It's days like this...
Gah!!!! Another hair pulling, teeth grinding, stress-filled time of the year. I sit on my weight-gaining @$$, feeling sorry for myself (when do I not?) as I anxiously try to dodge the big deal paper I need to turn in tomorrow. It's not long, it is all written (just needs editing) but I don't want to put the effort in. Why? Cuz, I've done this for 3 years now, that's why. I probably have another 3 years to look forward to (cuz I procrastinate like a fiend, yo!) and it's like I'm on a damn hamster wheel, never getting closer to that damn goal, despite my frantic running. Of course, I know that I can do this (I simply worry too much) and that despite my idiot parents' misgivings (they keep saying, "It's ok if you can't do it." What the hell is that supposed to mean? It should be "We know you can do it! It's tough, but you have our support!!!!") I should keep to my determination and resolve and not let their doubts become mine. But still, when I reach (flounder consistently) this point (I passed the breaking point years ago and now am running on pure blind adrenaline), I just want to push everything aside, cuddle next to my Renji-thug, and let the world pass me by for a few hours.
Hot Renji-thug sex wouldn't hurt either.