please dont comment

[killed_the_soul]

well life still sucks ass.. nothing good still depressed... today i realized how much i missed haveing soemone to call when i got home from work just to talk to... some one to call and cry to... other then a friend... some one that is gunna be home someone you just call you know will be there and wants to hear you and holds you in there mind when you cry... its so different calling friends then someone else you know... im not saying a boy friend but some thing you know... i was walking today... i was witha bunch of people.... joelle richie kristen joey and mike, and i was walkign by my self. i wanted to they didnt leave me or anything and i just walked i didnt think about anything i was just so... i duno... i didnt think and it was nice... i hate it though i felt so bad... i just needed/ wanted a big hug and a kis from soemone who really cares about me... i know if joelle knew she'd run right up to me and hug me and kiss me on the cheek but thats just not what i really wanted i wanted him to come up from behind and and put his arms around me... but what ever right?

im so mad at my brother for many many reasons... i wont get into them i told soem good friends but i dont want the fuckign world to know so...

my mom and brother both freaked out on me this morning my mom real bad though its like 7 in the morning on my way to work and my mom lays into me i couldnt stop crying everytime i talked i started to cry... so it took me a while to acctualy get in the building but what ever right?

im going to bed... maybe ill get soem sleep for once... prolly not a wet pillow is not the best to sleep in.. and the head ach in the morning is killer