Envy/Winry, Anti-ship table, "Weaker Than"
Title: Weaker Than
Author: Sofipitch
Disclaimer: Pfft, Fullmetal? Me? Not a chance.
Claim: Anti-Ship Table
Prompt: 9: Jealousy
Characters: Envy/Winry, Truth
Word Count: 724
Rating: PG
Summary/Warning: Spoilers
A/N: I was going to do this in order, but the other fic is trudging along so slowly that I just said, “The hell with this organization crap!”
This is based off of Neofeliss’ artwork, “Edvy”. (I despise that pairing but her work was so inspirational!) And also the song where she got her inspiration: “Human” by Ellie Goulding.
---X---
"Human behave yourself,
you have burst at the seams
let it all fall out open your mouth
often I lie wide awake,
think of things I can make
but I don’t seem to have the parts to build them
Human I wonder why you’re a better make than I could ever build or create,
you know not love or hate
I am so scared of what will kill me in the end for I am not prepared,
I hope I will get the chance to be someone,
to be human,
look what we’ve done,
look what we’ve done
I would give my life, to be human
I would give my life, to be human
I would give my life, to be human
I would give my life, to be."
- Ellie Goulding, Human.
There were times late at night when she was fast asleep and he had yet to get there, that he would stare at her in wonder. There were things about her that could, in some ways, be similar to his life. She barely had any immediate family family members, her Grandmother being the only person in her life she was related to by blood. And her Grandmother was the only person she knew for sure loved her. She had the Elric brothers, boys she had grown up with and known her entire life, but they were so busy with their quest; they didn’t pay and attention or show much concern for her. He knew they cared and she knew, but he also knew that there were times when she doubted wether they really did. It’s rubbish thoughts, but separation and loneliness can drive one’s mind to such extremes.
She wasn’t exactly like him, but she was lonely and she understood him. And as he ran his fingers through her silky blonde, almost white, hair he knew there were more reasons to why he loved her, but he knew not many off the very top of his head. Only one really shone out above all the rest of her giggles and smiles and that was that she had been the first to accept him.
It was a miracle to him, he hadn’t known humans could be that way: accepting. He had always seen them as such tiny, weak, scared creatures. And maybe that was due to the fact that he had never put much effort into trying to get to know them or find the rose amongst all the weeds. Her kindness had surprised him, and her strength even more so.
When it came down to those final last moments when he decided that he didn’t want to live alone anymore and that his fighting was useless and the only reason Fullmetal had saved him was because they would debate on who else would kill him, there was something, very small at the back of his mind that had nagged at him. He didn’t pay much attention to it, he was too caught up in the pain of his core and life source being torn from him, vein by vein snapping and pouring red liquid philosopher’s stone which had been holding, around him. But that voice asked him why he had to be so weak as to take his own life. If he had wanted to use the excuse that he had no one who loved him, that was invalid, someone had: Winry. There was someone he could possibly return to. His counter argument was that he wouldn’t be returning to her, they would kill him, so he might as well take his own life before letting that fool of a man take his. But even to him, that had sounded like an excuse. Just moments before he was to be present in front of the gates of truth, he wondered if in the end he had had been weaker, more useless than a small little insignificant mechanic from Risebool.
He was weaker than a human, in more ways than one, in the end. He didn’t have enough time to be angry about it though. He had never been very important in the first place. Father had made sure to assure him of that.
(Truth clicked his tongue and sighed, but in the end let him pass to a happier place beyond the gate. Envy hadn’t believed that he would let him pass, with all the wrongs he’d committed. Truth simply said that there was only one homunculus to blame for this mess, and he had yet to arrive. Envy wondered if the voice in his mind that had tried to reason him way from taking his life had been Truth, but he had never found the courage to ask. He didn’t allow himself the luxury of believing that he was important enough for Truth’s consideration. So he simply focused on what awaited him next, as the image and love Winry had given him fell heavy on his heart.
(If she would miss him he did not know, all he knew was that she had accepted him, and nearly saved him. But in more ways than one, he had only managed to let her down.)