My complaint about Dante, aka why I love internet generators

Mar 30, 2005 17:16

I am writing this letter to persuade you that frotteurism is, at its core, a selfish system that seeks to impose a "glass ceiling" that limits our opportunities for promotions in most jobs. I will persuade you of this by providing a few examples and illustrations of the way in which Dante seeks to resort to underhanded tactics. Let us note first of all that if I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that some of the facts I'm about to present may seem shocking. This they certainly are. However, Dante is stepping over the line when she attempts to treat people like self-indulgent pop psychologists -- way over the line. There is an unpleasant fact, painful to the tender-minded, that one can deduce from the laws of nature. This fact is also conclusively established by direct observation. It is a fact so obvious that rational people have always known it and no one doubted it until Dante and her helots started trying to deny it. The fact to which I am referring states that I shall not argue that Dante's newsgroup postings are an authentic map of her plan to use both overt and covert deceptions to suborn vexatious imbeciles to infiltrate and then dominate and control the mass media. Read them and see for yourself.

Not to belabor the point, but if she thinks that she has her moral compass in tact, then she's sadly mistaken. You should not ask, "Is Dante hoping that the readers of this letter won't see the weakness of her argument relative to mine?", but rather, "What happened to Dante's common sense?". The latter question is the better one to ask, because it is almost funny (but is actually rather scary) to see how far Dante will go to turn our country into a noxious cesspool overrun with scum, disease, and crime. But what, you may ask, does any of that have to do with the theme of this letter, viz., that authority without wisdom is mere noise against the music of eternity? One might as well ask, "Why can't she value a diversity of approaches without needing to rank them as better and worse?" The answer to this question gives the key not only to world history, but to all human culture. I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to establish a supportive -- rather than an intimidating -- atmosphere for offering public comment. And just let her try and stop me.

After hearing about Dante's intellectually challenged attempts to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts, I was saddened. I was saddened that she has lowered herself to this level. It doesn't do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of Dante's subliminal psywar campaigns in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must convince the worst kinds of yawping dolts there are to stop supporting Dante and tolerating her smears. She has a problem not only with civil rights but also with the legal responsibility and accountability as to what is considered appropriate behavior. This is the flaw in her bromides. She doesn't understand that I want to give people more information about Dante, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I certainly hope people draw: The concepts underlying Dante's cruel memoranda are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea -- that the heavens revolve around the Earth -- was wrong, just as Dante's idea that she has mystical powers of divination and prophecy is wrong.

She truly believes that there should be publicly financed centers of corporatism. It is just such fork-tongued megalomania, intrusive, smarmy egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Dante to incite an atmosphere of violence and endangerment toward the good men, women, and children of this state. Given her record of shady dealings, we can say that it is not uncommon for Dante to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole unbalanced affair as some great benefit to humanity. It must be pointed out over and over again to her dupes and, in a broader sense, to gutless windbags that she has convinced a lot of people that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation.

I don't think Dante understands what vigilantism means to all the people it hurts, yet the little I've written so far already buttresses the assertion that Dante throws the word "phytopaleontological" around as if it had the same meaning to everyone. This sort of vertiginous paradox is well known to most churlish, macabre freaks of nature. She would not hesitate to besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures if she felt she could benefit from doing so. I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want Dante to repeat the mistakes of the past, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while Dante claims that the sun rises just for her. I truly maintain that we should transform our culture of war and violence into a culture of peace and nonviolence, and I have formalized my commitment to this high ideal by ensuring that I always uplift individuals and communities on a global scale to convince the government to clamp down hard on her jokes.

Verily, if the people generally are relying on false information sown by chauvinistic, sinful whiners, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. The unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, Dante's secret passion is to make higher education accessible only to those in the higher echelons of society. For shame! I find that some of Dante's choices of words in her half-measures would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted "scornful" for "superphlogistication" and "shallow" for "chlamydobacteriaceae."

If you want to hide something from Dante, you just have to put it in a book. How is it that I knew from the beginning that she would perpetuate misguided and questionable notions of other hostile paper-pushers' intentions? Am I smarter than everyone else? No, not at all. I'll admit that I'm smarter than Dante but that's like saying that I'm smarter than a toad. I knew what Dante would do because I realized that the biggest difference between me and Dante is that Dante wants to replace our timeless traditions with her ethically bankrupt ones. I, on the other hand, want to insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward revanchism.

She condones the flippant jibes that will topple society. Although she would like us to believe that the laws of nature don't apply to her, she has given us neither good reason nor credible evidence to believe that. Her manifestos, on the other hand, give us good reason to believe that the reason she wants to produce nothing but filth is that she's thoroughly frightful. If you believe you have another explanation for her uncouth behavior, then please write and tell me about it. Dante has been doing "in-depth research" (whatever she thinks that means) to prove that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. I should mention that I've been doing some research of my own. So far, I've "discovered" that Dante's favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that she wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to give parents the means to protect their children. I must emphasize that her janissaries are unified under a common goal. That goal is to understate the negative impact of ageism.

Imagine a world in which Dante could remove society's moral barriers and allow perversion to prosper whenever she felt like it. Ladies and gentlemen, she twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. Dante unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what she claims gives her the right to feed blind hatred. Particularly telling is the way that I, for one, will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to change the world for the better.

It is common knowledge that no one likes being attacked by militant calumniators. Even worse, Dante exploits our fear of those attacks -- which she claims will evolve one day into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to spoon-feed us her pabulum. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that Dante's perversions are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive -- even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, few people realize that it is a figment of Dante's runaway imagination that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive. Of that I am certain, because exhibitionism is dangerous. Her unstable version of it is doubly so. Dante asserts that hanging out with what I call money-grubbing, biased misguided-types is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. Most reasonable people, however, recognize such assertions as nothing more than baseless, if wishful, claims unsupported by concrete evidence. You may not understand this now, and I don't fault you for that, but she has spent untold hours trying to threaten national security. During that time, did it ever once occur to her that she always tries to rationalize her drug-induced ravings with compelling gobbledegook about some "greater good"? The most appealing theory has to do with the way that if I try really, really hard, I can almost see why she would want to cheat on taxes. I don't know when denominationalism became chic, but if Dante can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin, I will personally deliver her Nobel Prize for Goofy Rhetoric. In the meantime, Dante's perspective is that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. My perspective, in contrast, is that my concern and outrage are not directed solely at Dante, but at all those who seek to declare martial law, suspend elections, and round up dissidents (i.e., anyone who does not buy Dante's lie that opportunism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions). We can therefore extrapolate that she thinks nothing of violating the spirit of an indigenous people whose art and songs and way of life are proof that even the most rigorous theoretical framework she could put forward would not leave her in the position of generalizing with the certainty to which she is prone in her contrivances. To top that off, the popularity of her antics among sex-crazed profiteers is a harbinger of catty things to come. In reaching that conclusion, I have made the usual assumption that I do not appreciate being labeled. No one does. Nevertheless, Dante is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to her whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Dante is barbarism. Why? Although I haven't been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that Dante believes that she defends the real needs of the working class. That's just wrong. She further believes that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. Wrong again! Dante's blind faith in cynicism leads her only to corruption. And that's all I have to say.

Ah, that was a fun anti-depressant. Pity it didn't contain anything about being a lying, megalomaniacal bitch.
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