what the heck

Feb 17, 2009 08:48

Who does construction at 8:48 in the morning? Why does it have to be directly outside my house that a sledgehammer/crane/whateverthefuck is banging against the pavement in the street? STOP.

I've come to a conclusion. I need to stop worrying about finding a relationship. I don't need one, period. I have far too much else to worry about, much less obsessing over someone who I am 94% sure doesn't like me. What is the point? Sure, I feel mega led-on..however, I should have expected it. This kid is nice to absolutely EVERYONE. And, maybe there is a 6% chance that in the future, something would develop. But not now. So why get myself so worked up over this?

Okay. That was a bunch of mixed up nonsense.

Sometimes, I really miss Luther. I miss living with my friends, making stupid decisions, and having a LOT of distractions. No doubt that being home is best for me, but I have yet to find something or somebody to be a distraction/keep me sane. That's probably why I latch on to the nicest person that walks by. Poor guy. He must think I'm crazy!

But really, WHO suggests to hang out with someone on Valentines day if they don't like that person?? Boys aren't stupid. There is a stigma about seeing someone on v-day, even if it is just a friend. However, you would think that if that boy KNEW the girl he asked to hang out with was totally crushing on him, and he wasn't interested, he would steer clear. RIGHT!?

Wow I just realized how sad this all sounds! I'm gonna have to restrict privacy settings on this entry...for all 8 people in the world still on LJ!

Part of me says, "just settle". Part of me is convinced that I am just not meant to be with someone like him or my ex. Just settle with an equally as nice, just less funny or interesting or charming guy. Just SETTLE to get over the crush. Healthy distraction. Move on. The other part of me won't let go. There is still that 6% that just might appear someday. But how long do I have to wait before something miraculously happens and there is a storybook ending? How does that even happen?

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
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