how quickly emotions turn
Earlier today I was feeling like my vacation had given me some time to recharge and re-energize and I was eager to return in order to pursue some of the job interviews I had in the works, and to spend time seeing my friends.
When I left on vacation last week I had a great telephone interview with a VP of a company I really admire, and the job was one I would really like. In the call he seemed really excited about my candidacy too mentioning that I seemed to have just the right mix of skills. My last question to him was "what are the next steps?" He replied that he wanted to set up some face to face meetings with himself and with some of the other senior people immediately after I returned from vacation, and that he would be contacting them to put together a proposed schedule that we could confirm when I got back. I have been really looking forward to meeting him and the other members of his team!!!
Yet, an hour or so ago, I received an upsetting email. Their personnel rep wrote me:
Hi Scott,
Thank you for taking the time recently to speak with me and XXXXX XXXX regarding our need for a VP of Technology. We certainly enjoyed speaking with you.
While we were very impressed with your qualifications, we have decided to continue our search for another candidate whose skills are more in line with what we are looking for in the position. However, we will be glad to keep your resume on file should we become aware of any other appropriate positions in the near future.
Thank you again for your interest and good luck in all your future endeavors!
Best regards,
ZZZZZ ZZZ
HR Generalist
This is really depressing to me, because this is now the 8th time in 2 years that I have been in the middle of interviewing and the company has cancelled the next meeting and decided to drop my candidacy. While it is possible that these might all just be random coincidences, I keep asking myself how many times do you flip a coin and watch it come up tails each time before you stop hypothesizing that you are just facing a string of bad luck, and start concluding you might be playing with a coin that isn't quite fair?
Right now, I feel like all the positive energy I had built up over the week has been released like air from a balloon that became untied. I am feeling as if a very heavy weight was now settling upon my heart and lungs, and I am really feeling very despondent and too tired to keep up a positive outlook and keep plugging away at it.
This feeling is not merely because I was attached to getting this particular job. I definately wanted it and am disappointed that I didn't get it, but that would not cause despondency because there is always another company, another job and another interview to look forward to. What is kicking me into despondency is the feeling that there is some underlying pattern, some thing that all these cases have in common, which will continue to cause me to have the same result until I recognize what it is and change it. Yet I can't seem to make any progress at finding out what that might be.
I've long ago surrendered to the universe on this count and accepted that I am going to get whatever I get, and it is up to me to be happy with that whatever it is. I get
I understand how important positive thinking is in general, and especially when looking for work. I understand how visualizing a future can often be necessary to achieve that future.
Yet I also am quite aware that one of the signs of irrationality is repeatedly doing the same things but expecting that next time you will get a different and better result.
I am finding it hard to figure out how to reconcile these two seemingly conflicting observations, the power of positive thinking and the importance of a realistic and rational view of the world. I am really struggling in this moment to see what healthy mental choices and a healthy mental path would look like.
In closing, if I don't follow up on my earlier promise to reconnect with each of you with the full vigor I intended earlier today, please forgive me as I have got to restart the recharging cycle and may find it hard to find the energy to reach out or call you until I regain some of the energy I had earlier today but which evaporated this evening. I welcome all your freely offered love and support and yet often find it difficult to reach out for it when I need it most. This is something I am committed to working on, but I am also realizing that it is real hard work to change such a strongly reinforced habit, especially in times of low energy. Please accept that I am trying to juggle this all as best I can, and that I am not intentionally slighting any of you.
Namaste.
When I left on vacation last week I had a great telephone interview with a VP of a company I really admire, and the job was one I would really like. In the call he seemed really excited about my candidacy too mentioning that I seemed to have just the right mix of skills. My last question to him was "what are the next steps?" He replied that he wanted to set up some face to face meetings with himself and with some of the other senior people immediately after I returned from vacation, and that he would be contacting them to put together a proposed schedule that we could confirm when I got back. I have been really looking forward to meeting him and the other members of his team!!!
Yet, an hour or so ago, I received an upsetting email. Their personnel rep wrote me:
Hi Scott,
Thank you for taking the time recently to speak with me and XXXXX XXXX regarding our need for a VP of Technology. We certainly enjoyed speaking with you.
While we were very impressed with your qualifications, we have decided to continue our search for another candidate whose skills are more in line with what we are looking for in the position. However, we will be glad to keep your resume on file should we become aware of any other appropriate positions in the near future.
Thank you again for your interest and good luck in all your future endeavors!
Best regards,
ZZZZZ ZZZ
HR Generalist
This is really depressing to me, because this is now the 8th time in 2 years that I have been in the middle of interviewing and the company has cancelled the next meeting and decided to drop my candidacy. While it is possible that these might all just be random coincidences, I keep asking myself how many times do you flip a coin and watch it come up tails each time before you stop hypothesizing that you are just facing a string of bad luck, and start concluding you might be playing with a coin that isn't quite fair?
Right now, I feel like all the positive energy I had built up over the week has been released like air from a balloon that became untied. I am feeling as if a very heavy weight was now settling upon my heart and lungs, and I am really feeling very despondent and too tired to keep up a positive outlook and keep plugging away at it.
This feeling is not merely because I was attached to getting this particular job. I definately wanted it and am disappointed that I didn't get it, but that would not cause despondency because there is always another company, another job and another interview to look forward to. What is kicking me into despondency is the feeling that there is some underlying pattern, some thing that all these cases have in common, which will continue to cause me to have the same result until I recognize what it is and change it. Yet I can't seem to make any progress at finding out what that might be.
I've long ago surrendered to the universe on this count and accepted that I am going to get whatever I get, and it is up to me to be happy with that whatever it is. I get
I understand how important positive thinking is in general, and especially when looking for work. I understand how visualizing a future can often be necessary to achieve that future.
Yet I also am quite aware that one of the signs of irrationality is repeatedly doing the same things but expecting that next time you will get a different and better result.
I am finding it hard to figure out how to reconcile these two seemingly conflicting observations, the power of positive thinking and the importance of a realistic and rational view of the world. I am really struggling in this moment to see what healthy mental choices and a healthy mental path would look like.
In closing, if I don't follow up on my earlier promise to reconnect with each of you with the full vigor I intended earlier today, please forgive me as I have got to restart the recharging cycle and may find it hard to find the energy to reach out or call you until I regain some of the energy I had earlier today but which evaporated this evening. I welcome all your freely offered love and support and yet often find it difficult to reach out for it when I need it most. This is something I am committed to working on, but I am also realizing that it is real hard work to change such a strongly reinforced habit, especially in times of low energy. Please accept that I am trying to juggle this all as best I can, and that I am not intentionally slighting any of you.
Namaste.