Prompt Fill 17: Recovery (Part 5)
Prompt Fill 17: Recovery (Part 5)
Harry was panicking. Honest to God panicking.
"Perry, let me out of the car." His fingers shook as he fumbled with his seatbelt. He was also pouring sweat.
"Jesus, Harry-" I reached my free hand over to pat him on the arm. "It's okay."
"No!" He closed his eyes and threw his hands out, like he'd walked into a cobweb. "It's not okay!" He looked at me. "It's not FUCKING okay!"
I started to say something else, tried to reassure him again, but he buried his face in his hands and shook his head, breathing heavily and whimpering pitifully. His entire body trembled, and I briefly pondered pulling over before he threw up again or tried to tuck and roll or something.
"Please let me out," he mumbled behind his hands. "Perry..."
"Why do you want out of the car?" I wasn't sure why I asked. I guess I just needed to hear it from him.
"He's going to be mad." He raised his head to look at me.
That's ridiculous was on the tip of my tongue, but I caught myself and didn't say anything. Harry leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes again, his breathing still in little, short gulps.
"Perry, come on..." he was quiet, but definitely begging.
"You want me to let you out so you can go back to Ken?" I looked at him.
"He saw me." Harry started to cry silently, tears rolling down his cheeks. He looked up and away, blinking furiously.
"Yah, well, he saw me too," I said, a little darker than I'd intended.
I pulled over to the side of the road and turned the car off. For a few seconds, I only drummed my fingers on the steering wheel, unsure of what to say. In any other situation, I would have gone off on a rant about how I was going to track this mother fucker down and skin him alive. In any other situation, Harry would have smiled or cheered me on and asked how he could help.
If only this were any other situation.
"Harry, I can't let you go back to Ken," I finally said, sighing a little. I looked at him. "I know you're scared, but I promise he'll never hurt you again."
"You don't know Ken," Harry said, smiling a little. "He's the only person who..." he swallowed hard, and I saw something in his eyes. I'd seen it before at the police station.
"The only person who what?" I prodded softly. "Harry? The only person who wha-"
"Loves me," Harry blurted. He toyed with his fingers.
I nodded. "He's not here, Harry."
Harry nodded too, his eyes becoming wet all over again. He turned away and buried his face in his elbow as he leaned against the door. His shoulders shook and I could hear him trying not to make any noise as he cried. I unfastened my seatbelt and leaned over to rub his back. I couldn't feel them, but I knew all of the thin scars were there.
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"I can't believe we're eating this shit," I said, plopping the pizza box on the coffee table. What I really couldn't believe is that we were eating in the living room.
Harry took a drink of his water and turned his attention to the TV. Just for him, I'd sacrificed a healthy meal and productive evening for pizza and action movies. Even on Harry's birthday I would never do this. I watched Harry from the corner of my eye as he ate a few pizza slices and sat cross-legged on the sofa, his water bottle in his lap. He made a lot less comments than he normally did during movies, but I knew it was because something inside him still shied him away from his normal behavior.
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The following Saturday, I invited Harmony and Jason over for dinner. I tried to do it regularly, but our schedules were all so different. I figured it would be good for Harry to be around people, and his new therapist had whole-heartedly agreed.
Things were going pretty well too. Harry was in the living room with Jason and Harmony-all of them drinking cheap beer, while I cooked. I could hear Harry laughing with them, and it made me smile a little. He sounded just like his old, Harry-esque self.
"Perry?" Harmony called. "I think somebody's at the door. Should I get it?"
"Please!" I called back, quickly moving some steamed fish to a plate on the counter. "It's probably a client that's supposed to drop by with some paperwork!"
I had just burned my finger on the hot skillet and started to run the water in the sink when Harmony all but slid into the kitchen. I guess I must have looked at her strangely because she grabbed my arm and tugged me back into the living room. Jason was on the floor, on his knees, rubbing his head. Blood dripped down from his hairline.
"Where's Harry?" I feel bad about not asking if he was okay first, but even I can speak without thinking. I knelt down and checked on Jason's injury. "What happened?"
"Jason opened the door and some guy pistol-whipped him!" Harmony breathed, clawing at her hair. "He grabbed Harry, and Harry just left with him!"
"He had the gun to him the whole time," Jason slurred, trying to stand up. He swayed slightly and Harmony and I caught him.
"Call the police," I told Harmony. "Take Jason to the hospital, and call the cops."
"Where are you going?" Harmony asked.
I didn't answer her, which I'll admit, was a dipshit thing to do. It probably could have helped once she called the police.
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"Harry, Harry, Harry..." Ken sat beside me on the bed and rubbed my hair. "Baby, I missed you." He kissed me.
"Are you mad?" I had to know. My hands shook. I couldn't stop shaking.
"I'm fucking pissed," he said, kissing me again. "You know the address, Harry. You knew to come back to me if they took you away."
"I"m sorry." I kissed him back, hoping it could make things better.
"You're sorry and what, Harry?" He deepened the kiss, pushing me down onto the bed.
"I love you," I said. It's what he wanted to hear. I know it's what he wanted to hear because he smiled and moved his hand under my shirt.
"Don't squirm," he said as I started to wriggle around. His hands were always so cold. I stayed still the best I could.
"I love you, Harry." I closed my eyes as he worked my shirt over my head, and then my undershirt. "I love you so much, Baby." He was kissing me all over my chest now and I felt sick.
But I promise he'll never hurt you again.
"Turn over," he whispered.
I rolled over and hid my face in the comforter. I could feel his hands fumbling around my stomach, trying to move lower to find my zipper. I held my breath when he did, unzipping me and manuevering me out of my pants. When they got to my knees, he stopped and I felt his fingers touch the tips of the scars on my back-one by one, like he was counting them.
"So beautiful," he said, kissing my back. "You're all mine." He dug his nails into my back. "Say it, Harry."
"All yours," I said, gritting my teeth. "I love you, Ken."
It was then that I decided I really did love him. He was all I had. All I would ever have. I rolled over and he tried to hold me down, but once I got into a better position to kiss him, he calmed down and kissed me back. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted him to love me the way he told me he loved me.
I'm not sure, but I didn't think the sex was as brutal that time. He didn't seem as desperate or urgent. It still hurt, and I still didn't feel the spark, but I just kept telling myself that he loved me, and that made it that less painful in so many ways.
"Love you," I mumbled again when he layed down beside me, craning my head to find his lips.
"Love you." He grinned when my lips found his. "You're very special to me." He propped himself up on his elbow and stuck his index finger so close to my face I almost went cross-eyed. I got the message, though, and began to suck on it.
"This is what I tried to make you understand from the beginning," he said as I grazed my teeth along his finger. He added another. "Everything I did for you was out of love. All of the pain you endured was my pain too, but now you know, don't you?"
"Yes." I pulled my mouth away.
"You won't leave me again, will you?" He prodded the fingers back into my mouth.
I shook my head continued to suck, closing my eyes and finally settling on the idea that I really and truly did love him and everything he did for me.
Onto part 6 (final chapter): http://kikamontanez.livejournal.com/29887.html
To Be Continued....