[FIC] Silent Affections [1/1]
Title: Silent Affections
Chapters: 1/1
Author: kikutan
Pairing/Characters: [Hyde x] Rame (one-sided)
Rating: R for matsurbation >:B
Genre: Smut…?
Warning: Self satisfaction; crack?
Disclaimer: [bout time I make one of these, eh? XD] Don’t own the boys, but I DO own the idea~ :B
Summary: “He stared at himself for a moment, wondering as his fingers trailed over the remaining clothes, if his cousin would ever find him beautiful. Worth more then a simple greeting or embrace in passing from time to time.”
Comments: Based on my Rame muse from the RP forum Scattered Feathers. Some background may be in order, ne? Well…Hyde is the youngest prince of the palace and Rame is one of his cousins, and secretly lusts after Hyde, though he’s terrified of the man. Silly, silly Loli-boy~ <3.
Rame watched the water in the smooth white porcelain fill, colored an ugly gray at first before it became crystal clear in an illusion of cleanliness. His teeth biting his lip as if he really did intend to cause himself harm in some shape or form. He looked around the kitchen he was in, scouting for any maids or other people employed at the castle, as if they could read his mind and ridicule him for more then just his chosen dress code.
It was at this point that he was severely glad for the volume of his skirts; they tended to hide the things he wanted most to conceal. Unbearable erections being first and foremost on that list. He set the cup aside and reached for the last one to be rinsed, he would wash them more carefully once they were all safe back in his room. Absently he wondered when he’d get the opportunity to use the set his second oldest cousin had given to him while he fought desperately not to think about a certain relative that terrified him as much as made him want.
Of course I would choose today to want something like that… he sighed as he stopped the flow of water and gathered his things in his arms carefully, in preparation of rushing back to his room.
Just as he’d turned to the doors of the kitchen, a handful of maids came in, jostling him in their rush to get back to the staff table to gossip. He heard his name tossed around for a moment regardless of his nearly invisible presence in the room before the topic changed to his cousins. Of course it would be so, they were the most wanted men in the palace and when they were actually home they were talked about even more.
Sighing heavily, Rame shook his head and left the kitchen, rushing down the halls to take care of the pain beneath his skirts he’d tried so hard, and failed, to forget about. A pout claimed his lips as he was stopped by a group of male servants carrying tables down the hallway cutting down the one he was traveling. He hadn’t been aware of any banquets being held in the near future but of course, with an erratic King like there’s, it was quite possible that there was one in the making.
When he finally got passed them and made it to his room, the demure man slipped inside and immediately turned the lock, not that anyone would set foot into his chambers without invitation. He doubted anyone would want to anyways, except maybe Tsunehito now and then for some tea.
Nearly breathless from the pace he’d been going, Rame set his tea sets down on a table inside his sitting room, leaning on the glass top for a moment to catch his breath. Trying to cool his body down though he knew it would be impossible without removing his clothes; something he was loathe to do in his current state. With a self-deprecating mind-set, the effeminate male moved slowly into his room and stood in front of a full body mirror just across from his bed.
Looking at his reflection, he recalled every word ever said about him by the ladies and servants of the palace and could agree with almost every one of them. Maybe he was too hard on himself; maybe he needed more confidence, a boost in self-esteem.
As he stood in front of the mirror, Rame began undressing himself, starting first with his accessories. He removed his rings and gloves first and then the ornaments on his head that exposed his neck with perhaps too much femininity. The bodice came next, exposing more of his skin and the corset underneath, revealing the ties that kept his skirt, petticoats and crinoline from falling off his slim hips. Dropping the clothing to the ground, he ran his fingers over one of his shoulders and then reached for the ties at his back, leaving the only remaining piece of clothing with colors the corset and camisole.
He stared at himself for a moment, wondering as his fingers trailed over the remaining clothes, if his cousin would ever find him beautiful. Worth more then a simple greeting or embrace in passing from time to time. Rame also wondered why his depressing train of thought had done nothing to diminish the arousal pressing against his skirts so painfully.
Next to come off were the camisole and chemise, leaving him in nothing but his petticoat, crinoline, corset, garters and undergarments. More and more of his shapes becoming obvious as he lost the layers that became his hiding place. The broadness of his shoulders, the slimness of his waist and hips, the bones that wouldn’t be sticking out so strongly on a lady, the muscle on his arms and the vague impression of his cock straining against those layers. Maybe if he’d been born female and not a relative he’d have the chance to grace his cousin’s coverlet. But at the same time, he sincerely doubted it; he didn’t have the confidence, and he knew he wouldn’t have the confidence even if his gender were switched, therefore he wouldn’t be noticed. Like now, how he wasn’t noticed as anything more then a shy nobleman dressed ridiculously in women’s clothing.
