(like a) butterfly
Rating: PG-13
Genre: [Spoiler (click to open)]angst
Length : 3672
Pairing : Taehyung/Jungkook
Summary : Jungkook is the glue that holds Taehyung together.
Warnings: [Spoiler (click to open)]hallucinations
A/N: Inspired by ~Butterfly~
It isn’t very late. Very early, in fact, but Taehyung wakes up like he does every day: that time before dawn when the night is darkest. He pats the bed beside him drowsily, frowning when he feels nothing, but realizes that he’s been patting the headboard when he cracks open one eye.
Unbidden, a smile creeps up on his face when he sees half a face and tousled hair sticking out of the blankets beside him. The eyes don’t open, the face does not twitch even when Taehyung softly brushes the hair aside. At least Jungkook has remembered to not cover his face completely and burrow in the blankets like he has a tendency to do, but only after years of nagging from Taehyung.
It’s a foolproof way of ensuring that his day goes well, Taehyung thinks, biding his time before actually getting up. Looking at Jungkook’s face every single day that he wakes up. Brushing strands of wayward hair that just won’t sit flat on his head. Sometimes catching a glimpse of his bunny teeth smile before leaving for work when Jungkook has had a good shift the previous night and has come home early.
For now though, Taehyung leaves him be because he has probably had a grueling night at the hospital and Taehyung doesn’t even know when he’d climbed into bed.
He must’ve been pretty tired himself.
He walks down the slightly narrow road towards school, breathing in the clean, crisp air as a cock crows in the distance. He’s always loved walking the slightly long distance in the light of the rising sun, leaving behind their small house that faces the beach, and the comforting lap-lap of waves. The buses don’t start this early in the small town anyways, and Taehyung is almost always alone, save for a stray dog or cat until he reaches the centre of the town, where the market is. People greet him there, and he makes it a point to stop and talk to every single of them, enquiring about their families and sometimes picking up a couple of his kindergarten kids from their busy parents because they just might not find time to drop them at the school later.
It’s part of the reason why he always leaves earlier than he actually needs to. At first, it had been to get to know the townspeople after he and Jungkook had moved here, but now, he actually enjoys it: the interaction, the playful bantering, the freebies some of the older grandmothers press into his arms because he’s doing something for the good of town, teaching our grandkids what we could never learn ourselves, sometimes just because you’re so handsome, look at you! I’d marry you in a jiffy if it weren’t for your man and my old one back home!. The people here had always been warm-hearted, but Taehyung already feels like a part of them in spite of having lived here for barely two months.
“There’s a campfire tonight at the beach,” Yeri’s mother tells him, as a bounding Yeri chases after butterflies that hop from flower to flower that have been carefully arranged in his mother’s stall. “It’s a fun night for everyone, and even the kids get to stay up because it’s the weekend tomorrow. You should come! Bring along your dashing husband, too.”
The woman has a teasing twinkle in her eye and Taehyung blushes a bit.
“Make sure you get him!” she continues. “Two months and we haven’t even seen his face. Give us something to feed our old woman fantasies.”
Taehyung laughs, watching Yeri clasp her hands carefully around a beautiful blue butterfly, only for it to fly away at the last minute. “I will tell him,” he replies. The butterfly is now hovering over a bunch of daisies hidden behind some sunflowers in the back of the stall. “It’s just that he’s been busy settling into the hospital in the next town, so he comes home very late every day.”
The woman’s face falls a little, so Taehyung hurriedly continues, “I’ll ask him to come home early today! We wouldn’t want to miss the campfire for the world!”
“Mommy! Mommy, look!” little Yeri shouts. “Look! The blue butterfly has a friend!”
There’s another one, just like the first, perched uneasily on a daisy, looking like it’ll fall off any minute. And Taehyung’s heart clenches a little when he realizes why, just a second after Yeri’s mother, when it tries to flutter its wings feebly. One of its wings is practically missing, tattered remains are all that are there, and it looks like a bird has tried to eat it, only to fail and leave it half pecked-at.
Yeri’s mother ushers him and Yeri out, muttering about how they’re going to be late, to distract her from the poor butterfly, but not before it loses balance and falls on the cobblestone road.
Although Yeri is successfully distracted, Taehyung is not and even as Yeri slides a pinky into Taehyung’s fist and bounces, telling him about the wonderful bedtime story her grandmother told her last night, he cannot get the image of the broken butterfly falling on the ground out of his mind.
Taehyung calls Jungkook during the children’s nap time, after he’s cleared up all the stray toys and when he’s free, and when he knows Jungkook has lunch break. It still takes him an awfully long time to pick up, though, and Taehyung bites his lip, waiting, until the ringing breaks to the most beautiful sound he’s heard.
