February 24th, 1983
Sixteen months, now. Today was a bad day, though I can't pinpoint what started me off. I just know I've been all sad and weepy. It doesn't help that it rained all day today, either. If it had been sunny I might have felt better.
Fabian's things are still in their boxes, stowed away in the closet of the spare rooms upstairs. I need to open them, and deal with the emotions that come with it, but today was not a good day to do that. I know I should have done this before now, but- I couldn't. I can't really put into words what it is I'm feeling, but-
I should also probably give Melisande my congratulations on getting engaged (now that's her, Drem, Aidan and Autumn that I can think of off the top of my head). There's been a lot of talk on it, which I have chosen to stay out of. I know a lot of other people think it's not the best decision she's ever made, but ultimately it is her decision to make and if she's sure this is what she wants, then good for her. I'm half, and I lost my husband, who was pure (not that that was ever a big deal between us). I'm certainly not about to rile someone for wanting someone in their life like Fabian was in mine. Everyone should have a chance at something like that, and I'm really glad she'll get a chance to.
As of two weeks ago, I am officially a homeowner, and it feels really good. I really have missed living in Ireland, as it's been, what.... seven years since I last did on a full-time basis? Eight? Anyway. It's nice to be back. I think. Though I'm sure it will take me a while still to get everything in the house as I want it (and get used to the space this place is nearly twice as big as the house I grew up in). Since the next Kestrels match is not until the third, I will have some time to work on that.
Hard to believe March is around the corner, isn't it?