Anxiety
I noticed that I've been feeling really anxious recently. I have trouble sleeping. I wake up with a migrane type of headache almost every morning, and I noticed that I clench my teeth at night. I know this anxiety is due to school. I only have 13 credit hours this semester so I should be fine, but no.
It makes me feel like such a loser. My classmates work (some fulltime) and go to school fulltime. How the heck will I be able to manage when I have a child to take care of on top of everything else? That's my problem precisely; time management. That, and not being able to concentrate. Normally if I was in this situation, I'd take Adderall to help me concentrate. This semester, I can't. I have a baby growing inside of me and I'd much rather push through this semester somehow than harm him. It's just difficult right now and I needed to vent.
As I sit here thinking, I realize that I'm so anxious I worry about all of my words and actions being "wrong" somehow. For example, I just called Hassan a little while ago. I knew he was at work but didn't think he'd pick up his phone if he was busy. Well, my question for him was related to his work anyway, but I still worry that he could have gotten in trouble and that he could be mad at me for calling. I can't just let things go. I worry too much. Heck, I worry that my homework isn't perfect. I worry that my opinions are wrong. Yet, I know there are no wrong opinions!
*sigh* I'd like to go relax, but guess what? Duty calls! I haven't even touched my online course this week and I'm sure there's plenty of reading/listening to do.
It makes me feel like such a loser. My classmates work (some fulltime) and go to school fulltime. How the heck will I be able to manage when I have a child to take care of on top of everything else? That's my problem precisely; time management. That, and not being able to concentrate. Normally if I was in this situation, I'd take Adderall to help me concentrate. This semester, I can't. I have a baby growing inside of me and I'd much rather push through this semester somehow than harm him. It's just difficult right now and I needed to vent.
As I sit here thinking, I realize that I'm so anxious I worry about all of my words and actions being "wrong" somehow. For example, I just called Hassan a little while ago. I knew he was at work but didn't think he'd pick up his phone if he was busy. Well, my question for him was related to his work anyway, but I still worry that he could have gotten in trouble and that he could be mad at me for calling. I can't just let things go. I worry too much. Heck, I worry that my homework isn't perfect. I worry that my opinions are wrong. Yet, I know there are no wrong opinions!
*sigh* I'd like to go relax, but guess what? Duty calls! I haven't even touched my online course this week and I'm sure there's plenty of reading/listening to do.