Hello all.
I finally have a day off again tomorrow, so since I'm not running around and trying to get everything done in a day (and I got an anonymous comment wondering how I've been doing), here's your update.
My job is, well, even more stressful than before. Since my former manager is now working overseas, we were moved to a new department that is full of people who, even over a month into the change, have not even so much as said hello to me (I had to force myself into a conversation the other day because I was just sick of everything being so awkward). It would be one thing if they were Japanese, because after the sort of formal introduction, there's really nothing else to be said, but considering that this is the localization department, full of people who are either non-Japanese or have worked and lived in not-Japan for some time, not being treated like a person is even more galling because I can't chalk it up to a cultural difference.
The stupid idiot I have been dealing with also got moved to another project, but of course he left a bunch of things unfinished, and still sits next to me, so I have to listen to him bitch about how overwhelmed he is all the time--while everyone just assumes I can not only take over all of his responsibilities again, but since my other co-worker was promoted in the switch, she seems to feel that doing all her old jobs that she used to do when we ran an entire game alone are now below her, so while I can rely on her to make schedules and make nice with the managers who refuse to have any idea that we have ten times the content of the virtual novel apps that they do when they bitch me out for working overtime or taking too long to do things now that I have to do everything myself...yeah.
They're basically trying to make this as stressful, overwhelming and humiliating as possible, to the point where even my own mother says they're probably trying to bully me into quitting--but I'm not going down without a fight. I'm sure my new managers would just like to shut down the social apps completely because, if nothing else, I make them look like shit now that I have been moved to their department because my game makes more money in a month than all of theirs do an entire quarter--but they know they're not justified in doing it UNLESS I leave and make it impossible for them to keep my app running. So...fighting and all that stuff, but I've also been fighting for every little thing for the last two years already...and Kiku is getting tired.
I'm trying my best, at least, to make sure that my weekends remain mine, but I don't know how long that will last.
I am actually shocked to learn that my health check results came back and other than my white blood cell count being really high (was I fighting off something that day, or am I just under constant stress to the point it's starting to affect my health? WHO KNOWS?!) there really wasn't anything said to me. I was being judged for my weight the whole time, as usual, but someone apparently clued them in on the fact that telling someone their fat is the end of the world isn't really on, so I guess that's nice?
I haven't really kept up with anything, as usual...the only thing I've really enjoyed lately is the new season of Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu LOVE! which is basically my favorite anime of the decade and the only one I watch religiously. I deeply appreciate them broadcasting at midnight so I can actually be home to catch the new episodes every week (though they're also great for keeping up the episodes for the whole week until the next one airs anyway).
I can't thank the dwindling numbers of my loyal friends enough for standing by me during all of this. I've really learned a lot, at least, about how I no longer need to waste any energy on people who will give me nothing in return. With that, of course, comes knowing how valuable those who have stood by me are. I haven't really been the easiest person to get along with, or even relate to; so the few who continue to try mean everything to me.
Still reading the same book I was when I last updated, probably, which is absolutely shameful to me. I don't know what's happened to myself in that regard, and I don't like it. I always say (as I did above) that I want to get some of myself back...but it looks like it's going to be a process still.
And, that's life, I guess.
My job is, well, even more stressful than before. Since my former manager is now working overseas, we were moved to a new department that is full of people who, even over a month into the change, have not even so much as said hello to me (I had to force myself into a conversation the other day because I was just sick of everything being so awkward). It would be one thing if they were Japanese, because after the sort of formal introduction, there's really nothing else to be said, but considering that this is the localization department, full of people who are either non-Japanese or have worked and lived in not-Japan for some time, not being treated like a person is even more galling because I can't chalk it up to a cultural difference.
The stupid idiot I have been dealing with also got moved to another project, but of course he left a bunch of things unfinished, and still sits next to me, so I have to listen to him bitch about how overwhelmed he is all the time--while everyone just assumes I can not only take over all of his responsibilities again, but since my other co-worker was promoted in the switch, she seems to feel that doing all her old jobs that she used to do when we ran an entire game alone are now below her, so while I can rely on her to make schedules and make nice with the managers who refuse to have any idea that we have ten times the content of the virtual novel apps that they do when they bitch me out for working overtime or taking too long to do things now that I have to do everything myself...yeah.
They're basically trying to make this as stressful, overwhelming and humiliating as possible, to the point where even my own mother says they're probably trying to bully me into quitting--but I'm not going down without a fight. I'm sure my new managers would just like to shut down the social apps completely because, if nothing else, I make them look like shit now that I have been moved to their department because my game makes more money in a month than all of theirs do an entire quarter--but they know they're not justified in doing it UNLESS I leave and make it impossible for them to keep my app running. So...fighting and all that stuff, but I've also been fighting for every little thing for the last two years already...and Kiku is getting tired.
I'm trying my best, at least, to make sure that my weekends remain mine, but I don't know how long that will last.
I am actually shocked to learn that my health check results came back and other than my white blood cell count being really high (was I fighting off something that day, or am I just under constant stress to the point it's starting to affect my health? WHO KNOWS?!) there really wasn't anything said to me. I was being judged for my weight the whole time, as usual, but someone apparently clued them in on the fact that telling someone their fat is the end of the world isn't really on, so I guess that's nice?
I haven't really kept up with anything, as usual...the only thing I've really enjoyed lately is the new season of Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu LOVE! which is basically my favorite anime of the decade and the only one I watch religiously. I deeply appreciate them broadcasting at midnight so I can actually be home to catch the new episodes every week (though they're also great for keeping up the episodes for the whole week until the next one airs anyway).
I can't thank the dwindling numbers of my loyal friends enough for standing by me during all of this. I've really learned a lot, at least, about how I no longer need to waste any energy on people who will give me nothing in return. With that, of course, comes knowing how valuable those who have stood by me are. I haven't really been the easiest person to get along with, or even relate to; so the few who continue to try mean everything to me.
Still reading the same book I was when I last updated, probably, which is absolutely shameful to me. I don't know what's happened to myself in that regard, and I don't like it. I always say (as I did above) that I want to get some of myself back...but it looks like it's going to be a process still.
And, that's life, I guess.