(no subject)
i can't sleep so i guess ill just write what im thinking about.
i decided that i act out my emotions too soon without thinking. i decided that i'm never going to break up with a guy again. i'm sick of regret and pain. maybe it'll help for someone to break up with me for once. i love how i realize this stuff when its too late. i cant think about anything else. its always on my mind. all of them. always on my mind. for all of them i feel regret. for most of them, i had stupid reasons. and im sick of it. i give up. i'm a terrible person. its easy to tell yourself you've moved on and its easy to pretend. but i cant. its just not happening for me. i tried. i thought i moved on. but lately, i've realized that i haven't. im still at square one. sitting here, waiting for my plane to come. but my plane has crashed right smack dab in the middle of my life and it's blocked my view of everything else. its funny how you can think you're better than you are and then realize that you're just a tiny little bug on the ground, waiting to be stepped on. its seems that your plane took off a long time ago and i was an hour late for departure time. and yet, theres nothing i can do. there wont be another flight. and i wont be going home. i'm just stuck in the middle of nowhere and i have no clue what to do. no clue at all. and i'm so distracted by it all that i can't think of anything to do but sit here and cry. which doesnt get me anywhere. it just makes me worse. but i dont know what else to do. i think i'll just crawl in a box and stay there. sheild myself from the world for a while. and maybe someday, when your flight returns, i'll come out.
...if any of that makes sense. wow, im pathetic. sorry, i cant help it.
<3 Mellissa
i decided that i act out my emotions too soon without thinking. i decided that i'm never going to break up with a guy again. i'm sick of regret and pain. maybe it'll help for someone to break up with me for once. i love how i realize this stuff when its too late. i cant think about anything else. its always on my mind. all of them. always on my mind. for all of them i feel regret. for most of them, i had stupid reasons. and im sick of it. i give up. i'm a terrible person. its easy to tell yourself you've moved on and its easy to pretend. but i cant. its just not happening for me. i tried. i thought i moved on. but lately, i've realized that i haven't. im still at square one. sitting here, waiting for my plane to come. but my plane has crashed right smack dab in the middle of my life and it's blocked my view of everything else. its funny how you can think you're better than you are and then realize that you're just a tiny little bug on the ground, waiting to be stepped on. its seems that your plane took off a long time ago and i was an hour late for departure time. and yet, theres nothing i can do. there wont be another flight. and i wont be going home. i'm just stuck in the middle of nowhere and i have no clue what to do. no clue at all. and i'm so distracted by it all that i can't think of anything to do but sit here and cry. which doesnt get me anywhere. it just makes me worse. but i dont know what else to do. i think i'll just crawl in a box and stay there. sheild myself from the world for a while. and maybe someday, when your flight returns, i'll come out.
...if any of that makes sense. wow, im pathetic. sorry, i cant help it.
<3 Mellissa