Please answer. I need to know. I need to understand.
Blah I feel like shit.
My stomach is all kinds of fucked up.
The 27th of October would have been Zach and Katy's one year anni.
I miss her.
I know I shouldn't because we're not friends and she pissed me off a lot and vice versa...but I just miss the way things were those first 6 months.
She was awesome.
And so was I.
I don't know what the fuck happened.
I just feel like everything is so fucked up.
Whether anyone else admits it nothing will ever be the same in our lives.
There will always be that void.
We were so close.
And yet so far apart.
It just makes me sad thinking about what could have been if we all had gotten our shit together and just helped eachother through being fucked up.
I think we could have.
I miss Mandy and Dave sometimes too.
I wonder why I fucked it all up.
I wonder why the blame was pinned soley on me.
Everyone was so mean about Dave and Mandy going out.
And everyone was so mean about Zach and Katy having problems.
Mostly mean towards Katy.
And I mean everyone.
Me, Steve, Mandy, Dave, Zach and even Mindy or Katy now and then.
I'm not trying to point fingers to shift the hate any I am just making what I believe to be a valid a point.
We all made jokes and we all told secrets and we all laughed at other's expense.
Zach was the one who made the mistake.
He told the secret.
Yet Dave still wanted to talk to him.
Everything I have said everyone else has said.
The night Mandy and Zach got in the fight Steve was with Zach in the car on the way to Wawa making fun of the fact that Mandy shaves her stomach.
I did it.
I AM FUCKED.
Why???
Why am I the one getting the bullshit??
If talking shit is the reason why then no one should be friends with eachother.
I don't know how many times Steve made fun of Dave and Mandy.
I don't know how many times they made fun of Steve.
I mean seriously.
Zach spreads rumor or truth or whatever about Dave cheating on Mandy.
Does he get any shit?
No.
I DO.
Dave goes and fucks around with Jo Ann knowing that Steve really likes her.
They stop being friends for like a day or more maybe.
Zach does it.
HES THE BEAST.
Mandy didn't care when Dave did it to Steve.
She said it was wrong but later said oh well Steve is an asshole anyway.
What in the hell?
Me, Steve and Dave all made fun of Katy going off towards the end of she and Zach's relationship.
Why do I get the fucking butt end of it all?
I have some serious issues regarding peoples personal and private lives.
I want to know everything everyone really thinks.
And when I hear it I get really upset, angry and hurt.
I know it will hurt me and them but I do it anyway.
We all do.
Why?
I'm posting this publicly and I expect to be told off.
But I need to know.
Why was I singled out and when everyone else knew that others were doing and saying the same fucking bullshit?????
My stomach is all kinds of fucked up.
The 27th of October would have been Zach and Katy's one year anni.
I miss her.
I know I shouldn't because we're not friends and she pissed me off a lot and vice versa...but I just miss the way things were those first 6 months.
She was awesome.
And so was I.
I don't know what the fuck happened.
I just feel like everything is so fucked up.
Whether anyone else admits it nothing will ever be the same in our lives.
There will always be that void.
We were so close.
And yet so far apart.
It just makes me sad thinking about what could have been if we all had gotten our shit together and just helped eachother through being fucked up.
I think we could have.
I miss Mandy and Dave sometimes too.
I wonder why I fucked it all up.
I wonder why the blame was pinned soley on me.
Everyone was so mean about Dave and Mandy going out.
And everyone was so mean about Zach and Katy having problems.
Mostly mean towards Katy.
And I mean everyone.
Me, Steve, Mandy, Dave, Zach and even Mindy or Katy now and then.
I'm not trying to point fingers to shift the hate any I am just making what I believe to be a valid a point.
We all made jokes and we all told secrets and we all laughed at other's expense.
Zach was the one who made the mistake.
He told the secret.
Yet Dave still wanted to talk to him.
Everything I have said everyone else has said.
The night Mandy and Zach got in the fight Steve was with Zach in the car on the way to Wawa making fun of the fact that Mandy shaves her stomach.
I did it.
I AM FUCKED.
Why???
Why am I the one getting the bullshit??
If talking shit is the reason why then no one should be friends with eachother.
I don't know how many times Steve made fun of Dave and Mandy.
I don't know how many times they made fun of Steve.
I mean seriously.
Zach spreads rumor or truth or whatever about Dave cheating on Mandy.
Does he get any shit?
No.
I DO.
Dave goes and fucks around with Jo Ann knowing that Steve really likes her.
They stop being friends for like a day or more maybe.
Zach does it.
HES THE BEAST.
Mandy didn't care when Dave did it to Steve.
She said it was wrong but later said oh well Steve is an asshole anyway.
What in the hell?
Me, Steve and Dave all made fun of Katy going off towards the end of she and Zach's relationship.
Why do I get the fucking butt end of it all?
I have some serious issues regarding peoples personal and private lives.
I want to know everything everyone really thinks.
And when I hear it I get really upset, angry and hurt.
I know it will hurt me and them but I do it anyway.
We all do.
Why?
I'm posting this publicly and I expect to be told off.
But I need to know.
Why was I singled out and when everyone else knew that others were doing and saying the same fucking bullshit?????