My First Day
So it was my first day working at the pawn shop. Apparently they thought I'd be good on the register so they stuck me there while they hung out in the break room. Those assholes didn't even train me. Great, now I gotta figure everything out on my own.
I'm looking at the register system and it looks like a damn computer. Is that a CD disc drive? It doesn't even look like it can ring up sales. I tried pushing the buttons on the screen and they didn't even respond..piece of shit. I hate this job already.
First customer of the day..whoopie.
'What's up, man. What can I do for ya.'
'Yaaa, umm, I bought this from ya and I don't know what it is.'
'Aaand you bought it willingly?'
I grabbed it from him and inspected it. It didn't look anything like I thought it would, cause it didn't look like anything at all.
'What's it supposed to do?'
'I dunno, I bought it from you. You tell me.'
Siiigh 'Ok, sir, give me the receipt and I'll hook you up with a refund.'
He handed me the receipt and it read that he paid $72.05 for the item. Wow..is he not fully retarded?
I'm looking up and down trying to figure out how to open this damn machine. I try again with the touch screen technique..nothing. Looking around for a keyboard or secret switch that will blow this store up..nothing. A line was forming behind this guy. I smacked the computer in frustration.
'Hey, bro, I don't have all day.'
'Ya, I know the feeling.'
I turned around and yelled to the guys through the glass door. Evidently they closed it during my business with the customer.
'Hey, can I get some help over here? This damn register is on the fritz or somethin!'
One of the guys with his hair just past his shoulders came out. This guy was a royal prick. I don't think he likes me.
'What do ya want.'
'Um, show me how to get this guy his money back.'
'It's not locked.'
He closes the door and leaves me to figure out what the hell that means. I looked up and noticed the guy and the line disappeared which was really weird seeing as it was at least three people long like two seconds ago. I was still holding that guys receipt and he wasn't here to claim the money..sucks to be him. I looked to where the cash drawer would be and the closest thing would be that disc drive. There were two buttons for two disc drives. I pushed the button on top and nothing happened. Pushed the button on the bottom and BINGO got it open.
I noticed in my upper peripherals a man walking to the right in front of the register. I wouldn't have minded it if I didn't notice him eyeing me..weirdo. I grabbed a fifty, a twenty, two ones and left the coinage and stuffed 'em in my pocket..cha-ching.
The man reared around the edge of the counter. His left hand was reaching across his stomach touching the handle of something..not good..very not good. I went the other direction to put some distance between us, but he didn't allow too much. He pulled out of his sweat pants what appeared to be a sword. The casing was still on it and he just threw the whole thing in my direction. confused..I ran to the sword and grabbed it immediately.
Not thinking to take off the cover, I held it towards him and told him to get the hell out. He had other plans. He pulled out a machete and whispered 'En guarde.' while I whispered 'oh shit.' He sliced the air to the right and then to the left as I blocked them. I looked at my sword and still haven't taken the casing off..I must be damned retarded. I swung the sword swiftly and flung the casing off in one attempt. He came down again from above and I knocked it clear out of his hands.
I grabbed that and ran to the break room door. I threw the machete hard at the glass and shattered it.
'I think we may have a problem here! Call 911!'
I heard the prick say something but wasn't paying attention. I turned around and saw the guy pulling out shurikens. Geez, what is this guys malfunction. The door opened as the guy threw it. I dove behind the register.
'What the fu-'
PERFECT. The blade flew right into his poor pathetic face. He stood there for a second before his body folded in at his knees. I admit it..I snickered. Another guy poked his head out..a little more cautiously this time.
'Aw, not again. Hey, get this guy outta here.'
He closed the door and left me to this crazy lunatic. I looked desperately under the counter for some sort of firearm. For once this store has not let me down..for I have found it. It was a small derringer. Not powerful enough to take on the world, but big enough to take down a psychotic madman who likes sharp objects.
I poked my head up to locate him just in time to see one of the shurikens land in front of my face on the counter. I got up fast..pistol first. He reached into his pocket..probably for another blade of some sort.
'Hey! Put your hands up. I'm not afraid to kill you. The cops are coming and there's no point in tryin to fight me anymore. Game over, buddy. Hands up..NOW!'
He whispered 'Tes jeu est au delà de.'
His arm still in his jacket inside pocket, he pulled out a grenade. Wow..he just doesn't quit. He brought it to his mouth, bit out the pin and held his arms high.
'Au revoir'
So..he's as good as dead, the stores gonna blow up and I hate this job and everyone that works/worked here. I've made a profit of $72 within the hour of working here. I don't see too much of a future for me here, so I told him 'merci beaucoup' and ran for the door.
I barely had time to get outside as the grenade blew up. The glass shattered as I dove into the street. I waited until the debris fell and got up. My ears were ringing and my hair was a mess. Everyone ran to the scene like pigs to their feed. I calmly walked away, debating what DVDs I should buy with my money.