“Hello?” comes Jungkook’s voice, already laced with exhaustion, although a better part of his shift is still left.
“Hey, it’s me,” Taehyung replies. “Is it your lunch time yet?”
There’s a deep sigh down the other end, and Taehyung’s heart clenches a little, because he’s the one who’d insisted that they move here, leaving behind their friends and family and an already settled life, in favour of this new town and new people and Jungkook is the one who has to suffer because he has to travel to the next town, and when Taehyung had hesitantly suggested that they move there instead, Jungkook, being the wonderful person he is, had refused because it had already been a week here and the kids had already gotten used to Taehyung.
“The shortest lunch in the history of mankind,” Jungkook says, trying to sound cheerful, but failing miserably.
Taehyung winces. He hesitates, wondering whether to tell Jungkook to accompany him to the campfire when he’s clearly tired already, and sounds like he’s in no mood for any kind of festivities, but then he thinks about how good a change from the usual will be for them. Besides, a beach campfire might actually turn out to be romantic and maybe a little romance will get rid of Jungkook’s exhaustion.
“I’m leaving the cafeteria right now, actually,” he hears Jungkook say. It’s eerily silent in the background, and while Taehyung knows it is a hospital, he’d have expected at least a little bit of bustling.
“There’s a campfire at the beach tonight, and all the townspeople have invited us.” A pause. “Do you think you can leave a bit earlier today?”
“I don’t know…”
“Try? Please?” Taehyung replies. “I really want us to go and everybody wants to see you, my ‘dashing’ husband.”
Jungkook laughs and Taehyung lets the sound wash over him and wash away all his apprehensions.
“What have you been telling them?” Jungkook asks.
“Nothing that’s not true,” Taehyung replies, without missing a beat. “Look, I know you’ve been stressed lately, so it’ll do you good taking some time off. We can enjoy a romantic night at the beach!”
Jungkook laughs again, and it sounds a bit freer now. Taehyung loves the fact that he can have that kind of effect on Jungkook, that he can make him feel better at any time, any day and anyhow.
“I was ready to say yes, even before all this half-assed convincing,” Jungkook teases, making a chuckle bubble out of Taehyung.
“Teacher?” pipes up a soft voice from the mattresses where all the kids are asleep. Yeri sits up and rubs her eyes before staring at him sleepily.
“My kids are getting up,” Taehyung mutters into his phone. “I’ll see you later at home.”
“Alright, I’ll try and come home as early as possible.”
Taehyung doesn’t pause before whispering a last I love you.
Yeri is still staring around drowsily, but he knows she won’t go back to sleep again once she’s woken up like this, although there’s a little more time left for nap time to end.
“Hey, Yeri,” Taehyung whispers, helping her out of the blankets and leading her to the washroom to wash her face. “Did you have a nice nap?”
He’s most definitely not prepared for Yeri’s bottom lip wobble dangerously and a couple of fat tears escape her eyes. Her face scrunches up like she’s trying to stop crying, but can’t quite manage so.
Taehyung crouches in front of her and she hugs him tight, throwing her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in his shirt. He carries her like that out of the washroom and they sit in the comfortable chairs on the porch outside. Yeri isn’t really crying, but Taehyung senses that she needs some comfort.
“I kept seeing the poor butterfly in my dreams,” she finally whispers, jutting out her lower lip. “What must’ve happened to it, teacher?”
Taehyung hesitates. How does he explain death to a four-year-old without making something up?
“Do you know what happens when someone dies, Yeri?” he asks, wiping her face with his hands.
Yeri nods and sniffles. “When my grandpa died last year, I didn’t see him ever again, so my grandma told me that he’s become an angel. You cannot see angels, Yeri-ah, but you can always feel them, she said. They will always be with you, you only have to think of them real hard.”
She sniffles a bit again. “Does this mean the butterfly is dead, Teacher?” she says, her eyes brimming with tears again. “Why? A-and wh-what about its friend? Is it alone now?”
Taehyung runs a hand through her hair, patting her back until she calms down again. There’s an odd feeling coming over him, something that’s pricking his mind, fighting to make itself known,making his stomach twist uncomfortably and leave slight goosebumps along his skin.
“First of all,” he begins softly. “It’s okay to feel sad, Yeri. It means that you cared about that poor butterfly and that you will later also-”
I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but you can’t shut down like this, Taehyung. It’s horrible, it’s devastating, but you can’t break like this-
“-and your grandma is right. When something dies, be it people or butterflies, they become angels. Angels that protect you all your life-”
You’re too good for me. You’re like an angel, I swear.
