good idea of who i am talking about. no names need to be mentioned.
pretty good day overall.
poem:
i wish
i wish so hard
so hard that...
that it is hard to take
hard to understand
just hard
i think
i think so much
so much that...
i cant stand it
you are always on my mind
you always return
the memory of you is always there
always reminding me
always
it never backs off
never dies down
always full-force
always that way
cant you take a break sometimes?
every now and again?
no, you cant
you have to stay there
you must stay there
always haunting me
making decisions for me
telling me what to do, how to do it
cant you quit?
cant you stop?
appearently not
never have stopped
and...
doesnt look like it will happen anytime soon
ill sit here and suffer
while
you laugh and enjoy
enjoy the pain that you cause me
enjoy
it wont last much longer
things seem to be turning around
and not for you
but for me
turning around
you dont do it on purpose but...
it hurts
it seems like you do
seems like it
you dont mean it
but it feels that way
i can feel the taunts coming from inside me everyday
coming from my heart all the time
it makes me ache
i ache for you
i still feel for you
i like you
and i still dont know what to do
what to do about all of this
all this pain
all this heartache
just move on?
too hard
too complicated
too right
i dont want to
i cant
im weighed down
down by the memories
theyre still there
and so is a part of you
on the spot poem...kind of feel this way...maybe not so much. i exaggerate my poems. i dont feel that bad right now...it just adds to it.
today was another wonderful day. i just hope that i dont get use to it. i know that right when you start getting use to it always being great, that is right when it all comes crashing down. i can be happy but just not too happy. lol.
well, i guess that today i will tell you what i was so excited about in my last entry. i have a date to winter formal! isnt that cool? i thought it was. and some people on here might be suprised about who it is...others wont. okay, it is richey or gaston from the musical. he is new this year and i see him a ton. he is in musical with us, of course, and he also goes to my church and youth group. it is nice getting to see a nice guy like that a ton. i also found out today that he likes me, so that is pretty flippin sweet! things are looking up...but im still worried. i told him that i really didnt want to date right now, that i dont really want to date anyone right now and he was fine with it. but what about later. plus, if him and i started dating i would be his first girl friend. never a good idea in my book. i dont know why...it just isnt. but i do like him and would like to get to know him better. so things are pretty wonderful right now. even though this afternoon at musical practice, i about killed a couple of sopranos. "if you cant sing the high note...dont!" i was so close. i just had to stop singing and try to calm down bc i about turned around and told them to shut up. i think the cast might have a pretty good idea of who i am talking about. no names need to be mentioned.
pretty good day overall.
poem:
i wish
i wish so hard
so hard that...
that it is hard to take
hard to understand
just hard
i think
i think so much
so much that...
i cant stand it
you are always on my mind
you always return
the memory of you is always there
always reminding me
always
it never backs off
never dies down
always full-force
always that way
cant you take a break sometimes?
every now and again?
no, you cant
you have to stay there
you must stay there
always haunting me
making decisions for me
telling me what to do, how to do it
cant you quit?
cant you stop?
appearently not
never have stopped
and...
doesnt look like it will happen anytime soon
ill sit here and suffer
while
you laugh and enjoy
enjoy the pain that you cause me
enjoy
it wont last much longer
things seem to be turning around
and not for you
but for me
turning around
you dont do it on purpose but...
it hurts
it seems like you do
seems like it
you dont mean it
but it feels that way
i can feel the taunts coming from inside me everyday
coming from my heart all the time
it makes me ache
i ache for you
i still feel for you
i like you
and i still dont know what to do
what to do about all of this
all this pain
all this heartache
just move on?
too hard
too complicated
too right
i dont want to
i cant
im weighed down
down by the memories
theyre still there
and so is a part of you
on the spot poem...kind of feel this way...maybe not so much. i exaggerate my poems. i dont feel that bad right now...it just adds to it.