Here's how I'm really doing...
I think I'm losing it slowly.
I'm not doing as well as I should be I feel. I was in the denial stage for a while and I think I've hit the anger part. My anger is coming out in a lot of negative ways - remember FMA? Think that and you're getting close. I'm surrounding myself with my friends, and while I love being with them I still am feeling so empty inside. I started snapping at people I love and for that I feel like shit.
It's not helping that I can't see my boyfriend as often as I'd like too. Long distance is hard, harder then I'd ever imagine. Not so much hard on us in the relationship sense, but not being able to touch him or kiss him or sleep next to him... GA was wonderful and made me realize how much I like being in a relationship where I'm the one being held and not the other way around. I can finally be female, which let me tell you is quite scary for me. I mean for fucksake I'm getting upset when I break a nail. This is so new to me. I think I was kinda stuck in the guy persona for so long I forgot what it was like to be female. I can finally call myself a woman and not want to laugh or cringe. Maybe this is part of growing up.
For those who don't know, a tree crashed into my roof on Saturday. Here was my reaction: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I laughed for so long and so loud, but midnight my face hurt from smiling. I live in this house, but I don't own it, therefore it's not my problem. Now my roof is brand new, so the damage wasn't astronomical. However it did tear off shingles and the drain pipe, and ripped up the brand new vinyl siding. HAHAHAHA! The woman who owns the tree took pictures saying that the tree was deliberately cut and that's how it fell. Sure lady, keep dreaming. Look at the splintering on the tree, if it was cut it would be smooth, not broken into a million pieces. Time to call the insurance company.
I've been sick for the past week, I think it's a cold, but I have a fever so it makes me think 'flu'. I want to get better. I'm tired of being sick. I'm just generally tired, and next week my life becomes nothing but work. I have to work massive amounts of overtime, seeing how my boss in going to be in VT for the week because basically corporate screwed us... right before a holiday week as well.
Ben, the 18th I work until 6. So I can be at your place by 6:30. I can get there directly after work. And seeing as how I don't think anyone else knows where you live, people contact me and we can arrange a meeting spot where anyone who needs too can follow me to the house. Oh and Ben, do you mind if I bring a guest?
I'm not doing as well as I should be I feel. I was in the denial stage for a while and I think I've hit the anger part. My anger is coming out in a lot of negative ways - remember FMA? Think that and you're getting close. I'm surrounding myself with my friends, and while I love being with them I still am feeling so empty inside. I started snapping at people I love and for that I feel like shit.
It's not helping that I can't see my boyfriend as often as I'd like too. Long distance is hard, harder then I'd ever imagine. Not so much hard on us in the relationship sense, but not being able to touch him or kiss him or sleep next to him... GA was wonderful and made me realize how much I like being in a relationship where I'm the one being held and not the other way around. I can finally be female, which let me tell you is quite scary for me. I mean for fucksake I'm getting upset when I break a nail. This is so new to me. I think I was kinda stuck in the guy persona for so long I forgot what it was like to be female. I can finally call myself a woman and not want to laugh or cringe. Maybe this is part of growing up.
For those who don't know, a tree crashed into my roof on Saturday. Here was my reaction: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I laughed for so long and so loud, but midnight my face hurt from smiling. I live in this house, but I don't own it, therefore it's not my problem. Now my roof is brand new, so the damage wasn't astronomical. However it did tear off shingles and the drain pipe, and ripped up the brand new vinyl siding. HAHAHAHA! The woman who owns the tree took pictures saying that the tree was deliberately cut and that's how it fell. Sure lady, keep dreaming. Look at the splintering on the tree, if it was cut it would be smooth, not broken into a million pieces. Time to call the insurance company.
I've been sick for the past week, I think it's a cold, but I have a fever so it makes me think 'flu'. I want to get better. I'm tired of being sick. I'm just generally tired, and next week my life becomes nothing but work. I have to work massive amounts of overtime, seeing how my boss in going to be in VT for the week because basically corporate screwed us... right before a holiday week as well.
Ben, the 18th I work until 6. So I can be at your place by 6:30. I can get there directly after work. And seeing as how I don't think anyone else knows where you live, people contact me and we can arrange a meeting spot where anyone who needs too can follow me to the house. Oh and Ben, do you mind if I bring a guest?