He removed his petticoat and crinoline, dropping them to the floor with the rest of his garments, taking off the chemise shortly after, leaving him with only his corset holding his garters and stockings up underneath his drawers. He could see the evidence of his arousal more clearly, the bulge, the wet spot where the head wept and pressed against the flimsy cotton. And then he was undressing the rest of the way, keeping his eyes off the mirror as he did so.
Hesitant fingers traveled back up his now completely naked body as he straightened back up from removing his stockings. Heavily lashed eyes fluttered against flushed cheeks and thin, pouting lips colored with just enough rough to be attractive without making him look like a harlot letting out a soft breath of almost resignation. And then his dark eyes opened completely to take in the vision of his form in all its naked glory, a pool of fine red and cream-colored silks sitting at his slim ankles.
Rame touched the glass and pursed his lips, turning his head to the side as his other hand slid down his toned stomach, closer and closer to the thing he had wanted to forget about moments ago in the gardens. So close to the object of this specific desire and yet so far that he was sure there’d never be a reality of such thoughts. But he could dream and hope and he would and no one would be the wiser, because who would suspect this quiet and withdrawn man, scared of everything but perhaps his own shadow, to want the one that seemed to intimidate him the most?
Stepping out of the dress, Rame moved backwards to his bed, slowly as his eyes watched the muscles bunch and shift beneath his skin the way they wouldn’t in a real woman. His fingertips idly caressing the fine patch of hair at the base of his aching arousal. When his legs hit the cool silk of his duvet, he let himself fall, his eyes finally moving from his reflection to roll back into his head as he positioned himself comfortably on his bed and leaned back. He was about to soil his bedspread and for once in his life he couldn’t care less, his mind suddenly becoming full of the youngest prince in the most sinful of ways.
As the noble leaned back into the plush cushion of his bed, his fingers wrapped tightly around his arousal, and unsolicited gasp escaping his parted lips as he did so. Rame could imagine that sinful smile he pretended he never noticed when it was cast in Aoi or Reita’s direction finally directed at him. Those fingers he’d only felt in passing through the material of his dresses or gloves moving teasingly across his bare skin. And the words he’d heard before, telling him how much more then just the favorite cousin that he could be should he merely request it.
A low, meek sounding moan reverberated its way from his throat and passed his lips, a blush burning its way across his skin as the images of his cousin intensified. His mind conjuring up the feeling of plush lips against his own, trailing across his neck and shoulders; hot breath wafting over the side of his face and his ear as words of how lovely he was were whispered to him.
“Ah, Hyde…” he mumbled the name to himself as his fingers slid over the head of his cock, though in his mind’s eye they were his cousin’s fingers bringing him such pleasure.
Rame could almost feel the intensity of the prince’s gaze burning trails into his skin as he arched his hips into his hand that much closer to the edge. He was actually surprised by how real the illusion felt to him, how literally he was imagining the sensations of touches more then just his own hands on his body.
He opened his eyes, just slightly, enough so that he could see to make sure he was only imagining everything. Of course he was; there was no explainable reason, he was sure, that Hyde would realistically be in his chambers caressing him as passionately as he’d like to imagine. Fortunately, the reality of things didn’t diminish the pleasure he felt when he imagined it was his cousin’s touches in place of his own.
It wasn’t long before the desire and images had his arousal culminating to the highest point, his fingers squeezing tightly around his member as he arched off his bed. His eyes closed and his voice calling out to the still air of his room.
“Hyde! …H--hyde…” he bit his lip, just a few more strokes and his load was spurting across his belly and hand in thick, hot ropes of sticky sweet passion.
Rame lay still for a moment, completely relaxed on his bed and gasping hard to regain some semblance of normal breathing. His eyes still closed though the images had faded with the white-hot explosion of light behind his eyelids upon reaching his climax. Slowly, his eyes opened and he looked around his room as if expecting someone to be there. For this, his darkest of secrets, to be exposed. But of course the room was empty save for him and the sound of his still harsh breathing.
Absently, as he reached for the handkerchief kept conveniently by his bed, he wondered if his desires could ever become reality. If these one-sided feelings could be consummated into something other than familial friendship regardless of Hyde’s almost unnaturally passionate affection for the two eldest princes and his own lack of self-esteem to do so.