Rock and Read 016 - Takehito's personal interview part 1
Rock and Read 016
Takehito (Ayabie)
Someone who’s needed
- Even in interviews with the band, Takehito, you don’t really talk about yourself, do you.
That’s right. I’m not the type to speak out.
-Which is why I’m looking forward to hearing about your personal side.
Alright (laughs)
- So, we’ll start with your childhood. Please go back to those old days, and tell us about your oldest memory.
That would be from before I entered kindergarten. I rode in my mother’s car to take my brother, who is three years older than me, to and from kindergarten. I recall strolling idly with my mother after dropping my brother off at school. What I remember is the scenery from the car window.
-Giving your brother a ride to and from school was a daily routine?
Yes. I was picked up just as I was from bed and put in the car…… that was a daily thing. Also, around that period when I was about 3 years old, we used to go to the Jojoen store in Meguro as a family quite often; I remember the chairs there quite well.
-A memory of chairs (laughs). The Jojoen at Meguro, that’s the one at Meguro Rokumeikan?
Yes, the one above Rokumei. I think I was at the yakiniku shop above when X-Japan was playing at the Rokumeikan.
-Could it be that you passed by X-Japan?
My mother said that she “remembers there were a lot of flashily-dressed girls lined up on that hill.” Even if it wasn’t X, at that time there were a lot of rock-style artists, weren’t there. At that time the term Visual Kei wasn’t yet in use, but there were many stylish bands.
-Even so, when you were around 3 you were already eating high-grade meat?
(laughs) Well, as might be expected I couldn’t really eat a lot of meat. I think I just drank soup.
-How were your kindergarten days?
The grounds were excessively big, I remember. Well, that may have been because I was small. It was a Catholic kindergarten, so there was a huge church. Again, I may have seen it as huge because I was small (laughs). Around the church was a pond, and there was a giant turtle in it, like the turtle that Kame-sennin was riding in Dragonball. That turtle, too, probably looked big to me because I was small, though (laughs)
-Did you think that Kame-sennin was there, too?
I did not (laughs). At that time I still didn’t know about Dragonball.
-Is that so (laughs).
That turtle is my memory of kindergarten. There weren’t that many opportunities to go to the church, and to my child’s mind it was unbelievable that there was a turtle on the way there.
-What kind of kid were you, at that time?
I was mischievous. And I was really chubby.
-Eh, you were fat?
In kindergarten, there was a point of time when I was 40 kg. In PE when we had to jump over the vaulting box, I couldn’t jump. The teacher tried to assist me, but ended up having to say to my parents, laughing, “Take-chan is so heavy I can’t push him up” (laughs). I was fat till about 1st or 2nd year of high school.
-You only ate yakiniku, or something?
Probably something like that (laughs). For as long as I could remember, I’d always been fat. Also, after kindergarten I’d often go to Shakey’s with my friends and family. That may have been how I put on so much weight.
-Pizza makes you fat, too, what with all that cheese.
Hahaha! I really love pizza. Recently while we were having a recording session, I had pizza delivered.
-Your taste in food hasn’t changed.
Yes. It hasn’t changed from when I was a kid.
-Did you take any extra-curricular classes?
Around the kindergarten period…… I only just realized it, but what my parents told me were “art classes” were actually tuition classes.
-How can that be?
When you enter the class, the little kids are drawing on the first floor. But for some reason I was taken to the 2nd floor, where we were split into groups of about 5, and the teacher would show us a sheet of paper. On that were colours like red, white, green and so on, and we were shown it for about 10 seconds, after which it would be closed quickly and we were told, “Please colour what you just saw on a piece of paper.” Now that I think about it, that was a tuition class for elementary school exams. I was tricked (laughs)
-From your parents’ point of view, if you were told it was an “art class”, you would probably go without complaint.
Yes, yes (laughs)
-But Takehito, you were a “test-taker”, too. (Kenzo was also a test taker = see volume 015)
Actually, I was always taking (entrance) tests. For elementary school, middle school, high school, and university.
-So you’ve been taking that for granted, since you were little.
My older brother went through that too, so I thought that was the way things worked.
-And was it successful?
For elementary school I sat for a written examination and an interview, and finally we had to draw lots. The school seemed to have an “Only those who are fated to come should be enrolled” stance, and I didn’t make the draw, according to my parents. And so I went to a public elementary school in my hometown. Well, it’s not as if a kindergartener would have any sort of academic ability or anything.
