Back from like my unplanned one week hiatus?????

[kikutiirose]

okay dot points again because i don't know i like dot points???
NOTE: A LOT OF RANTING ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS
[emi's life update]

• okay can i start off by asking why people are so insecure about not having "a best friend"
• i've never had a best friend and most likely never will because of my personality lol
• also omg yeah okay so remember when i posted about "Kimi ni HITOMEBORE"
• yeah okay i'm kinda mad
• and i'm not buying that shit
• i don't care about those cards
• i bought daneba because i thought the three thing would like dissappear
• but like it didn't and i want my life back thanks
• back to the best friend thing
• like why do people feel the need to act like my best friend???
• umm no??? we're friends not best friends??? we've literally known each other for a month???
• okay this happens with a lot of people
• actually why do my friends try and become friends with my other friends???
• like it's fine if you want to be friends with my friends
• but like i was having a good conversation okay can you not distrupt it with your need to be the center of attention i have literally not seen this kid in months and you have to have us explain all our old inside jokes/stories because why???
• you had like friends else where can you not let us catch up
• can you leave thanks
• why are you so thirsty??????
• OKAY WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SO THIRSTY???????
• i'm so confused
• just because my friend is a boy you feel the need to act differently??? like what are you? 12? 11? 9? 8????????????
• also feelings because everyone else is moving on with their life and all i can do is rant about everything
• also can we talk about annoying feminists
• okay so i saw on tumblr someone complaining about the phrase "skinny bitches" in that song that's not annaconda
• anyway they were like it's bad because it implies that all skinny people are bitches???
• WHAT THE FUCK???
• "oh look, a rotten apple"
• DOES THAT STATEMENT MAKE ALL APPLES ROTTEN?
• okay i just realised [in b4]
• annoying feminists will think that by saying "annoying feminists"
• i'm implying that all feminists are annoying
• no i'm just specifying the type of feminist
• also why am i able to basically read people's actions
• like other people are so blind
• like i state the obvious then people look at me if i'm weird
• but then nek minut
• i'm right and everyone else is like "I TOLD YOU"
• and i'm like calm your shit thanks
• i think i procrastinate being happy
• like i can't be bothered being happy so i'll be happy later???
• i'm so bad
• also the second shokura of this month really annoyed me
• like i know kansai juniors
• but like
• idk
• i just want to go back to like two years ago
• when sexy zone was better than now
• and like johnny's was the shit
• johnny's like turning into the german army in ww2 when they spread their army too thin
• WHY DO PEOPLE WANT TO PRETEND BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH ME??????
• it just makes me really angry because you know it's fake and not real and as soon as someone better comes along that they're going to leave you and good bye
• it's always the same and makes my brain hurt
• i feel like i have MPD but like i'm consciously but uncontrollably swapping personalities?
• and like maybe it's bipolar
• idkkk
• help meee
• i'm like 15
• are you okay emily
• you are like only a 1/6 through your life
• you will be okay emily
• yeah
• do you ever wish you could restart your life because that's me right now
• andandand omggg
• idek anymore
• i'm trying mediation and apparently you're supposed to bring your attention back to breathing when your mind wanders but like
• man
• what happens
• when you can think two things at once
• like right now i'm thinking about typing but i'm also replaying today's events in my head
• like does that still count as meditation if you're thinking about stuf but also thinking about your breathing too or am i doing it wrong
• can my brain just refresh itself thanks
• because like i feel like my thoughts are polluted with a lot of things
• maybe i'll just watch a drama or something to clear me mind of it
• it actually amazes me how much i can always write in these posts
• if they were shorter i would put them on my tumblr diary blog
• but if i put this on there it would look really ugly
• i don't even know what im saying anymore
• i'm tired and wanting to watch some japanese stuff
• kbyeee