I’m your angel. Just yours.
“-and they’re always with you. So whenever you miss them, just think of them, and you’ll feel happier, alright?”
We miss him, too, Taehyung, and we will keep missing him, but you can’t just get up and- Just. Pick up. We’ll talk. Alright? Just tell me where-
“But what about the other butterfly?” Yeri asks. “Will it fall like an angel, too?”
Taehyung smiles softly. “The other butterfly will be here. He’ll make new friends, but he’ll never forget his old ones. He can always remember his angel if he gets too lonely, or if he misses him.”
Please, please-don’t cut yourself off, Taehyung. We’re all here for you. Just-
The pounding headache that develops after Taehyung has talked to Yeri does not recede even after he’s seen off all the kids with their parents and has locked up the school. He’s rubbing the base of his skull from where dull throbs of pain are emanating as he starts the long walk back home, actually wondering if he should take a rain check on the campfire thing, because the pain seems to intensify with every light step he takes, pounding in tandem with his footfalls.
But then the throbbing seems to fade when he thinks of Jungkook, who should be home by the time he reaches and he smiles because not even a measly headache is going to stop him from finally spending some quality time with his husband, especially not when Jungkook has had to go through so much trouble to be there.
It is while he is engrossed in thoughts of when would it be an appropriate time for them to sneak out of the campfire for a romantic walk of their own, that a hand grabs his elbow and spins him around.
He panics, hands flailing and hits the stranger across the face when he doesn’t let go.
“Taehyung. Taehyung, it’s me.”
Taehyung should be panicked because this stranger knows him by name, but some part of him recognizes the voice and he drops his hand, which the stranger lets go after he’s sure Taehyung won’t run away.
“Hey, it’s me, Jimin,” the stranger says, unable to keep the bewilderment of his voice.
Taehyung’s head ache is back with a vengeance now, one of his hands automatically reaching the back of his neck to massage the base of his head.
“I-I don’t-” he stammers, because he can’t, he really can’t remember where he’s seen this guy or met him or heard him-
“Jimin, Taehyung, Jimin,” the stran-Jimin says again, a bit louder this time as if Taehyung can’t hear him, when his voice is actually ringing like bells in Taehyung’s head, increasing the pounding-
“W-We’re all worried about you-”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung gasps out, stepping back, unable to think because his head is positively exploding now. “I-I don’t know you, I-you should go, yeah I should go, I’m-I’m sorry, I’m not-not interested, I-I have a husband, Jungkook-”
There’s a flash of something that passes over the guy’s face, something that looks like apprehension and confusion and pity all at once.
“Taehyung, Jungkook, I-he’s-”
But Taehyung doesn’t wait around to hear more and follows the niggling whispers in his mind that tell him to run, run for his life, for his sanity. He spins around and bolts off down the road at top speed, heart thudding and head pounding. He runs and runs and runs, ignoring all the other people when he reaches the town square, until he’s passed it, and until he can’t really run anymore.
Taehyung didn’t think that it was possible for his headache to worsen, but it’s happening, and he thinks he gasps, but isn’t sure because as the world almost spins when he stops and puts his hands on his knees, panting loudly. He stumbles to some building that’s there by the side of the road, and slumps down against it, resting his head, ignoring the crazy urge that’s telling him to bang his head against the wall because that has got to hurt less than this.
He forces himself to take deep, calming breaths, because he wants to will the clanging in his brain away, because he feels like he’s about to just break-
You can’t break down like this Taehyung, we’re here for you-
He wants to, but doesn’t shake his head for fear that everything will start spinning again. It’s clear that he’s not well, that he’s going to have to take a rain check on this campfire thing, even though he knows Jungkook will be disappointed-
Jungkook.
Jungkook.
Taehyung’s hands scrabble into his pockets and fish out his phone. He quickly dials Jungkook with shaky fingers, almost unable to see the screen clearly, but his body is so used to dialing Jungkook that it’s almost automatic now. But then it’s ringing, Jungkook’s phone, and he’s taking long again, almost too long and Taehyung clicks his tongue impatiently, sweat forming anew along with the anxious wrinkles on his forehead.
When Jungkook finally picks up, there’s only static for a few seconds, interspersed with Jungkook’s voice.
“Hello-hello? Tae- can’t-”
As irritating as the static is, Taehyung cannot deny the wave of relief that washes over him after he hears Jungkook speak. It’s relief like he’s never known before, and he’s struck by the realization of how much they can actually affect each other, how much power they have over each other, how much Jungkook has over him.
Already, he can feel his headache lessen.
“Hey,” he replies.