-That’s true. And so, how was the public elementary school?
It was really fun. I had lots of friends, and I was really mischievous. In elementary school I was chubby so I was good in a fight, and I was also good at my studies. In class I was always more or less at the top of the class, so it was very fun.
-You were kind of like a gang leader.
Not really. I was always smiling. But gang leaders do bad things, get caught and be scolded, don’t they? When that happened, somehow I would always be at the scene, too (laughs) My friend’s mother pointed it out often. “Take-chan, you’re always smiling and placid, but when it comes to doing bad things you always tag along,” she’d say.
-(laughs) You just simply joined in on the fun.
That’s probably so. We broke the heater in the classroom, and had fights and stuff. I used to fight with the gang leader a lot.
-Because your sense of justice is strong, perhaps?
That might have been a part of it. I’m still like this, but I’m the kind who keeps everything in, so when I get angry I don’t show it at the scene itself; it shows after I build it up for about a year.
-For a whole year? Isn’t that too long?
Hahaha (laughs) In primary school I blew up about 3 times; it was really amazing.
-Were you ever the class representative?
I was, several times. In primary school I hated being anywhere but at the top, so even when we were split into classes of only about 5~6 people I hated it if I wasn’t the chairperson.
-Did you run for the position?
I didn’t have that much initiative. It was probably more of a naturally-occurring thing, I think? I was the group leader, and I was also the class rep. It was by vote, right, and at that time the votes would just roll in.
-That you were so recommended meant that everyone recognized your talents, doesn’t it? “Takehito’s good at studies and is strong,” something like that? Maybe you were popular?
Popular…… I wouldn’t know about that (laughs) I think it’s probably because my grades were good. I helped my friends with their work, but I don’t think my sense of justice was that great, really (laughs) But everyone trusted me, I guess?
-Were you good at sports?
Not at all. If I said it were because I was fat that would be an excuse, but I really couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t jump rope, and up till now I still can’t do a flip. As for running, I was the second to last.
-For a model student who was so good at his studies that he could become class rep, wasn’t that pretty humiliating?
Yes…… well. But I don’t really have any painful memories because I was bad at sports. During the sports festival at school, they arranged us according to our timings for the 50 metre dash and made us run in groups; my group was the lower group.
-Ah, so you were with kids who had similar timings as you.
I took first place in that group before (laughs) But there was once when I really looked up to relay runners. People who were chosen for that were really heroic to me. Since it was a position I could never get into. I wanted to try it, though.
-Eh? Didn’t you mention playing soccer, once?
That was in fourth year of elementary school, when I joined the soccer club in school for just three days, and had to stop because I had cram school and so on, though I’d already gotten a ball and shoes and other equipment.
-Did you stop unwillingly? Or was it because……
I wonder? I was probably thinking, that’s enough soccer for me-.
-Even though you’d gotten all the equipment already (laughs).
I wasn’t really interested, I guess. Instead I was conscious of the fact that I had to study.
-Of course, you were conscious about the fact that you were going to take the middle school entrance exams.
Yes. I’d been watching my brother study for the exams since around first year of elementary school, so I thought that was something I obviously had to go through too.
-So, is that to say that your brother was a pretty big influence in your life?
Pretty big, yes. Everything about me now was mostly influenced by my brother. In elementary school, a three-year difference seems like a lot, doesn’t it? My brother also influenced my music taste. We listened to Chage and Aska and so on since we were tiny, and the computer games I played with him, like a sidekick, were ones my brother had bought (laughs). And the games we played were all taught to me by my brother. Of course, we fought, too; around the elementary school period we had fistfights all the time. My brother was skinny but really strong. I’ve never won him in a fight, not even once…… it hurt, it really did. I didn’t think I could beat him in anything.
-How was your family environment?
My father was usually not strict at all, and my mother was just kind of like “If you do what you’re supposed to you can do anything else you like.” But if we didn’t do what we were supposed to she’d get really angry. She’d throw us out of the house and lock the door and leave us there for a whole hour.
-Meaning, you’d better repent.
Yes. The first few times I waited outside like I was supposed to, but after many such times I got crafty and hit the door at the entrance with an umbrella. My mother, not wanting the door to be scratched, would let me in immediately (laughs)
-Really, that was cunning (laughs). But to be able to afford to send you to private school, you must have a prosperous family.
