Thoughtless Stabs into my Brain for the Day
Yesterday I fell in Pimentel Hall. Between the rows. I kinda bruised my left knee and right shoulder and my right index finger wont stop bleeding. Yikes. Anyway, lesson of the day : "Running in the dark in an empty lecture hall is bad news bears".
So I hobbled to my other job today. Working at the hospital has been such a great influence in my personal/professional development. But i cant see myself staying like this forever. Behind a desk. Answering phones. Routine and monotonous drills like cutting grass.
On the contrary, i cant see myself outside of the work when it is to be done. In my coordship of CalSO, I delegate, manage, and find solutions to many of the problems that arise during the program. Yet i feel disjointed from the fun and excitedment that one does while doin the work. I have yet to let go and have my staff fully do what they do. Last year i felt that i enjoyed what i did and had a boss that delegated responsibility and trusted us with that responsiblity. Its not as if i dont trust my staff, it more of my complex of me wanting something done right, i have to do it myself.
I guess i have to continually tell myself that i hired a supreme staff and that they are able to follow my guidance. Yet i feel so strange in that position of leadership. I want to lead and do. and thats what i kinda do. Ive met my goals of re-establishing my role and presence as the admin coord and i think this cohort of CalSO sees the admin coord in a different light than in past years. I dont know if it has been because of my effort and time put into my position or my personality (or lack thereof some would argue), yet i have my own professional relationships to work on. It seems as if i focused so hard on the perception of my staff that i failed to acknowledge and establish my presenence with my fellow coworkers. In that i feel as if i messed up in a sense and have a lot of work to do before the summer ends.
Seven minutes remain until i depart my other job. Im glad this day went by relativly smoothly. Waking up at 7 is so much better than 545am. Another that i realize is that i need to put my professional life on hold or at least, not put my social and physical life on hold in response to my investment in professional development. So if you are my friend or someone that wants to hang out, lets do so. I really dont want my professional life to envelop and devour everything that is dear to me. It seems as if i have lost so much in the relationships with my friends and family, its gonna be a challenging void to refill.
So I hobbled to my other job today. Working at the hospital has been such a great influence in my personal/professional development. But i cant see myself staying like this forever. Behind a desk. Answering phones. Routine and monotonous drills like cutting grass.
On the contrary, i cant see myself outside of the work when it is to be done. In my coordship of CalSO, I delegate, manage, and find solutions to many of the problems that arise during the program. Yet i feel disjointed from the fun and excitedment that one does while doin the work. I have yet to let go and have my staff fully do what they do. Last year i felt that i enjoyed what i did and had a boss that delegated responsibility and trusted us with that responsiblity. Its not as if i dont trust my staff, it more of my complex of me wanting something done right, i have to do it myself.
I guess i have to continually tell myself that i hired a supreme staff and that they are able to follow my guidance. Yet i feel so strange in that position of leadership. I want to lead and do. and thats what i kinda do. Ive met my goals of re-establishing my role and presence as the admin coord and i think this cohort of CalSO sees the admin coord in a different light than in past years. I dont know if it has been because of my effort and time put into my position or my personality (or lack thereof some would argue), yet i have my own professional relationships to work on. It seems as if i focused so hard on the perception of my staff that i failed to acknowledge and establish my presenence with my fellow coworkers. In that i feel as if i messed up in a sense and have a lot of work to do before the summer ends.
Seven minutes remain until i depart my other job. Im glad this day went by relativly smoothly. Waking up at 7 is so much better than 545am. Another that i realize is that i need to put my professional life on hold or at least, not put my social and physical life on hold in response to my investment in professional development. So if you are my friend or someone that wants to hang out, lets do so. I really dont want my professional life to envelop and devour everything that is dear to me. It seems as if i have lost so much in the relationships with my friends and family, its gonna be a challenging void to refill.