“I can’t-where-”
“I’m on my way home.”
“Can’t-hear-Tae-”
The panic is rising a little again, because the static is increasing and all Taehyung wants to do right now is hear his wonderful voice, throw himself in his arms and drown all his worries, breathe in his wonderful scent, but he can’t because he’s somewhere and Jungkook’s somewhere-
“Pier-beach-”
Taehyung infers that he’s at the pier and cuts the line. He stands up shakily. The dizziness has mostly receded and he sets off at a brisk pace towards home.
The pier isn’t very far from their home and he can already see people setting up stuff for the campfire. He waves back from afar as some people wave at him, and they can’t really see him properly in the light of the setting sun, his sweaty shirt and clammy hands and the fact that the ground still seems to be swimming a bit before him; sand threatening to drown him like sea-waves.
There’s nobody at the pier. Taehyung stands on the remains of what once was a light-house, eyes scouring the area for his husband, so they can just go home and he can relax. There’s a tall wooden portion of the watchtower still standing though, and when Taehyung squints upwards, he sees a silhouette sitting on the top.
It has never surprised Taehyung how he can do practically anything for Jungkook. How he never has to second-guess or rethink. It’s like his body is on autopilot when it comes to Jungkook and he does things before he thinks them.
He’s still shaky though, so he takes his time climbing up slowly, ignoring the slight ache in his arms that develops by the time he gets there.
“You took your sweet time getting here,” Jungkook teases, lying on his back. Taehyung joins him without delay, curling up under his arm. He feels so much better already. “Getting old, are we?”
“I wasn’t feeling so well,” he offers as an explanation, tracing the silhouettes that the setting sun casts on Jungkook’s chest and face. Not wanting to worry Jungkook, he dips down to peck his lips, once, twice, thrice, until he loses count and until there’s nothing between them, yet everything between them and Taehyung is breathless. Breathless by the fact that Jungkook is here, that he loves him, that he’s going to be with him, always.=, and that he doesn’t ever have to hear it from him to know it’s true.
“What happened to you?” Jungkook asks softly, linking their hands together and stretching them towards the sky. Light glints off their wedding bands like a beacon off a lighthouse. “You look like you’ve been through hell.”
Taehyung sighs. “I feel like I’ve been through hell.”
Jungkook waits for him to explain. But when Taehyung doesn’t, he leaves it be, sitting up and extending a hand instead.
“Let’s go home,” he says, and Taehyung is lost once again to wonder how he ever deserves such a wonderful man. He stands up and hugs Jungkook tight, unable to say what he’s feeling, just losing himself in the smell of him and the comfort that it brings.
“You’re beautiful, you know,” he hears Jungkook say above him and plant a kiss in his hair and the moment is perfect, but Taehyung suddenly remembers the guy he’d bumped into-
And his heart is racing again, palms beginning to sweat.
And he just- he doesn’t know what’s going on, what’s wrong with him, why all this is happening to him, he doesn’t know what he wants-
And it feels like all he knows is Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook and no one else, nothing else, like he can live and breathe Jungkook, that’s how crazy he’s going right now, but-
“You won’t leave me right?” Taehyung finds himself asking inspite of himself. “You’ll stay with me?”
For a fleeting moment he thinks that Jungkook is weirded out, because his mouth is saying things without his brain’s consent, like he’s drunk or high on something, but then he replies, “Of course I will.”
“Always?”
“Always.”
Jungkook finally breaks their embrace, as the sun touches the horizon.
“Come on,” he says. “Let’s go down. Campfire’s about to begin.”
He’s leading them the wrong way, Taehyung realises, but makes no attempt to correct him. It’s the wrong edge of the wood, and Taehyung should be afraid, panicking, but surprisingly, he feels no fear. His mind completely blank save for the Jungkook that’s dominating all his senses now, he follows him, step for step, unhurried, unpaced, and without realising, they’ve already reached the edge.
The wrong edge.
“My angel,” Taehyung whispers, voice breaking midway. “Why did you leave me?”
Jungkook smiles and extends a hand. “I won’t now. Ever.”
Taehyung takes a shaky breath. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
Taehyung can barely hear the cacophony of noises on the beach now. The festivities have almost started, and all the townsfolk seem to have gathered already.
But Taehyung pays them no heed, smiling as he grasps Jungkook’s warm hand. Jungkook squeezes it and it makes him smile even more, because, really, he doesn’t think he needs anything else but Jungkook.
“I promise you, I’ll always love you, and always, always stay by your side,” Jungkook whispers.
And then they’re flying.
“Mommy, look!” little Yeri shouts, amidst the chatter of the townsfolk. “An angel, just like that butterfly!”