I don’t think you could call my family really rich, but they gave us a lot of freedom.
-So they gave you a worry-free youth?
Yes. Once, around fourth year of elementary school, my mother fell sick and was in and out of hospital for about a year. At that time it seems I went wild. I did things like put indoor shoes in the girls’ cafeteria food, and said things like “Don’t give me that crap” to my teacher.
-You were probably lonely. For you to have had such a reaction, your mother must have been a big influence on you, too.
She was. Besides that one time, I had a more or less normal elementary school life.
-You could do all your schoolwork?
Everything but PE and music.
-You couldn’t follow your music classes?
I hated them. Really, just for music my grades were in the bottom ranks. I think that was due to my brother’s influence. My brother was always saying things like “That hag, she’s so annoying” about the music teacher (laughs), so thanks to that I unconsciously equated music with being annoying. The lessons were really very boring, so I hated it.
-But at home you must have listened to pop songs, right? And also to music like Chage and Aska, due to your brother’s influence.
My mother loved The Alfee and Anzen Chitai, so as we picked up my brother from kindergarten she always played those cassettes in the car. Once my mother gets into something she never changes so I listened to them for those entire two years.
-You can probably still sing those songs even now?
Yeah, when I go for karaoke I find that I can still sing all their songs. My brother and I also listened to the CDs he bought, like Zard and Wands. In third year of elementary school there weren’t many kids who listened to CDs, so those who knew songs were pretty much heroes (laughs). Because I had my brother, I knew about this stuff way before everyone else, so I had this sense of superiority.
-(laughs) Having a brother made you strong, huh.
Yeah, that’s right. Because I got a lot of information from him.
-That “being a hero” thing seems to have been pretty important to you.
I think I liked being better than other people, even just a little (laughs). Well, I did have that wish, to be better than others. But probably no one actually thought of me that way, so it was just self-satisfaction on my part (laughs)
-Well - probably (laughs). Right now you don’t really show how you feel on the outside, but how were you then?
I wonder? My report card always just said “He has a placid personality” (laughs). That didn’t change for the whole six years.
-Did you have a complex about your size?
I did, quite a bit. In the first year of elementary school, girls and boys change together, don’t they? When I took off my clothes to change into my gym clothes - when you’re fat your chest protrudes, doesn’t it? Some of them told me “You look like a girl”; that was something of a shock. I went to my teacher crying.
-Did you try to lose weight?
Not in elementary school. So, when I discussed this with my mother, she said “If you throw out your chest and draw in your stomach while you’re changing, it’ll be fine.”
-(laughs)!
I really did that all the way to high school.
-It does make you look sturdier. But your mother was really wonderful, wasn’t she. It’s as if she was saying, “Takehito, you’re fine as you are now.”
Yes.
-Did you have any problems in those peaceful days?
In middle school I did experience some frustration.
-What happened?
I qualified for a private school, so I went to a school in Yokohama. So I had to take the train to school, and on top of that the school was in the mountains, a 20-minute bus ride from the station. I hated that so I refused to go to school. It was so troublesome; I didn’t want to go. It’s not that I got bullied or anything. It was just that I didn’t want to wake up early (laughs)
-Up till then you’d been going to an elementary school within walking distance of your home, hadn’t you.
That was the first thing I hated, but also in elementary school I usually got first place, but in middle school everyone was smart, having gotten in through the entrance tests. In that school, the lesson system was such that we were split into classes for Math and stuff according to ability, and the classes had names like ςα and β, γ and so on. I was put into ςα, the top class, but everyone was so study-oriented, it was stifling. I felt so sluggish in the mornings, and even if I were to school it was so tense. In the end I only went to school once or twice a week.
-Weren’t your parents angry?
They were at first, but they gave up on me eventually. In first year of middle school, around autumn or winter I didn’t go to school for about two weeks straight. I didn’t go for the end-of-term test either; even I thought that was pretty bad. Then my grandfather suggested, “Shall we move to a rented house near the school?” But when I told my grandfather that I didn’t want to leave my hometown, instead of us moving he rented another place a 15-minute walk from school.
-Your grandfather really did it, huh.
