(no subject)
okay so its been 6 months since ive even looked at this thing. i was just going back and re-reading old entries, and realizing how much has changed, and how stupid i was than and how ive probably become even stupid-er. i dont remember writing any of that. reading it feels like reading a strangers diary, a stranger i dont relate to or understand, and its posted so publicly for anyone to see.
im alone right now. for the first time in a while. i forgot how solitude feels. how slow the day passes when you have no one to share it with. how you notice things you hadnt, how you ignore the things you know. how different every single thing about everything is. i tried to write and couldnt find the words. tried to read but couldnt hear the words. you're everywhere still, and i dont know what to do.
maybe i should call someone, talk to a friend. but i dont have many and i wouldnt know what to say anyway.
im alone right now. for the first time in a while. i forgot how solitude feels. how slow the day passes when you have no one to share it with. how you notice things you hadnt, how you ignore the things you know. how different every single thing about everything is. i tried to write and couldnt find the words. tried to read but couldnt hear the words. you're everywhere still, and i dont know what to do.
maybe i should call someone, talk to a friend. but i dont have many and i wouldnt know what to say anyway.