oofty goofty
So its two days before christmas, five days before IM 18!!, and i have yet to see my Liss because she hasnt brought her punk ass back from Lowell yet. I am still without employment, but i did apply at the Limited, so if they call me...im in.
Meanwhile it feels amazing to have so much nothingness in my days after my first semester at school. And it was incredible, we'll count it as a W. Ended up on deans list with a 3.7 GPA, not too shabby. I learned so much. Not just in my classes, but about myself and what i want out of my education. I learned that in order to find out things about your own feelings and your own life..that you need to throw your self in head first and do things that you wouldn't "normally" do, because how else do you know? And about people and how amazing new friendships feel. How to deal with things that you dont like, and if you dont speak up no one will respect you or give two shits about what you want. I learned that sometimes people need shoulders to cry on, even if they deny it. That you really do need to read between the lines with some things, and approach the subject gently. I figured out that i have more will power than i gave my self credit for, and that it really is an important asset. Ive also realized that i have a very big heart, just waiting to come out. I can do things like buy my roommate a new fish so that she wont be sad or mad because her old one died..only to have the new one dead by the next morning. I emptied out my wallet to bail my friends out of jail. I got so much satisfaction out of those things, more than i expected. Giving makes me feel good, and im really happy that i have that. I went through a cold hearted phase and it just made me unhappy all the time. So good bye to all that.
On that note, happy 18 to me =)
Meanwhile it feels amazing to have so much nothingness in my days after my first semester at school. And it was incredible, we'll count it as a W. Ended up on deans list with a 3.7 GPA, not too shabby. I learned so much. Not just in my classes, but about myself and what i want out of my education. I learned that in order to find out things about your own feelings and your own life..that you need to throw your self in head first and do things that you wouldn't "normally" do, because how else do you know? And about people and how amazing new friendships feel. How to deal with things that you dont like, and if you dont speak up no one will respect you or give two shits about what you want. I learned that sometimes people need shoulders to cry on, even if they deny it. That you really do need to read between the lines with some things, and approach the subject gently. I figured out that i have more will power than i gave my self credit for, and that it really is an important asset. Ive also realized that i have a very big heart, just waiting to come out. I can do things like buy my roommate a new fish so that she wont be sad or mad because her old one died..only to have the new one dead by the next morning. I emptied out my wallet to bail my friends out of jail. I got so much satisfaction out of those things, more than i expected. Giving makes me feel good, and im really happy that i have that. I went through a cold hearted phase and it just made me unhappy all the time. So good bye to all that.
On that note, happy 18 to me =)