Genre: [Spoiler (click to open)]angst
Length : 3672
Pairing : Taehyung/Jungkook
Summary : Jungkook is the glue that holds Taehyung together.
Warnings: [Spoiler (click to open)]hallucinations
A/N: Inspired by ~Butterfly~
It isn’t very late. Very early, in fact, but Taehyung wakes up like he does every day: that time before dawn when the night is darkest. He pats the bed beside him drowsily, frowning when he feels nothing, but realizes that he’s been patting the headboard when he cracks open one eye.
Unbidden, a smile creeps up on his face when he sees half a face and tousled hair sticking out of the blankets beside him. The eyes don’t open, the face does not twitch even when Taehyung softly brushes the hair aside. At least Jungkook has remembered to not cover his face completely and burrow in the blankets like he has a tendency to do, but only after years of nagging from Taehyung.
It’s a foolproof way of ensuring that his day goes well, Taehyung thinks, biding his time before actually getting up. Looking at Jungkook’s face every single day that he wakes up. Brushing strands of wayward hair that just won’t sit flat on his head. Sometimes catching a glimpse of his bunny teeth smile before leaving for work when Jungkook has had a good shift the previous night and has come home early.
For now though, Taehyung leaves him be because he has probably had a grueling night at the hospital and Taehyung doesn’t even know when he’d climbed into bed.
He must’ve been pretty tired himself.
He walks down the slightly narrow road towards school, breathing in the clean, crisp air as a cock crows in the distance. He’s always loved walking the slightly long distance in the light of the rising sun, leaving behind their small house that faces the beach, and the comforting lap-lap of waves. The buses don’t start this early in the small town anyways, and Taehyung is almost always alone, save for a stray dog or cat until he reaches the centre of the town, where the market is. People greet him there, and he makes it a point to stop and talk to every single of them, enquiring about their families and sometimes picking up a couple of his kindergarten kids from their busy parents because they just might not find time to drop them at the school later.
It’s part of the reason why he always leaves earlier than he actually needs to. At first, it had been to get to know the townspeople after he and Jungkook had moved here, but now, he actually enjoys it: the interaction, the playful bantering, the freebies some of the older grandmothers press into his arms because he’s doing something for the good of town, teaching our grandkids what we could never learn ourselves, sometimes just because you’re so handsome, look at you! I’d marry you in a jiffy if it weren’t for your man and my old one back home!. The people here had always been warm-hearted, but Taehyung already feels like a part of them in spite of having lived here for barely two months.
“There’s a campfire tonight at the beach,” Yeri’s mother tells him, as a bounding Yeri chases after butterflies that hop from flower to flower that have been carefully arranged in his mother’s stall. “It’s a fun night for everyone, and even the kids get to stay up because it’s the weekend tomorrow. You should come! Bring along your dashing husband, too.”
The woman has a teasing twinkle in her eye and Taehyung blushes a bit.
“Make sure you get him!” she continues. “Two months and we haven’t even seen his face. Give us something to feed our old woman fantasies.”
Taehyung laughs, watching Yeri clasp her hands carefully around a beautiful blue butterfly, only for it to fly away at the last minute. “I will tell him,” he replies. The butterfly is now hovering over a bunch of daisies hidden behind some sunflowers in the back of the stall. “It’s just that he’s been busy settling into the hospital in the next town, so he comes home very late every day.”
The woman’s face falls a little, so Taehyung hurriedly continues, “I’ll ask him to come home early today! We wouldn’t want to miss the campfire for the world!”
“Mommy! Mommy, look!” little Yeri shouts. “Look! The blue butterfly has a friend!”
There’s another one, just like the first, perched uneasily on a daisy, looking like it’ll fall off any minute. And Taehyung’s heart clenches a little when he realizes why, just a second after Yeri’s mother, when it tries to flutter its wings feebly. One of its wings is practically missing, tattered remains are all that are there, and it looks like a bird has tried to eat it, only to fail and leave it half pecked-at.
Yeri’s mother ushers him and Yeri out, muttering about how they’re going to be late, to distract her from the poor butterfly, but not before it loses balance and falls on the cobblestone road.
Although Yeri is successfully distracted, Taehyung is not and even as Yeri slides a pinky into Taehyung’s fist and bounces, telling him about the wonderful bedtime story her grandmother told her last night, he cannot get the image of the broken butterfly falling on the ground out of his mind.
Taehyung calls Jungkook during the children’s nap time, after he’s cleared up all the stray toys and when he’s free, and when he knows Jungkook has lunch break. It still takes him an awfully long time to pick up, though, and Taehyung bites his lip, waiting, until the ringing breaks to the most beautiful sound he’s heard.
