boy oh boy
i'm almost positive i am not emotionally equipped to deal with anything anymore.
I wish my memory was fresh and I could recount every second that was spent with you, so I could have a constant reel playing in the backs on my eyelids. Although our first encounter isn’t clear, the many other firsts you and I experienced are. That very first time I experienced life at an elevated level was in your car, your crooked smile gleaming back at me the entire time. But goddamn that wasn’t shit compared to the amount of adventures we had ahead of us..
Life lived with you felt as if I could have lived forever.
Im sorry for not taking advantage of every moment I could have now to remember, im sorry for not having more to hold on to. We should have smiled in pictures together more, I should have understood your situation with dana instead of just getting angry with you. I should have came to chuckies that night, I should have remembered how long you were there for me and how long we were planning on being there for each other.. I should have came with to tylers that night because I am so entirely sure that I would have made you come inside that night. Infact I know I would have, or we wouldn’t have left yet because when you and I would get together and there was booze involved it was til 6am. You wouldn’t have had that bottle of jim beam to finish in your car, I would have done it for you and we would have been laughing the entire time. I bet you could have woken up in your bed the next morning too.
i bet you would have woken up, period.
you're 20th birthday is friday, i'm finally getting the "saper" tattoo, on my colar bone - above my heart.. I promised, remember?
I wish my memory was fresh and I could recount every second that was spent with you, so I could have a constant reel playing in the backs on my eyelids. Although our first encounter isn’t clear, the many other firsts you and I experienced are. That very first time I experienced life at an elevated level was in your car, your crooked smile gleaming back at me the entire time. But goddamn that wasn’t shit compared to the amount of adventures we had ahead of us..
Life lived with you felt as if I could have lived forever.
Im sorry for not taking advantage of every moment I could have now to remember, im sorry for not having more to hold on to. We should have smiled in pictures together more, I should have understood your situation with dana instead of just getting angry with you. I should have came to chuckies that night, I should have remembered how long you were there for me and how long we were planning on being there for each other.. I should have came with to tylers that night because I am so entirely sure that I would have made you come inside that night. Infact I know I would have, or we wouldn’t have left yet because when you and I would get together and there was booze involved it was til 6am. You wouldn’t have had that bottle of jim beam to finish in your car, I would have done it for you and we would have been laughing the entire time. I bet you could have woken up in your bed the next morning too.
i bet you would have woken up, period.
you're 20th birthday is friday, i'm finally getting the "saper" tattoo, on my colar bone - above my heart.. I promised, remember?