(no subject)
Eh. Things have been going downhill for me in the nanny job. I don't like it anymore. The kids are whiney, irresponsible, and have serious complexes and illusions about what life in the real world is really like and what their lives as adults are going to be like. The 14 year old thinks she's going to become the next Christina Aguliera without ever practicing her singing and has decided that she's going to move to Malibu and go to parties with P. Diddy's kids after she graduates from high school. This is her plan for how she's going to become a singer; she doesn't want to go to college. She talks all the time about how she likes to go really fast in the car and is such a "party girl" and how "everyone" has sex with senior boys when they're freshmen. Her mother does not talk to her about any of these things. The 12 year old does not do her homework and is struggling in school for the first time (she is very disorganized and is not used to keeping track of her own shit), which apparently is because I don't get dinner ready early enough. The girls go to bed at 11:30 on school nights and have no consequences for anything they do. When I'm not doing EXACTLY what the mother wants, she likes to remind me how little I do (which is pretty funny, considering the fact that I do everyone's laundry, cook dinner every night, pick the girls up from school, take out the trash, do the dishes, pick up the common areas of the house, clean the girls' rooms, and make the beds every morning). No one ever asks me how my day was, or what's going on, or how I'm feeling. No one even says goodbye when they leave the house and I'm still there. All of this makes me feel like a tool that the mother uses so she can spend more of her own time doing whatever makes her feel good. I think I want to quit.
Aroot has offered the spare room in her apartment in return for housekeeping and "whatever money I can give her," and I think I'm going to do it. I'm giving myself the weekend to weigh my options and think about what losing free housing would mean for me, but I think I'm going to end up deciding that it's worth it. I want to live somewhere where I'm treated like a human being and not like "the help." I want to live in a place where I'll feel comfortable going to the kitchen to eat something and won't be tempted to live on coffee. I suppose that I can find other childcare and school-related positions to help me earn some money. I've applied for several long-term subbing positions and could even do per diem subbing as a source of income. It's do-able, and I think I'd be a lot happier. Aroot said something that I find myself repeating in my head: "What do we have but to be happy?" I think she's right. If I have the chance to be happy, why don't I just go for it? She's offered me a place to live with only financial obligations that I can handle and a chance to live with someone who will appreciate me. It sucks that things are so rocky this year. I really thought that I would be able to find a teaching position and would be so, so happy right now...I really thought everything would work out just fine. Instead, I'm wandering around trying to find a place to settle. I hope 2008 is better.
Aroot has offered the spare room in her apartment in return for housekeeping and "whatever money I can give her," and I think I'm going to do it. I'm giving myself the weekend to weigh my options and think about what losing free housing would mean for me, but I think I'm going to end up deciding that it's worth it. I want to live somewhere where I'm treated like a human being and not like "the help." I want to live in a place where I'll feel comfortable going to the kitchen to eat something and won't be tempted to live on coffee. I suppose that I can find other childcare and school-related positions to help me earn some money. I've applied for several long-term subbing positions and could even do per diem subbing as a source of income. It's do-able, and I think I'd be a lot happier. Aroot said something that I find myself repeating in my head: "What do we have but to be happy?" I think she's right. If I have the chance to be happy, why don't I just go for it? She's offered me a place to live with only financial obligations that I can handle and a chance to live with someone who will appreciate me. It sucks that things are so rocky this year. I really thought that I would be able to find a teaching position and would be so, so happy right now...I really thought everything would work out just fine. Instead, I'm wandering around trying to find a place to settle. I hope 2008 is better.