“Hello?” comes Jungkook’s voice, already laced with exhaustion, although a better part of his shift is still left.
“Hey, it’s me,” Taehyung replies. “Is it your lunch time yet?”
There’s a deep sigh down the other end, and Taehyung’s heart clenches a little, because he’s the one who’d insisted that they move here, leaving behind their friends and family and an already settled life, in favour of this new town and new people and Jungkook is the one who has to suffer because he has to travel to the next town, and when Taehyung had hesitantly suggested that they move there instead, Jungkook, being the wonderful person he is, had refused because it had already been a week here and the kids had already gotten used to Taehyung.
“The shortest lunch in the history of mankind,” Jungkook says, trying to sound cheerful, but failing miserably.
Taehyung winces. He hesitates, wondering whether to tell Jungkook to accompany him to the campfire when he’s clearly tired already, and sounds like he’s in no mood for any kind of festivities, but then he thinks about how good a change from the usual will be for them. Besides, a beach campfire might actually turn out to be romantic and maybe a little romance will get rid of Jungkook’s exhaustion.
“I’m leaving the cafeteria right now, actually,” he hears Jungkook say. It’s eerily silent in the background, and while Taehyung knows it is a hospital, he’d have expected at least a little bit of bustling.
“There’s a campfire at the beach tonight, and all the townspeople have invited us.” A pause. “Do you think you can leave a bit earlier today?”
“I don’t know…”
“Try? Please?” Taehyung replies. “I really want us to go and everybody wants to see you, my ‘dashing’ husband.”
Jungkook laughs and Taehyung lets the sound wash over him and wash away all his apprehensions.
“What have you been telling them?” Jungkook asks.
“Nothing that’s not true,” Taehyung replies, without missing a beat. “Look, I know you’ve been stressed lately, so it’ll do you good taking some time off. We can enjoy a romantic night at the beach!”
Jungkook laughs again, and it sounds a bit freer now. Taehyung loves the fact that he can have that kind of effect on Jungkook, that he can make him feel better at any time, any day and anyhow.
“I was ready to say yes, even before all this half-assed convincing,” Jungkook teases, making a chuckle bubble out of Taehyung.
“Teacher?” pipes up a soft voice from the mattresses where all the kids are asleep. Yeri sits up and rubs her eyes before staring at him sleepily.
“My kids are getting up,” Taehyung mutters into his phone. “I’ll see you later at home.”
“Alright, I’ll try and come home as early as possible.”
Taehyung doesn’t pause before whispering a last I love you.
Yeri is still staring around drowsily, but he knows she won’t go back to sleep again once she’s woken up like this, although there’s a little more time left for nap time to end.
“Hey, Yeri,” Taehyung whispers, helping her out of the blankets and leading her to the washroom to wash her face. “Did you have a nice nap?”
He’s most definitely not prepared for Yeri’s bottom lip wobble dangerously and a couple of fat tears escape her eyes. Her face scrunches up like she’s trying to stop crying, but can’t quite manage so.
Taehyung crouches in front of her and she hugs him tight, throwing her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in his shirt. He carries her like that out of the washroom and they sit in the comfortable chairs on the porch outside. Yeri isn’t really crying, but Taehyung senses that she needs some comfort.
“I kept seeing the poor butterfly in my dreams,” she finally whispers, jutting out her lower lip. “What must’ve happened to it, teacher?”
Taehyung hesitates. How does he explain death to a four-year-old without making something up?
“Do you know what happens when someone dies, Yeri?” he asks, wiping her face with his hands.
Yeri nods and sniffles. “When my grandpa died last year, I didn’t see him ever again, so my grandma told me that he’s become an angel. You cannot see angels, Yeri-ah, but you can always feel them, she said. They will always be with you, you only have to think of them real hard.”
She sniffles a bit again. “Does this mean the butterfly is dead, Teacher?” she says, her eyes brimming with tears again. “Why? A-and wh-what about its friend? Is it alone now?”
Taehyung runs a hand through her hair, patting her back until she calms down again. There’s an odd feeling coming over him, something that’s pricking his mind, fighting to make itself known,making his stomach twist uncomfortably and leave slight goosebumps along his skin.
“First of all,” he begins softly. “It’s okay to feel sad, Yeri. It means that you cared about that poor butterfly and that you will later also-”
I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but you can’t shut down like this, Taehyung. It’s horrible, it’s devastating, but you can’t break like this-
“-and your grandma is right. When something dies, be it people or butterflies, they become angels. Angels that protect you all your life-”
You’re too good for me. You’re like an angel, I swear.
