man sieht nur mit dem herzen gut.
anthony & the johnsons make me wanting to cry my soul out. it was a mistake to put 'i am a bird now' on last night because it made me feel so miserable. i couldn't fall asleep for more than an hour and just cried and cried all the time. it was like strange feelings were coming out again. they evoked ....things i hate to think about...i tried never to think about again. they came out and all i was doing was sobbing and crying and whistleling invocations and my dearest wishes.
so after a while my head began to ache like blazes and everything from hair to chin to chest was wet from the tears. i finally found sleep at one in the morning and that's how i feel today. for about two or three days my life is completely apathetic. i act as if i had the blues. is that the state of melancholy? it feels quite...pleasant, to put it bluntly: i like it. this is strange, eh? those feelings are coming like waves. i'm laughing and stuff but in the next second i think that we're talking about complete nonsense and that everyone around me is shallow and we're just smattering around.
as if i'd live besides the normal for a few seconds or hours.