there
you were again, in my dreams.
i wish i could sleep forever.
i heard you're voice and felt you for the first time in almost a year.
the love we had for eachother within our friendship is the most beautiful thing i have experienced.
A very huge reason of me leaving our town has to do with you. i used to love the convenience of you living right down the street, now my heart breaks everytime i pass your house. If i even try to avoid your house, it just brings me to the place you took your very last breath - which is only worse. the entire town is painted with your face and memories of things we had done. Every street, twist, and turn.. i drown in you nearly everyday. I thought it was getting easier but it was simply a pause in the chaos. i'm not sure if being away from the visual reminders or our town is going to be helpful or not. As much as i hate this throbbing in my chest i love being places you were, it's almost as if i can still feel you, if i'm lucky that day. Atleast when i cry it's because i can see your face on the backs of my eyelids but nowhere else, i'm so fucking scared for the day when i can't remember something you said to me.. Or the day i have to look at a picture to remember what you look like. i never want that to happen. i pour my fucking heart out into this thing since i have talked about it to everyonw who will listen and i am sick of talking ears off. i know its getting old,
THEN WHY THE FUCK IS MISSING YOU NOT?
james my main man, the best companion, the eye into my soul -- i hate you for the pure fact that i was not in the car wth you.
i wish i could sleep forever.
i heard you're voice and felt you for the first time in almost a year.
the love we had for eachother within our friendship is the most beautiful thing i have experienced.
A very huge reason of me leaving our town has to do with you. i used to love the convenience of you living right down the street, now my heart breaks everytime i pass your house. If i even try to avoid your house, it just brings me to the place you took your very last breath - which is only worse. the entire town is painted with your face and memories of things we had done. Every street, twist, and turn.. i drown in you nearly everyday. I thought it was getting easier but it was simply a pause in the chaos. i'm not sure if being away from the visual reminders or our town is going to be helpful or not. As much as i hate this throbbing in my chest i love being places you were, it's almost as if i can still feel you, if i'm lucky that day. Atleast when i cry it's because i can see your face on the backs of my eyelids but nowhere else, i'm so fucking scared for the day when i can't remember something you said to me.. Or the day i have to look at a picture to remember what you look like. i never want that to happen. i pour my fucking heart out into this thing since i have talked about it to everyonw who will listen and i am sick of talking ears off. i know its getting old,
THEN WHY THE FUCK IS MISSING YOU NOT?
james my main man, the best companion, the eye into my soul -- i hate you for the pure fact that i was not in the car wth you.