I’m your angel. Just yours.
“-and they’re always with you. So whenever you miss them, just think of them, and you’ll feel happier, alright?”
We miss him, too, Taehyung, and we will keep missing him, but you can’t just get up and- Just. Pick up. We’ll talk. Alright? Just tell me where-
“But what about the other butterfly?” Yeri asks. “Will it fall like an angel, too?”
Taehyung smiles softly. “The other butterfly will be here. He’ll make new friends, but he’ll never forget his old ones. He can always remember his angel if he gets too lonely, or if he misses him.”
Please, please-don’t cut yourself off, Taehyung. We’re all here for you. Just-
The pounding headache that develops after Taehyung has talked to Yeri does not recede even after he’s seen off all the kids with their parents and has locked up the school. He’s rubbing the base of his skull from where dull throbs of pain are emanating as he starts the long walk back home, actually wondering if he should take a rain check on the campfire thing, because the pain seems to intensify with every light step he takes, pounding in tandem with his footfalls.
But then the throbbing seems to fade when he thinks of Jungkook, who should be home by the time he reaches and he smiles because not even a measly headache is going to stop him from finally spending some quality time with his husband, especially not when Jungkook has had to go through so much trouble to be there.
It is while he is engrossed in thoughts of when would it be an appropriate time for them to sneak out of the campfire for a romantic walk of their own, that a hand grabs his elbow and spins him around.
He panics, hands flailing and hits the stranger across the face when he doesn’t let go.
“Taehyung. Taehyung, it’s me.”
Taehyung should be panicked because this stranger knows him by name, but some part of him recognizes the voice and he drops his hand, which the stranger lets go after he’s sure Taehyung won’t run away.
“Hey, it’s me, Jimin,” the stranger says, unable to keep the bewilderment of his voice.
Taehyung’s head ache is back with a vengeance now, one of his hands automatically reaching the back of his neck to massage the base of his head.
“I-I don’t-” he stammers, because he can’t, he really can’t remember where he’s seen this guy or met him or heard him-
“Jimin, Taehyung, Jimin,” the stran-Jimin says again, a bit louder this time as if Taehyung can’t hear him, when his voice is actually ringing like bells in Taehyung’s head, increasing the pounding-
“W-We’re all worried about you-”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung gasps out, stepping back, unable to think because his head is positively exploding now. “I-I don’t know you, I-you should go, yeah I should go, I’m-I’m sorry, I’m not-not interested, I-I have a husband, Jungkook-”
There’s a flash of something that passes over the guy’s face, something that looks like apprehension and confusion and pity all at once.
“Taehyung, Jungkook, I-he’s-”
But Taehyung doesn’t wait around to hear more and follows the niggling whispers in his mind that tell him to run, run for his life, for his sanity. He spins around and bolts off down the road at top speed, heart thudding and head pounding. He runs and runs and runs, ignoring all the other people when he reaches the town square, until he’s passed it, and until he can’t really run anymore.
Taehyung didn’t think that it was possible for his headache to worsen, but it’s happening, and he thinks he gasps, but isn’t sure because as the world almost spins when he stops and puts his hands on his knees, panting loudly. He stumbles to some building that’s there by the side of the road, and slumps down against it, resting his head, ignoring the crazy urge that’s telling him to bang his head against the wall because that has got to hurt less than this.
He forces himself to take deep, calming breaths, because he wants to will the clanging in his brain away, because he feels like he’s about to just break-
You can’t break down like this Taehyung, we’re here for you-
He wants to, but doesn’t shake his head for fear that everything will start spinning again. It’s clear that he’s not well, that he’s going to have to take a rain check on this campfire thing, even though he knows Jungkook will be disappointed-
Jungkook.
Jungkook.
Taehyung’s hands scrabble into his pockets and fish out his phone. He quickly dials Jungkook with shaky fingers, almost unable to see the screen clearly, but his body is so used to dialing Jungkook that it’s almost automatic now. But then it’s ringing, Jungkook’s phone, and he’s taking long again, almost too long and Taehyung clicks his tongue impatiently, sweat forming anew along with the anxious wrinkles on his forehead.
When Jungkook finally picks up, there’s only static for a few seconds, interspersed with Jungkook’s voice.
“Hello-hello? Tae- can’t-”
As irritating as the static is, Taehyung cannot deny the wave of relief that washes over him after he hears Jungkook speak. It’s relief like he’s never known before, and he’s struck by the realization of how much they can actually affect each other, how much power they have over each other, how much Jungkook has over him.
Already, he can feel his headache lessen.
“Hey,” he replies.
“I can’t-where-”
“I’m on my way home.”
