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[kill]

Sometime during the holiday my back went out pretty bad. I was very stir-crazy yesterday and felt vaguely okay, so Matt and I went out to go to the grocery store and the library. I was driving and I turned down a bad street and we got stuck in the snow. An awesome Good Samaritan neighbor heard our tires spinning and drove over with his Jeep and

Comments

[starrynytes4me]

Don't give up partly because there is nothing much to give up TO. It takes years of appeals to get on disability, which pays about $800 a month at best usually all told.

Get the fusion. If I could possibly just DO the freaking fusion first I would. I've seen all of the easier surgeries my Mom had on her back fail and the fusion start to put her life back together and get her functionality to return. She (like many other back patients) feels like laminectomy/discectomy are a waste of time and money. I mean, sure, they help a little short term but my Mom's been better for 7 years since her fusion. No other back surgery helped for more than a year.

Anyhow, people who think you are selfish don't understand inescapable nerve pain. Your body is sending every signal that it is an emergency to your brain. It isn't something you can ignore to focus on gaza. You are under the influence of pain, but that is not who you are. You are still the same caring person, but when the pain is at the worst you are simply existing under that heavy burden, awaiting the ability to return 100% you. You are not becoming the pain, and don't forget it.

[kill]

Thank you for your kind reply. I know you know what it is like to feel like you are so stuck and like you are panicking.

I have to make sure my new insurance will do the fusion. I'm hoping that my surgeon is covered under it. I had no choice but to change insurances because of the downsizing my company did. I think that is part of what makes me feel so uncertain and freaked out.

I'm glad to hear that your Mom's surgery worked. That is good to know.

Thank you again. :)

[starrynytes4me]

Wow, I totally understand about the insurance.

My Mom recommends having a neurosurgeon if possible (her words) and NOT an Orthopedic surgeon. I do pray and I'll be praying for you. I get really scared I'll lose my job because we have layoffs and the pain makes me less reliable and positive than I could be otherwise. I can't imagine trying to do school on top of it.

[kill]

Yeah, a neurosurgeon did my last two surgeries. I have been really happy with her. She comes very highly recommended.