long update, things that need to be said

[kill_his_kiss]

so i have a little while longer
till i get my results for sure
hopefully it isnt a tumor
and if it is
it will completely change my life

the months seem as if they're flying by so quickly
and with those months i see my life going with them
i mean
what am i going to do with my life
its the age old question
i thought i would never say this
but i miss highschool
i miss all my friends who i will never speak to again
and if i do see them its only for a few minutes
graduating was such an accomplishment
just
now what

i've been looking for a job
since my junior year of high school
still havent found one
its either because im slacking
or i just dont want to grow up
i run these two ideas through my head constantly
i still havent chose one

i feel as if ive lost a bestfriend
its the worse feeling in the entire world
we dont hang out as much as we used to
maybe we're growing apart
maybe we're not making enough time for each other
either way
something needs to change

there's one kid who i miss the most
i wish we were closer
and i wish we could smoke cigarettes like we used to
in his garage while we sat on the exercise equipment
just talking about nothing for hours

i dont know
it's tough
ill be 19 this year i need to get my ass in gear
and do something with my life
or atleast start