“Can’t-hear-Tae-”
The panic is rising a little again, because the static is increasing and all Taehyung wants to do right now is hear his wonderful voice, throw himself in his arms and drown all his worries, breathe in his wonderful scent, but he can’t because he’s somewhere and Jungkook’s somewhere-
“Pier-beach-”
Taehyung infers that he’s at the pier and cuts the line. He stands up shakily. The dizziness has mostly receded and he sets off at a brisk pace towards home.
The pier isn’t very far from their home and he can already see people setting up stuff for the campfire. He waves back from afar as some people wave at him, and they can’t really see him properly in the light of the setting sun, his sweaty shirt and clammy hands and the fact that the ground still seems to be swimming a bit before him; sand threatening to drown him like sea-waves.
There’s nobody at the pier. Taehyung stands on the remains of what once was a light-house, eyes scouring the area for his husband, so they can just go home and he can relax. There’s a tall wooden portion of the watchtower still standing though, and when Taehyung squints upwards, he sees a silhouette sitting on the top.
It has never surprised Taehyung how he can do practically anything for Jungkook. How he never has to second-guess or rethink. It’s like his body is on autopilot when it comes to Jungkook and he does things before he thinks them.
He’s still shaky though, so he takes his time climbing up slowly, ignoring the slight ache in his arms that develops by the time he gets there.
“You took your sweet time getting here,” Jungkook teases, lying on his back. Taehyung joins him without delay, curling up under his arm. He feels so much better already. “Getting old, are we?”
“I wasn’t feeling so well,” he offers as an explanation, tracing the silhouettes that the setting sun casts on Jungkook’s chest and face. Not wanting to worry Jungkook, he dips down to peck his lips, once, twice, thrice, until he loses count and until there’s nothing between them, yet everything between them and Taehyung is breathless. Breathless by the fact that Jungkook is here, that he loves him, that he’s going to be with him, always.=, and that he doesn’t ever have to hear it from him to know it’s true.
“What happened to you?” Jungkook asks softly, linking their hands together and stretching them towards the sky. Light glints off their wedding bands like a beacon off a lighthouse. “You look like you’ve been through hell.”
Taehyung sighs. “I feel like I’ve been through hell.”
Jungkook waits for him to explain. But when Taehyung doesn’t, he leaves it be, sitting up and extending a hand instead.
“Let’s go home,” he says, and Taehyung is lost once again to wonder how he ever deserves such a wonderful man. He stands up and hugs Jungkook tight, unable to say what he’s feeling, just losing himself in the smell of him and the comfort that it brings.
“You’re beautiful, you know,” he hears Jungkook say above him and plant a kiss in his hair and the moment is perfect, but Taehyung suddenly remembers the guy he’d bumped into-
And his heart is racing again, palms beginning to sweat.
And he just- he doesn’t know what’s going on, what’s wrong with him, why all this is happening to him, he doesn’t know what he wants-
And it feels like all he knows is Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook and no one else, nothing else, like he can live and breathe Jungkook, that’s how crazy he’s going right now, but-
“You won’t leave me right?” Taehyung finds himself asking inspite of himself. “You’ll stay with me?”
For a fleeting moment he thinks that Jungkook is weirded out, because his mouth is saying things without his brain’s consent, like he’s drunk or high on something, but then he replies, “Of course I will.”
“Always?”
“Always.”
Jungkook finally breaks their embrace, as the sun touches the horizon.
“Come on,” he says. “Let’s go down. Campfire’s about to begin.”
He’s leading them the wrong way, Taehyung realises, but makes no attempt to correct him. It’s the wrong edge of the wood, and Taehyung should be afraid, panicking, but surprisingly, he feels no fear. His mind completely blank save for the Jungkook that’s dominating all his senses now, he follows him, step for step, unhurried, unpaced, and without realising, they’ve already reached the edge.
The wrong edge.
“My angel,” Taehyung whispers, voice breaking midway. “Why did you leave me?”
Jungkook smiles and extends a hand. “I won’t now. Ever.”
Taehyung takes a shaky breath. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
Taehyung can barely hear the cacophony of noises on the beach now. The festivities have almost started, and all the townsfolk seem to have gathered already.
But Taehyung pays them no heed, smiling as he grasps Jungkook’s warm hand. Jungkook squeezes it and it makes him smile even more, because, really, he doesn’t think he needs anything else but Jungkook.
“I promise you, I’ll always love you, and always, always stay by your side,” Jungkook whispers.
And then they’re flying.
“Mommy, look!” little Yeri shouts, amidst the chatter of the townsfolk. “An angel, just like that butterfly!”