It was an integrated school with middle and high school factions, so my brother was also studying there, and it really made our school-commuting much more convenient. So our family stayed there during term time, and in the summer holidays and so on we went back to Setagaya. But even then I didn’t go to school.
-Why not!
Since I hadn’t been going to school regularly, I didn’t have any friends. I didn’t understand the lessons either. So even though I started out in ςα, somewhere along the way I’d been moved to β2.
-Counting from the back that was…
It was second-to-last. It would be pretty bad if I didn’t meet the attendance requirements so after the evening classes had ended I’d clatter into class and change the attendance list (laughs). I did that about twice a week.
-(bitter smile) Well, that kind of change in environment is pretty harsh on a kid, isn’t it. But I think that the fact that your family actually went through with such a child-centred lifestyle is really amazing. You were really loved.
Including my grandparents, I caused a lot of trouble to my family…… even so, I didn’t want to get up early.
-What did you do in the time that you didn’t go?
I watched afternoon dramas (laughs)!
-You were really a poor specimen of a human being…… So, wouldn’t you have been pretty well-versed about afternoon dramas?
I watched quite a lot of “Haru-chan”, which was set in a hot spring. Also, I started playing the guitar in second year of middle school…… Ah, but I didn’t play the guitar. I didn’t do anything. Every Saturday I’d go back to Setagaya and had a one-person cram school kind of thing for six hours. 3 hours of English, 3 hours of Mathematics. That was all I really did, week after week.
-In place of school.
That’s why my results for proficiency tests were good. For Math and so on, I got 100 marks for the end-of-year tests for all three years. My studies were as good as always.
-You’d always been smart, after all.
But in elementary school I hated to lose, so I took it for granted that I could finish calculation questions the earliest and still get 100 marks, but I couldn’t do that in middle school, so I thought “If I’m going to lose, it’s better not to join the fight.” If I put in effort and still lose, it’d be better to not try at all and be able to say “I’d have won, actually (laughs)"; I’d become such an unmotivated kid.
-Perhaps that was how you started to develop into what you are now.
Perhaps. I still feel this way, but - I really hated people who were very obviously competitive (laughs). Really, even now my middle school days have a grey, leaden image. I didn’t have many friends, and because I didn’t go to school I’d spoilt the atmosphere at home. At that time I was really bitter.
-Even though your middle school days were like that, wasn’t there anything you enjoyed in that period?
The teacher at the cram school I went to in elementary school was a lady in her sixties, but when I went there was always intense music playing. But at that time I wasn’t interested so I just thought “It’s kind of intense na” (laughs), but in second year of middle school, that teacher told me “This is really cool” and lent me a video, and when I watched it, it turned out to be X. At that period hide had released Beauty & Stupid and was being featured in magazines and stuff, so my brother bought hide-san’s CD and my house was beginning to be filled with an X atmosphere. It was then that I watched the video my teacher had lent me. I thought, “Shit, this is cool. The drumming, it’s really cool~”
-Eh, you started out liking the drumming?
It was the drumming, for me. I thought that no one on earth could drum like that, so I wanted to become like YOSHIKI-san. So, when I told my parents “I want to learn to play the drums”, they called up the Yamaha music school for me. And it turned out that that day just happened to be the day for guitar lessons, so I couldn’t learn the drums, so it was like well let’s go with the guitar then (laughs)
-(laughs)! That was how you started out, was it.
Really, that was how it went. Well guitar also sounds fun. My brother was playing the bass, so if I was going to learn something might as well choose a different instrument. So that’s how I started going for music classes.
-Was that fun?
Well, in classes you had to do it by the book, so it wasn’t amazingly fun or anything, but every year there was one recital. It was a system where you wrote your name and the songs you wanted to play in the guitar section of a piece of paper pasted on the first floor of the school, and when people from the drum and bass sections saw songs they wanted to play they’d write their names in, and that was how bands were formed. I wrote X-Japan’s Rusty Nail there, and when we played that for the recital it was really fun.
-All the members were people you didn’t know, right?
Yeah, we really didn’t know each other, and we were all around the same age so everyone played really awfully. Even so, just going into a studio and practicing was really fun. Usually we could only play the songs in the textbook, right? But only for that period, the teacher would say “You play this part this way” and play X-Japan for us.
-That was the first time you stood on a stage?
Yes. In second year of middle school.
part two!